Terrified she might fall even further, she scrabbled with her mittens to reach out across the top of the snow and stop herself sinking further. Icy powder hit her face and neck, and then melted and ran down her back, stealing the last drops of her confidence.
‘Help!’ she squeaked, but even the wind ignored her. Behind her was nothing but the markings of her own heavy feet. Ahead only snow-capped trees, and endless white banks below a rapidly dimming sky.
What if it were a gaping ravine beneath her, or a stream?
She remembered the tale of a man who had gone fishing and fallen through the ice. His body had never been found. Would that happen to her? Would she slide beneath the ice and be trapped forever? Would she become a warning, a tale to frighten children into returning home well beforenattmal?
The Hall was filled with tales of monsters and beasts that lived in the woods. Would she become one? Or did an even worse fate await her? The midwife with no family of her own, whose life, like her footsteps, melted away, leaving nothing behind. She would become nothing more than a forgotten memory.
Tears pricked her eyes, and as there was no witness to her humiliation, she let them fall. One heaving sob was followed by another. No one would come to her rescue; she would die, as she had always feared she would...completely alone.
‘Not like this! Please!’ Her sobs became incoherent cries as she wallowed in her self-pity. ‘I haven’t even lived!’
Her wails caused birds to flutter from their perches, and she realised belatedly that her body had at least stopped sinking for the moment. Although, worryingly, the snow was now up to her shoulders.
But at least the snow had stopped cracking beneath her feet and she realised it was now solid. A dip in the landscape then...not a crevasse. Now she feltreallyfoolish, crying like a babe for its mother when she had just fallen into a ditch.
She had indulged in her own misery for far too long, and if she were to die, she should at least try to take her last breath with more dignity then in a hole of her own body’s making.
What if someone found her like this?
Frozen solid and planted in the ground like a turnip. The shame of it would follow her into the afterlife.
Try to be calm, even if you do not feel it.
Her mother’s words gave her strength and she pushed forward, determined to die lying down at least.
Grunting heavily, she began to claw her way out, wiggling her large rump and thick thighs until she managed to drag herself out. Afraid to stand, she began to roll herself down the hillside.
She made good progress, and had to wonder why she had not thought of this method before. It was certainly quicker and took less effort.
But when she thumped into a tree stump and bruised her ribs, she decided it was probably time for her to stand. There were more trees, so there must be solid ground beneath. Stumbling to her feet, she grumbled bad-temperedly when she realised how wet her woollens were—another reason why rolling wasn’t such a good idea. When night came, her clothes would freeze to her body like a heavy shroud.
She tried to shake it off like a dog coming in from the rain, but to her surprise the powder kept falling. Glancing up she realised it was coming from the sky, and she wanted to howl her frustration at the moon over the injustice of it all.
‘Come along, you stupid woman!’ she snapped, speaking to herself harsher than she would have spoken to anyone else. ‘No one is going to help you out of this other than yourself!’
She began to walk, but the snow became thick and heavy, spitting shards of ice in her face like a vengeful spirit.
Maybe she should seek shelter? The craggy peak known as Wolf’s Tooth was a little further ahead of her, and she remembered there were meant to be caves below it. Surely that would be better than being out in a blizzard?
Maybe, if she took shelter, someone would eventually come for her?
It was a hopeful thought, and probably far too optimistic, but it gave her comfort and just enough energy to make the climb.
It felt like days later, when she finally shuffled into the shadow of its overhanging cliff.
The snow was falling thicker now. Her feet were lethargic and heavy. She could barely see the dark mouth of the cave a short distance ahead of her. Despite her exhaustion, she pushed herself towards it. When she was inside, she could lie down and sleep, but not before. Only the endless sleep awaited her if she gave up now.
Her steps faltered at the entrance. She had not thought beyond finding shelter... What if wolves or a bear lived inside? Or even worse...a monster from the tales!
Dying of cold might be preferable to meeting one of those beasts.
There could be a troll, or one of the wolf women called Mara, or Huldra, who ate souls. There were any number of wicked creatures that could be waiting for her in the darkness, and her mind rattled through them, imagining every terrible possibility with growing panic.
The entrance to the cave was large, but it was filled with huge fallen boulders, and craggy rocks, so she couldn’t see inside it clearly.
A gust of wind, so strong that it ripped the cap off her head, swept across the land. Her cap went sailing into the clouds, the white scrap of linen lost quickly amongst the falling snow.
