She felt her smile drop as she realised how much she had revealed without thinking.
‘My mother was a midwife to her Jarl, and I am a midwife to mine. We live in their household, and sleep with the children.’
‘I can understand why you do that, as an unmarried woman. But why would your mother? Where does your father live?’
Embarrassment clawed at her neck. ‘My mother is unmarried. I do not know who my father is.’
His eyes widened a little, and then he looked away. It was the worst thing he could have done. It made her feel dirty.
Clearing her throat, she added, ‘I have my suspicions who it could be, but he has never acknowledged me as his child.’
‘Your mother’s Jarl?’
‘How did you know?’
‘I presume he cannot acknowledge you without offending his wife... Not many men care about offending their wives, unless she is from an important family, and Jarls tend to marry into powerful families...’
Embla nodded. ‘It would be embarrassing to his lady. My mother helped bring his heirs into the world, and for her to have his child as well... It was an insult. So we make ourselves useful, and help with all the children and births. But our position was never guaranteed. It was why I came to live here when his daughter Gertrud married Jarl Thorin of Gudvangen. I needed to find a place of my own.’
The words felt like a lie on her tongue. When had she ever had a place of her own? Even in Gudvangen she slept with the children, her clothes were made from the cloth Gertrud gave her, and the food she ate was provided by the Jarl. Nothing was truly hers, and she realised that was why Runar’s disregard for his own home had angered her so greatly.
‘Gertrud is your half-sister?’ His voice sounded grim, and she wondered why.
Embla paused before answering. ‘It is...not to be spoken of.’
‘She might be glad to know you are her sister.’
Embla busied herself with chopping the vegetables, and gave a little shrug as if she were unsure of the answer. But the truth was, Gertruddidknowwho she was; it was an open secret in her father’s household, and yet she had never acknowledged Embla either, publicly or privately.
But maybe that was why Gertrud kept her nearby?
It was a pleasing thought, but she wasn’t sure if it were true. She could have acknowledged her when she no longer lived under their father’s rule, but she never had.
Runar shook out their cloaks and hung them on the wall pegs to dry. There was a water barrel by the wall, and he refilled both flagons from it. Then he took out blankets from a cupboard and placed one around her shoulders.
He was silent for a while and then to her surprise he asked, ‘When did you arrive in Gudvangen...ten winters ago?’
‘It’s been ten winters this year,’ she said a little surprised that he would know it. ‘I had seen sixteen winters, and Gertrud was due her first babe in the spring. She asked for me to come before the snow grew too thick for travel.’
He nodded. ‘That is why we have never met. My time allowed inside Gudvangen’s gates stopped before that winter. My father was the one who liked to visit the settlement. He had family there, and liked to go Viking occasionally. After he died, I no longer wished to go raiding, and liked to keep my trading visits short...’
He paused, staring at her with an intense gaze that made her shift in her seat. She had always been terrible at hiding her feelings, and she wondered if he could see the doubt in her eyes. She looked away, but she could hear a smile in his voice when he spoke next.
‘Ah, so youdoknow I have been banned from entering the settlement. I wondered if Thorin had made it common knowledge that I was never to return... Do you know why?’
She peeked up at him, the curiosity of the last ten years getting the better of her. ‘No, why?’
‘Because... I fell in love with Gertrud.’
It was as if he held her soft heart in his hands, and had decided on a whim to crush it flat.
Chapter Seven
At his confession, Embla blinked as if there were smoke in her eyes, and then, after a long pause she gave him a tight, lopsided smile. ‘Gertrud is very beautiful. Many men have fallen in love with her. But she is married...’ Her gaze softened with sympathy. ‘You must have been very disappointed when she rejected you.’
He opened his mouth to explain further, but then closed it.
Maybe it was for the best; the details would only embarrass them both.
