I think I’m completely fucked. Just had an away game and I missed Justin too much to focus. What do I do?
Mandy
More like completely pucked, right?
I frown at her text, accompanied as it isby a laughing emoji.
Me
Not funny. I’m actually panicking here.
Mandy
Sorry, bro.
Are you sure it’s not just new relationship shininess? You’ve only been dating for a couple of months, and this is your first away game. Anyway, didn’t you guys win?
Me
Win or lose, it doesn't matter. Coach knows I’m off my game. What if I lose my scholarship?
After I send that, I scrub my hand over my face. Justin is worth a lot to me, but is he worth throwing my degree away this close to the final buzzer? (The answer scares me, because it’s a big, resounding ‘yes’.)
Mandy
That’s a huge leap to make after one game. Everyone has off days, and you have a track record as a solid player.
What’s this really about?
I swallow and glance out the window, watching the scenery speed by. It’s all dirt and tufts of grass and…was that a tumbleweed? Who knew they actually existed?
Looking back down at my phone, I consider how to reply. Courtesy of my sleepless night, and my increasing agitation andbad mood, I’ve started to panic about just how serious things have gotten. I’m only twenty-two. It’s my senior year of college. I’m not supposed to be getting in deep with anyone.
Except I know that’s wrong. I know that there aren’t any rules for when, where, or how people fall in love.
But oh god, that word alone is scary as fuck.
Me
I’m scared. It’s all getting really serious.
Mandy
LOL. I mean, yeah, bro. He has a kid. You knew what you were getting into.
Me
Theoretically, sure, but now that it’s happening, I’m panicking.
I have so many away games. More if we do well in the tournament. Is it always going to feel like this?
And is it fair on him to have a boyfriend who is away all the time?
Mandy
He’s a big boy, Gabe. He can handle time away from you, too. If he feels the same way about you as you do him, you will make it work.
But you should talk about thiswith him, not me.
