I want to tell him that it's a long story and we can talk later, but when I look over at him, his eyes are so genuine. I don't know what magical spell he has over me that I trust him so easily, but I spill everything. I tell him about sitting at the bench some mornings, which he knew about, but that today my brother saw me. I recount the whole conversation, wondering what they were told about me and if there’s any chance that we can get past it somehow. I tell him that my fears were confirmed that at least some of what I went through was passed to Jayden. Garrett's hand never leaves my knee. I can feel him squeeze tighter as I'm talking, but he isn't hurting me.
When I finally stop talking, I realize that we're already in the parking lot of the restaurant.
Garrett gets out of the car and walks over to my side. I undo my seatbelt, but he doesn't let me get out. Not yet. He wraps me in a hug, a tight hug, and runs his hands down my back. I close my eyes and bury my face in his neck. "I'm sorry you had to go through that," he whispers. I take a deep breath of his scent, that woodsy one that I've come to love. "I love you, baby. So, so much. You are so brave for doing what you had to do then. You cannot blame yourself for someone else's actions."
When he pulls back and looks at me, I give him a smile. I believe his words because he's never said anything he hasn't meant before. He's my Daddy and he loves me. He's promised to always be there when I need him. His hands brush over my shoulders and down my arms. It's comforting. "Are you okay to eat here?"
"Yes, Daddy." As if on cue, my stomach grumbles loud enough for both of us to hear. He smiles and leans in for a kiss. Our tongues meet before our lips and we only pull back when Austin clears his throat close by.
"We would like to eat sometime tonight," he says. Garrett rolls his eyes and it makes me laugh.
We're seated right away, since it's a Monday and not very busy. The waitress takes our drink orders and lays out the laminated menus. It's just one page, front and back, of the different drinks and foods they serve. It's all comfort food, exactly what I'm needing right now. Garrett keeps his hand on me in one way or another. His constant touch is my reminder that I'm not alone anymore. When the waitress comes and goes with our orders, I'm much more relaxed.
This is my life. As much as I worry about my siblings and I want to help them, I deserve this life. Like my Daddy says, I have to put myself first sometimes.
Chapter Nineteen
MyBoyishurting.
I don't know what to do to make it better, either. He's been staying at my place all this week, but we haven't talked about it. I don't know how far to push him, but I don't want him to bottle everything up either. I've never had to deal with anything he went through. He was abused for years. Kicked out at seventeen for protecting his youngest sister. I don't know how he went through all of that and is still my sweet, amazing Boy.
I throw my pen onto my desk, fed up with how unfair life is to some people. The pen skids across the surface and balances on the other edge, teetering for a moment before laying still. I sigh and reach across the space to grab it before it falls. I'm looking at Orion's financials today. It's almost the weekend, so I closed the office early and told everyone to go home. They could work if they wanted, but I didn't care. We've been in the pits of the start of tax season and everyone deserves their weekends to unwind.
My phone buzzes on the desk and I pick it up. It's my mom calling. I've been so busy and wrapped up in Orion, that I've barely spoken to any of my family for the past month and a half.
"Hey, Mom." I say as I put the phone to my ear. I stack the papers up, tapping them against the desk to line them up properly before stuffing them back into the folder. It's really not as bad as Orion thinks, but it will take a serious conversation and some figuring out if he wants to pay everything off quickly. I’ve already called the credit card companies and got one of them to lower the interest rate, another to knock off a bit of the balance. I want to offer to help him. Honestly, his biggest credit card balance is about a week's worth of the money I make. But I know my Boy and he'll see it as a handout.
"Hey, sweetie. It's been a while. How is everything?"
"It's good," I say. I sit back in the chair and look out the front window of the house. It's sunny today, but I know the air is cold. "Sorry I haven't reached out in a while."
"Oh, it's alright," she dismisses. "I know how busy this time of year is for you."
"It's not even that," I say. I tap my fingertips against the desk, smiling to myself. "I met someone."
"Oh, Garrett!" My mom squeals— actually lets out a high pitched noise that I take as excitement. My mom might be in her sixties, but that doesn't mean she doesn't enjoy good gossip or happy news. "Tell me about him. How did you meet, what's he look like?"
I'm not telling her how we met. Not the truth, at least. "We met at the coffee shop. He's one of the newer employees there. I was with Remington. He's adorable, Mom. Brown hair with little curls at the end, big puppy brown eyes."
Lips like a sinner, a body that makes me hard the moment he walks into the room, the sweetest moans when I'm fucking him.
Shit, nope. Not thinking like that when my mom is on the phone.
"He sounds wonderful," Mom says. "And young?"
"He's younger," I say. My mom never once judged me when I came out to her. Over the years, I think it's become apparent that I prefer a younger partner. I've had a short-lived fling with someone younger than Orion a couple years back, but most have been late twenties to early thirties. "But he's great. I'll have to bring him by to meet you."
"If he makes you happy, he's great in my books." My mom might be pushing seventy but she has always been before her time. My uncle came out as gay before I was even born and growing up seeing how she treated him no different, I never had to worry about telling her. "Are you two doing anything this weekend?"
"I don't know," I say. "We could maybe stop by, if he's comfortable with it."
"Oh honey, I love you but don't do that." I'm taken aback by her words. I'm about to ask why, but she keeps talking. "Garrett, it's Valentine's weekend. Take him out, have fun. I know you get stressed this time of year so please do something outside of your house this weekend."
Shit.
I always forget about Valentine's Day.
Last year I didn't have anyone to spoil so I didn't need to think about it. This year, though, I want to give Orion everything. I pull up a new tab on my laptop and type in events happening in the city this weekend. I can hear my mom laughing through the phone.
