Austin,forallhischeeriness, takes picking out some toys seriously. I pretty much just gave him my tablet while we eat lunch and have him create a cart of things. There are a lot of stuffies, a dragon, a castle— which I'm almost certain is a biased choice— and a set of coloring books with crayons.
"You have to get the good kind," Austin says with the most serious look in his eyes. "Otherwise the pictures have weird lines and Daddy won't hang them up."
"I did not say you couldn't hang them up, Aussie." Remington butts into Austin's explanation of everything he chose. "I just said that your board was already full and we would have to make a decision. I like the blue ducky you have hanging up."
"Oh! Duckies! You need bath toys." Austin reaches for the tablet, but Remington holds his hand.
"Baby, I think bath toys might be something Orion picks out with his Daddy." When Austin pulls his hand back and looks almost sheepish, Remington continues to speak. Remington's voice is soft. "Do you want to let Riley outside while Daddy talks with Garrett?"
"Okay." Austin leans over and gives Remington a kiss before toddling off to where Riley is curled up on the couch. I never was one that believed dogs weren't allowed on the furniture. It's his house as much as mine. When I turn my eyes back to my best friend, he's giving me a look like he can read all my thoughts.
"So, this is something you both want to continue doing?"
"I don't know how I've been around all of you these past years and haven't experienced it." I run a hand over my bald head. I can feel a little bit of growth start to come out, letting me know I need to drop by the barber shop this week.. "Or if it's just Orion specifically, but man, it was something… I don't even know how to explain it."
"That's why people who aren't in the lifestyle judge," Remington says. "They don't understand that level trust and intimacy. It's a whole level beyond regular intimacy, even when you're sitting and playing with them and physical touch isn't even on the radar."
"Can I ask you something?" I feel out of my depths here, but I want to know in case Orion wants to do another scene tonight or go shopping.
"That's what I'm here for," Remington says.
The sliding glass door opens and Austin and Riley come back inside, both shaking. The snow has melted in the last couple of hours with the sun. It's still cold outside, but I don't think it's low enough to snow again. "Sorry, it got too cold. I'll head downstairs while the Daddies talk."
I roll my eyes and Remington hides his smile. "The TV should still be queued up from yesterday and there are juices in the fridge."
"No sugary drinks," Remington follows up. "I don't need you wired before bed."
"Okay," Austin says with a smile.
"What's up?" Remington asks. I look back at him from the closed door and sit up a bit straighter.
"I'm worried that I'm going to be pushing what I want on him. I know we've talked about it and he pretty much led what we did yesterday, but how do I navigate and make sure that he's doing this for him?"
I think back to that first night we met, when he said he'd gone to the club to find a place to stay for the night. There's a small part of my brain that is telling me that he's doing this to keep me happy. Then to our conversation after the gym, when he said that he's into submission. Is this just another thing that he's going to go along with?
"Hey." Remington's hand covers mine on the counter, pulling me out of the rambling thoughts. "If you're talking about it, especially if you're talking before anything happens, then you need to trust that he's telling you the truth. That's all you can do. You'll learn over time to anticipate certain things and those fears will fall away."
"I want to take care of everything for him," I say with a sigh. "I know that's not logical this early on, but I want him to rely on me for everything. All of it. He told me that he was going to run some errands this morning and I wanted to go pick him up and drive him around, to bring him back here, and take care of him some more."
Remington laughs and pulls his hand away. "You'll find the perfect blend for the two of you, Garrett. Give it time and just remember to talk."
I sigh, but nod. I know this, in the majority of my brain. We'll talk today, when I pick him up.
"Okay, minor freakout avoided." I smack my palms against the counter and smile. Remington shakes his head.
"You're going to be fine," Remington says. "It's different for everyone. I will say, depending on what Orion prefers and I'm not going to pry, don't just buy anything online. The things for today is a reputable store, but I'll send you some links for other sites, and the store across town keeps quality products."
"Got it," I say. "I'm not sure if he's going to be interested in all of that." Even if the thought of dressing him in cute onesies is now all I can think about.
"If he's comfortable with it, you should bring him to our next playdate. It's in a couple of weeks." Remington stands and I know he's about to make his exit. "I'll text you details of it, but don't hesitate to call or text me if you need anything. Oh, and you'll probably have to disregard at least half of the toys that Austin added to the online cart. He can go a bit overboard."
"And whose fault is that?" I raise an eyebrow and Remington shrugs. We both laugh and shake hands. I pull Remington into a half hug. "Thank you, man."
"Of course."
This lunch has been informative. I watch him head down to get Austin while I move the dishes into the dishwasher. When they reappear, Austin looks sleepy and is leaning against Remington. I can tell he's sinking into his Little space. He has the same look in his eyes that Orion had yesterday, the one that says he just wants to cuddle.
"Bye, Daddy Garrett," Austin whispers, koala stuffie in hand, as he and Remington make their way to the car. He's had it in his hand since he arrived.
