Garrett's hands land on my knees. His hands are warm and comforting. Without a word, I climb into his lap and curl up against his chest. "I'm sorry for being mean." I mumble the words against his shirt, eyes still closed.
"It's okay, Aussie." He starts rocking us back and forth. I want to relax, but his smell is different from my Daddy. Still, I don't move. Something is slipped into my hand and I open it against my chest. It's a pacifier. I look up at Garrett who smiles down at me. "Your Daddy gave me that, just in case you needed it. See? It has an A on it, just for you."
There's a drawn on 'A' in Daddy's handwriting on the guard piece. I'm lifting it to my mouth when the door opens and my eyes flick over.
"Daddy!" I scramble from Garrett's lap and fling myself at him. He looks exactly like he did an hour ago. No scratches, bumps, booboos. "I'm sorry. I tried to be good. I just— I missed you too much. I got scared."
"I'm here now," he says. His hand runs down the side of my face and I lean into his touch. I don't bother looking back whenhe talks to the others in the room. "We're going to go to our cabin for a bit."
I don't pull away from Daddy as we walk from Garrett's cabin to our own. Not even once we're inside and he locks the door.
"Baby, can you look at me?" Daddy's voice is soft and I do as he asks. "What happened? I wasn't gone that long."
"I got scared that you weren't coming back," I say honestly. "Rachel had veggies and Garrett couldn't find the apple slices. I thought you didn't pack them and that you didn't care. Then my brain told me that you weren't coming back and I got really sad and scared."
"Aussie, I made you a promise that I wasn't going to leave you and I mean that. We talked about me having to work this weekend so sometimes you might have to play with the others without me, but Garrett is there to help you."
"He doesn't smell the same," I whine. I look up at Daddy and I know I'm pouting.
"How about we lay down for a bit, okay?" Daddy leads me to the side of the bed. His hoodie I took off earlier is still on the bed. He strips me of everything but the diaper and puts the hoodie back on me. It still smells like him and I can feel my brain relaxing. I realize I still have the paci in my hand when we settle under the blanket. "Do you want to use that? You can if you want, that's why I brought it, Aussie. Or…" He pauses and adjusts the blanket so half his chest is revealed. I snuggle in close to him automatically, finding comfort in laying my cheek on his shoulder. "You can use me, if you want."
I look up at him, confused.
"I'm okay with it, Aussie. I told you; whatever you need. If you want to suck your thumb or the paci or… me, that's fine. Take whatever you need, baby. I just want you to feel better and know that I'm not leaving you. Not today, tomorrow, or ever."
I blink at him, letting his words register. My eyes travel down his chest and then look at the paci. I've used a paci before, but being as close to Daddy as I can is what I want. I throw the piece of plastic over my shoulder and kiss him. "I want you, Daddy."
Daddy shifts to adjust our position slightly. I hesitate for just a moment before I cuddle against his body, my face on his chest. I part my lips just slightly and wrap them around his nipple. My tongue lathes around the bud, relaxing at the feeling of it. Daddy's one arm holds me close and his other hand brushes the hair off my forehead.
"I love you so much, Aussie." Daddy whispers the word, his breath hitching when I suck on his chest. His arm squeezes me a little tighter. "Good boy. Take what you need, baby."
My body finally relaxes. I'm here, with Daddy, closer to him than even when we have sex. I can hear each of his heartbeats with my ear pressed to his chest, feel the rise of fall of his breathing. I slot my leg over his and run my hand not trapped between our bodies through the hair on the rest of his body. It's perfect.
I fall asleep like that shortly after.
WhenIwakeup,the windows are much darker. I'm still cuddled up to Remi, my head on his chest. His fingers carding through my hair is what woke me up. I shift, turning slowly toface Remi. He smiles lazily at me. "Good nap?" He asks like he does every time I wake up from a nap.
"The best," I say. Memories come flooding back to me about how I acted while Remi was trying to work. I feel bad and I know I'll need to apologize to the others. The memories of suckling on Remi's chest comes back too and that is a whole other feeling that sends waves of heat over me. "Um, did we…?"
"Yes, Aussie." Remi's smile is even wider now. "How do you feel about that?"
"I…" I loved it. It was exactly what I needed and the fact that Daddy was the one that offered and helped me calm down and knew what I needed is overwhelming in all the best ways. "I really liked it. How did you know?"
Daddy brushes my hair back off my forehead. "After last night, I figured there was a chance you might need something like that again. I made sure that Garrett was prepared. I told him where the pacifier was just in case. I know you got scared, baby, but I promise that even if I'm not right there with you, I will always make sure you're taken care of."
"But I was still mean to them," I say, remembering how I knocked over the toys and made that face at Rachel's food. "I need to apologize."
"You will," Remi says. "But they also understand. I wasn't leaving you with someone that didn't know what was going on, baby."
"You're the best," I say, overwhelmed with emotions once again. Good emotions this time. I kiss across his chest and then scoot myself up to meet his lips with mine. "I didn't mess up your work stuff, did I?"
"Not a bit," he says. "We walked around the field and I took some measurements and then made our way through a few of the other cabins before Garrett called me. I was just on the other side of the field and told Eugene I needed to go help find something I had packed away. He decided to go home for the evening, so we'll explore the rest tomorrow."
"I promise I'll be good tomorrow," I say earnestly. I sit up and Remi mirrors my position, our backs against the headboard. I reach over to the bedside table where I left my notebook earlier. I flip to a page labeled 'Daddy's Promises' and tilt the page so he can read it. I smile when he starts laughing at the mix of random and serious promises he's told me since I started this journal. They range from 'I promise to never leave you' to 'I promise you can have ice cream after dinner if you pick up your toys now'.
I drop the notebook to the bed and turn my head to kiss Remi.
"I love you too, Aussie. My sweet Boy." Remi deepens the kiss until we break apart for air. "No matter what happens, I'll always be right here for you."
