I work down his body, drying every inch of him. He squirms when I reach his cock. I brush my fingers over his balls and down the inside of his thighs. His muscles twitch. I know he's sensitive on his thighs and when I finally hear him call stop, I move lower to dry his feet.
"There. Nice and dry." I stand back up and drop the towel on the floor. We'll clean it up later. "Now, what clothes do you want to wear tonight?"
"I'm feeling sweats and hoodie," Austin says as we move to my bedroom. "I just want a cozy night."
Austin's discarded clothes are scattered by the foot of the bed. I ask him to pick them up and put them in the basket. While his back is turned, I see his phone screen light up. I reach for it first and see the texts from his sister and the two missed calls from his mom.
Bea
Come on, Austin. Answer your phone. We're just worried about you.
You took what we said way out of proportion.
Mom is upset. Call her back.
"Do you want to talk about it now?" I ask. I turn his phone off, making the choice for him that he isn't talking to any of them. I set it face down on the dresser and pull out a pair of sweats for him from his drawer. I help him into one of my hoodies. I smile at the way it engulfs him and his fingers disappear in the sleeves. He flops his arms up and down and laughter fills the room from both of us.
"There's not much to talk about," Austin says with a shrug. "I'm just embarrassed that my family isn't like yours."
"Hey, no talking like that." I pull him into a bear hug and hold him tightly against my body. Austin wraps his arms around my back and holds on just as tight. "Your family is different, but not embarrassing. If you don't want to talk to them, you don't have to. I'll be right here no matter what choice you make, but baby—?"
He looks up at me and I bend my head to kiss him. My hands lift to cup his face gently as my tongue slides against his. His mouth is fresh, he must have brushed his teeth before taking a shower.
"I got upset because they compared you to Paul and started talking about how I was going to outlive you. It just… I told them that one of us could die tomorrow and then I got scared thinking about losing you."
"Baby." I pull him in for another tight embrace, breathing deep to keep my own composure. I whisper in his ear. "I'm not leaving you. Not today, not tomorrow. We're going to make every day worth it, right?"
"Right." Austin nods and I finally let him go and take his hand. Or, the sleeve where his hand should be. He laughs and pushes the sleeve up and takes my hand.
The hot chocolate is perfect temp when we make it back to the kitchen. We decide on continuing the holiday celebration with a bowl of popcorn and watching Miracle on 34th Street. It's been years since I've seen the movie, but I've never enjoyed it more than I do with my Boy cuddled into my side.
Even if he does fall asleep thirty minutes in.
I decide to let him sleep and go back upstairs to pack our bags. I start with our clothes, making sure to pack jeans, sweats, sweaters, and the likes. I pack myself a pair of khaki pants and a button up for when I'm meeting with the owner.
Moving to the playroom, I pull out the blue and yellow suitcase pushed in the back of the closet. I don't remember when I bought it, honestly, but it's come in handy a few times. I start with the clothes. I make sure to pack warm and light. I don't fully know what to expect of this place. I've seen photos and done research. The photos look nice. There are pictures from past years when the camp was being used and it looks like a lovely place, but as the owner says, it hasn't been used in two summers. He's looking to revamp.
I move to the changing table next and grab a little bit of everything. Handful of diapers, wipes, cream, powder. I packup a couple of toys too, outside of his beloved stuffies. When I open the final drawer in the dresser, I pause.
Bottles and pacifiers stare back at me. Those two moments when Austin was sleeping with his thumb in his mouth flash through my mind. The way he's been regressing younger, messing up his words one time or another. My hand hovers over them before deciding to grab one of each.
Just in case.
The thought of caring for Austin with bottles, holding him while he sucks on a paci or even uses me as a paci takes over my brain. I definitely have to talk to him about it. Even if it's just a scene that we do. I'm more than content with him the way he is. He's perfect. I just can't shake the vision of it and I know I won't until we talk it out.
I zip up the suitcase and take both bags downstairs and set them by the front door. We'll be heading out around eight in the morning. It's a two hour drive and I figure we can stop and grab breakfast on the way. I'm hoping that the Friday after Thanksgiving isn't too bad traffic wise.
I look over at Austin, curled up on the couch fast asleep. I smile and walk over to brush his hair out of his face. It's close to three and he had a long morning so I'll let him sleep for another hour. I know he's going through a lot and naps seem to be his coping mechanism. I hope that by the new year, things will settle for him.
The movie is still playing softly in the background and I sit at Austin's feet to watch it. I massage his toes, up to his ankles. He doesn't stir once as the movie finishes out. I didn't eat much at lunch and my stomach is starting to rumble so I head to the kitchen to make a couple of sandwiches. One for myself and one for Austin when he wakes up.
I'm halfway through my sandwich when Austin shuffles in. Sleepy-eyed and hair ruffled. My heart swells up again at the sight of him. I love him so much. I set the food down on the plate and open my arms for him. He walks right into me, pressing me back against the counter with a small 'oof'.
"Sorry I fell asleep," he says. "I didn't realize I was that tired."
"It's okay." I rub his back and motion my head to the plate. "I made you a sandwich. I also went ahead and packed up our stuff for this weekend."
"What time is it?" He picks up the sandwich and goes to take a big bite. I give him a single look and he changes the amount he bites off. It makes me smile.
