“Are you sure? It seems like he’s wanting—”
“Austin,” I interrupt. “I love my job and I’ve worked hard, but I like to keep work and my personal life as separate as I can. It can wait until Monday. This weekend is for us.”
I fix him with my ‘don’t argue’ stare and he concedes easily. “I just need to sweep and I’ll be good to go.”
I clear through a few more emails before Austin is ready. I make sure he puts on his coat, since the weather is getting colder by the day, and lead him around the back to the parking lot. I don’t like thinking of him walking this short path on his own when the days get dark so early. I know he’s been doing it for years, but I don’t like it. Not in the city, with the hospital just a few blocks away.
I help him buckle in before adjusting the heat in the car and heading out. The club is a good thirty minutes through the city streets, with the traffic and all the stoplights. We talk about our day and what we want to do this weekend.
The closer we get to the club, the quieter Austin becomes. His answers are a max of five words and I can see him struggling to not pick at his nails.
I find a spot to park a block away. I place a hand on Austin’s knee before he can reach for the door handle. “Talk to me.”
“About what?” Austin keeps his hands close to his stomach. I squeeze his thigh gently.
“Aussie,” I start. I don’t really know about what either, but I can tell something is on his mind. I know he isn’t going to fully enjoy himself tonight if he doesn’t talk about whatever is swirling in his mind. “What’s going on?”
He mumbles something against his chest and I jostle his knee lightly to get his attention. “I can’t hear you, baby.”
"I'm just remembering the last time I was here," he says a bit louder. When he looks at me, I can see him fighting back tears. I wish like hell I could take all his pain away, but I know that's something he'll have to work through. All I can do is help give him new memories and be there when he needs to let it all out.
"It's been a while, hasn't it?"
"Four years, I think." I lift the console between us, grateful that my truck can turn into a bench seat, and pull him closer to me. I kiss the side of his head. I reassure him once again that I'll handle anyone that says something. He lets his body sag against mine. "We came for the dance party they had."
I smile. I don't remember if I was there that night. "I'm sure you blew everyone away with your awesome dance moves."
The truck fills with Austin's guffaw and I laugh at his reaction. "My dancing is bad when I'm not in Little space. It only gets worse."
"I don't know." I draw the words out. "I think that little elbow, booty shake thing you do is absolutely my favorite dance move, ever."
"Oh no." Austin smacks his forehead and shakes his head. He's smiling, though. "That's… I'm never doing that again. No more music."
"I beg to differ," I say quickly. He's blushing so hard I can see it in the lighting coming from the businesses around us. I give an internal fist pump in the air when he giggles. There are no more tears or mumbling words. “Are you ready to go inside?”
He takes a second, but then nods. I tell him to wait while I grab our stuff and then walk around to open his door. I take his hand in mine and set the strap of the duffel bag on my other shoulder. I packed it full of his things for tonight, not sure what kind of headspace he would be in around others.
The club is set in a part of the city that isn’t too busy. There are other shops and businesses around, but it's more restaurants or specific shops. Places you wouldn't go unless you had a reason. The outside is white brick with no windows. There’s a stripe of black brick offsetting the door, giving the whole facade a modern, nondescript feel. I hold the door open for Austin, sighing when the warmth hits my face.
The lobby isn’t crowded, but we do have to wait in a line. Austin’s hand tightens in my grip as we move up in the line. “They’ve added a few things since you were here last,” I say. “They have a room dedicated to Littles now instead of just the themed nights. It’s not big, but they have a ball pit, some coloring stations, toys, and a snack station.”
He nods, but doesn’t say anything. We step up in line. I use my right hand to unzip the top of the bag and pull out Koka.Austin’s face lights up and he reaches for the stuffie quickly. I watch him bury his face in the fur between the ears. It’s a comfort thing for him, I’ve learned. He does it when falling asleep too for his naps. When we go to bed, my chest is the thing he buries his face in.
“Hi, welcome to Club Thrive. Are you a member or visiting for the night?” The lady behind the counter is at least fifty, if not older. She has soft, blue eyes and gray hair braided loosely over her shoulder. She’s wearing a complete leather suit that molds to every curve of her body. She looks amazing, even if I’m immediately wondering how hot that suit gets.
“I’m a member,” I say. I pull my ID out of my wallet and hand it over. “I’d like to add him to my account, please. Baby, can you hand her your ID?” I look back at the lady. “He’s been here before, but it’s been a couple of years.”
“We hold all of our details for five years,” she says with a smile. “Hi, honey. How are you tonight?”
Austin looks at me for reassurance. He’s sinking into his little space already. “I’m good. Thank you.”
She gives him a smile and then turns back to me. “Are you looking to play with others tonight?”
“No, ma’am. Just the two of us.”
“Any specials rooms you’d like to reserve?” The lady is typing away on the computer, most likely inputting Austin’s information. Her smile falls just a moment and her eyes dart between the two of us.
“Aussie, how about you take the bag and pick out which outfit you want to wear, okay? I’ll be right there.” He nods and moves across the room to sit in one of the chairs. The lobby is clean, well lit with fluorescent lighting. I turn back to the lady. “I know his name is listed with another caregiver.Paul passed away three years ago. Austin hasn’t been here since with anyone else. If we can, I’d like to switch him under my account.”
