“I’m sorry, Aus. I didn’t know.” I curse myself inside. I should have known that it meant something. I wasn’t even thinking a minute ago.
“You couldn’t have known,” Austin says. “I’m sorry for safe wording because of it.”
“Absolutely not.” This time I shift my body so I’m facing him. “You use your safe word whenever you need to, for whatever reason, Austin. No apologies for it.”
I hold him close, unsure of exactly what to say. I brush my fingers through his hair, still damp from his bath. I can hear his sniffles continue for several minutes. And then, so quietly, I hear him sigh before sitting back up. “There’s no chance of going back to the moment, is there?”
“I think we could both use some cuddles tonight,” I say gently. “Do you still want me to dress you?”
“Yes, please.” The words are soft spoken and I can see the pain and grief still in his eyes. I stand up and motion for him to lay back. He’s wearing the shirt already, but his lower half is still bare.
“I’ll be right back. Don’t move,” I instruct.
My first stop, quickly, is to move the box inside from the front porch. It takes some grunting and maneuvering, but I get it inside the door at least. Then I move to the playroom and grab the lotion sitting on the dresser. I want him to relax and a good lavender lotion will do the trick. I snag the first stuffie I can reach as well, Elle. Aussie is still laying on the bed where I left him five minutes ago.
“Alright, Aussie. Let’s get you sorted and we’ll read some stories before bed, okay?”
“It’s not even nine yet,” he complains. “I don’t want what I said to ruin the rest of the night.”
“Aussie.” I turn my eyes to him and fix him with a stare. “You did not ruin anything. I need you to repeat that back to me.”
I situate my hands under his armpits and shift him up the bed so he’s resting against one of the pillows. His legs are bent slightly, fallen open like he’s waiting for the diaper. I straighten his legs and reach for the lotion bottle. Austin is already cuddling with Elle.
“I didn’t ruin anything,” Austin says after a few seconds. “I’m still sorry for not telling you earlier.”
“It’s okay, Aussie. There are a lot of memories that you hold and you don’t ever have to tell me.” I sit down on the bed next to him and start at his feet. “Not unless you want to. And everything will come with time.”
I move from one foot to the other. Silence falls between us but glances up to Austin’s face tells me he’s not taking his eyes off me. I can see his cock fighting to get interested again the closer to his groin I get.
“That feels good,” he whispers when I lift his leg to massage the back of his thigh. “Thank you.”
“Anything you need,” I say easily. I lean down just slightly and kiss the inside of his knee. I finally let my shoulders relax when I hear his laugh again. “You’re very ticklish, Aussie.”
I stand up to reach the rest of his legs. The room smells like lavender and I smile when Austin tries to hide a yawn from me. It might be early, but I have a feeling he’s going to crash soon.
Austin lets out a moan when I finally massage my fingers into the crease of his thigh. I use my other hand to wrap around his cock, giving him just a few teasing tugs before letting him go. He is average in size with a thin patch of pubes around his base. My hands push his shirt up and I massage another dollop of lotion over his stomach and ribs.
“Alright, baby, let’s get you dressed.” I reach for the diaper before turning back to Austin. “Do you still want this?”
“Um, yes please.”
I direct Austin to lift his hips and secure the diaper in place. It’s been a minute since I’ve done this and I realize how much I miss it. I help him slip the pants on next. He looks absolutely adorable in the pajama set and I tell him so when I help him stand up. He’s cuddling Elle in one arm.
“You look adorable,” I say before pressing my lips against his. He tries to deepen the kiss and I give in for just a second before pulling back. He’s pouting out his bottom lip and it makes me smile.
“Adorable enough to possibly have some ice cream before bed?” He bounces on his heels and I’m relieved to see he’s coming back from that somber mood.
I look behind him at the clock on the nightstand. It is still early enough.
“We can have a little bit,” I say. His smile widens further. “But you have to promise that you’re going to listen to me and go to bed when I tell you it’s time, okay?”
“Double pinkie promise!” His expression is full of excitement and I’m glad that he’s back to his giggly self he was during the bath.
“Well, let’s go get you some then.” I take his hand and lead him back toward the kitchen. I park him at the table with a chaste kiss. The ice cream is plain chocolate. I limit both of us to just one decent scoop. I sit the plastic bowl down in front of Austin but don’t let go. “I need my messy eater to be careful, okay? We just got you all clean so another bath isn’t in the cards tonight.”
“Yes, Daddy. I’ll be careful.”
And he is careful. What takes me four bites to eat, it takes him double. He doesn’t make a drop of a mess. I would have changed his clothes if he did get messy, but I’m glad he kept his promise.
