Both fell asleep pretty quick after that.
But they didn’t stay asleep.
Whether it was themselves or Tawson, one of them had shifted in their sleep and Tawson was the one curled up into Vic’s side. Tawson was clinging to Vic, holding them close like they were going to disappear in his sleep.
Everything was dark out. They usually kept the lamp on, but that was broken. Vic imagined Tawson alone, trying to fight the panic attack. It hurt Vic to know that he’d been alone for any point of time. He’d come home from campus to Vic.
Not to be alone. But to hold Vic. Confide in them. To say he loved Vic.
Vic kissed the top of Tawson’s head that was resting on their chest. Their mind was racing too much to sleep. They weren’t sure what time it was, but they did have to get the horses inthe morning.
Vic thought about the things that were said. The things their family said about the two of them together. It was everything Vic was scared of them saying. Vic tried to rationalize with himself that everyone would be confused. Vic wasn’t known for dating, never shared that they were part of the LGBTQ+ community. They never shared their real feelings toward themselves. Vic was known as the quiet one, the reserved one. A secret relationship would have questions.
Tawson stirred in his sleep a few times, but he didn’t open his eyes until hours later.
“Hey, sleepyhead.” Vic kissed the top of his head once more and then his forehead, nose, lips. “Feeling any better?”
“A little,” Tawson answered honestly. “Thank you for coming up here.”
“Of course I was going to come back to you, Tawson. I want you to know that.” Vic stared at the ceiling. Their eyes were straining to see anything. “I’m sorry about my family. I’m sure we’ll be sitting down to talk today. Do you know what time it is?”
Tawson moved once again and grabbed his phone from the bedside table. “It’s just after three. We slept for a while.”
“I think we both needed it,” Vic said. “I’ll have to head out in a bit but I’ll be back. I promise.”
Tawson’s lips found Vic’s temple and he kissed the spot gently. It was a barely-there brush of lips. “I meant it when I said it,” Tawson whispered. “I love you, Vic. Like, a lot. It was all I could think about yesterday. Just get home and get to Vic.”
“I love you too,” Vic said. “I meant it as well.”
“I’m sorry if I’m causing issues with your family,” he said. “I can talk to them.”
“No, no. You have enough to deal with right now. I can handle my family.” Vic congratulated himself for sounding surer than they felt. “I’ll let you know how it goes, though. But let’s get some more sleep. Can you set your alarm for five-thirty? I guess that’s one perk of the cat being out of the bag. I can sleep in longer.”
Tawson chuckled but did as Vic asked. Once they were settled again, Vic’s back to Tawson’s front in a spooning position, Vic laced their fingers together and lifted his hand to kiss his knuckles. They fell asleep again.
Two hours later, Vic was sitting on the top porch step pulling on their boots to start mucking out the stalls. Their mom got them a pair after they’d ruined a pair of new shoes when they were younger. The front door creaked open and Vic looked over their shoulder. It was Paxton. She was wearing her hair in a loose braid, jeans and a tee rounding out a relaxed look.
“I thought dad was helping this morning,” Vic said. They tried to hide the bitterness in their voice.
“I asked him to switch with me,” Paxton said. “Vict-”
“Just Vic, please.”
“Vic, why didn’t you tell any of us how you identified? How long have you felt like this?”
“It’s been a couple years,” Vic answered. They walked across the gravel, weaving between their cars, to the barn. “I always liked different things than the other guys close to my age in high school. Different things than most everyone in the family. I love the ranch, don’t get me wrong, and the animals. I don’t mind the work. I just- It wasn’t until meeting Tawson that I finally felt safe and comfortable enough to tell someone else about it. He’s helped me so much. I do love him. He’s smartand funny and kind and just amazing.”
Paxton reached out a hand and laid it on Vic’s shoulder. The horses were starting to stir since they opened the door and flipped on the switch. “I love you, Vic. I love you no matter what. I think the whole thing just caught us off guard and I’m truly sorry for what I said. If I hurt you, or Tawson, in any way. You’re my little broth- Sibling?” She shook her head, like she knew trying to guess the word was not coming out right. “You’re family. Plain and simple. And as long as you’re happy, I’m happy for you.”
“Thank you.” Vic could feel the tears burning behind their eyes. “Now, let’s get to work because I left Tawson sleeping in bed. I’d rather him not be alone right now.”
“Let’s get to it.”
And just like that, Paxton was okay with it. Vic hoped that it would be that way with their parents. Maybe Paxton could be a mediator. By the time they locked the last horse into the stall, the sun was slowly chasing away the shadows. Both of their parents were sitting on the porch. Paxton laid a hand on Vic’s shoulder.
“It’s okay. I’m right here. I think it’ll be good for all of us to talk this out.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
