By the time Joe arrived, Vic had taken a shower and texted Tawson that everything was okay and they were safe. Vic let their best friend in and they sat on the couch to eat and watch a couple episodes of Family Guy. They’d seen all of them already, but it was a comfort show. Joe had been there an hour before he finally muted the TV and turned to face Vic.
“Okay.” Joe licked sauce off of his fingers and adjusted the blanket over his lap. “What’s up?”
Joe was keen to Vic. He knew there was something they needed to talk about. Vic wasn’t sure how to start the conversation, though. Joe moved his hand slowly, reaching out for Vic’s. Vic had to remind themselves that this was their best friend. The one that helped Vic realize their sexuality. The one that was there since Vic was the oldest in their Kindergarten year from being held back.
“I’m nonbinary.”
There.
The words were out.
Vic couldn’t take them back. They stared at their hands, the way Joe had held his out to comfort them. His hand squeezed around Vic’s, tugging lightly until they looked up at Joe. Joe was smiling.
“I bet that feels good to get out, doesn’t it?” Joe asked. “Victor.”
“I actually, uhm.” Vic coughed, clearing the lump in their throat. “I like to go by Vic. If you don’t mind.”
“Vic.” Joe said their name and smiled. “I like it. I don’t know why I never thought of it myself. But Vic, how long have youfelt like this?”
“Promise you won’t get mad at me?” Vic asked. They didn’t have secrets between each other. Joe told him about his crushes and any problems he was having at home. It was mostly just typical stuff like arguing with his parents, growing pains, girls he got to second base with, and so on. On top of that, the experimenting they did together when Vic realized they weren’t straight. And that Joe definitely was.
“You know I won’t,” Joe said. “Does this have to do with the secret person you keep dodging my questions about?”
Vic gave him a small smile. Vic had talked to Tawson about it on Monday. Tawson wasn’t the most comfortable with someone else knowing about them, but Vic reassured him again and again that Joe wouldn’t tell. It wasn’t to convince him, to make Tawson change his mind, but to explain how close Vic and Joe were. That they had their own little bubble of secrets they kept for each other.
“Nearly two years,” Vic said. They were back to not looking Joe in the eye. The silence stretched on for longer than they thought it should. Thoughts were boiling up in the back of their mind, regret of saying it. “I’m sorry. I should have told you sooner.”
“Hey, no. None of that, Victor. Vic.” Joe tugged on their hand and they looked up to lock eyes. Joe was a dirty blonde with soft, brown eyes. He had a little bit of chub on his face, but it was hidden behind a five o’clock shadow. “I might be a straight, cis guy, but I am smart enough to know that these things aren’t on a deadline. You came out when you were ready. That’s all that matters.”
Joe seemed much too calm about the whole thing. Vic looked back up and saw Joe smiling. It wasn’t his reassuring smileor his I just learned something new smile. It was his I kind of already knew this information but I’m pretending smile.
“You knew?”
“What? No.” Joe answered too fast. Vic tilted their head, narrowing their eyes in suspicion. “Okay, so I really didn’t know. But I suspected that the skirt and tank top I saw in your closet last time I was here wasn’t from a woman you invited over. I was hoping to nab a clean shirt from you but saw that and just closed the closet door instead.”
“Of course,” Vic said. “But that doesn’t bother you? I mean, I’m still kind of coming to terms with it and I’m not ready to tell my family. It’s why I left the meeting. I was going to come out at the club, introduce myself as nonbinary, but William, Brett, and my sister were there.”
“Why don’t you want to tell them?” Joe asked. “Your family is, like, the most supportive group of people in the world.”
“I’m worried that they won’t understand or that my dad might look at me differently. He already doesn’t ask me to help much around the ranch. I don’t want to know how they’d react if they saw me wearing more feminine clothes or… other stuff.” Vic took a deep breath, wanting to get everything off their chest in one swoop. “Plus, I’m kind of sleeping around with the new professor living on the ranch and that’s already something that’s going to take them by surprise.”
Joe coughed, choking on air presumably. Vic rested their head back against the couch. Joe was turned sideways to face them but Vic was still sitting facing the TV. They turned their head to face their best friend. “You. Professor Lancaster. Together?”
“Yeah. I’m sorry I’ve been keeping so many secrets.”
“I’d say,” Joe said. His eyes were wide and he shook his headslightly. “I thought I was having a good start to the semester.”
“Believe me, it hasn’t been all sunshine and rainbows. There were tears, a lot of them. But Tawson is amazing. He’s really helped me. Actually was the one that started calling me Vic.”
“So, you two are serious? Like, not just casually sleeping together or anything like that?”
“I think it’s pretty serious,” Vic said. “We haven’t officially labeled it, but we spend as much time together as we can. Usually at his place on the weekends and he stayed here on Monday. Neither of us are ready to tell everyone though. But we have fun. He makes me laugh and we have serious conversations and discuss books. He’s funny, gentle, kind, everything.”
“I can see how that’s smart,” Joe said. “But I’m happy for you, Vic. I love you like my brother no matter what.”
Vic sighed, closing their eyes at the sound of that. An easy acceptance for something they’d been building up for years in their head. Vic felt the couch dip as Joe moved and arms wrapped around their shoulders tightly. Joe guided Vic’s head to his shoulder. They stayed like that for what felt like hours. Vic didn’t cry, but their body felt just as exhausted as if they had.
“How about we go lay down?” Joe asked. “I can pull a movie up on your laptop.”
