Xander leaned forward and kissed Wright’s forehead. He wasn’t expecting that. He closed his eyes for a moment before Xander pulled back and started talking. “First off, I don’t want you to ever feel like you can’t tell me something because you’re scared I’m going to react badly. I understand where you’re coming from, Wright, and I get it. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I haven’t actually had a drink since we met. With everything you told me, I figured being around someone that was drinking probably wouldn’t be good. Second, I might have one or two, but I’m not a big drinker. I don’t like having a hangover the next day so I don’t drink to get drunk. I spent my twenties doing that and I’ve gotten it out of my system. Finally, and you can ask Patrick and Tracy about this, but I’m a very, very loving guy when I get a good buzz. Super affectionate and cuddlier than usual.
“If we do have friends over, I might have one or two drinks with them. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to totally forget about you and ignore your healing progress. I’ll sleep in the guest room or something if you want me to. Or I’m sure Paxton would love to get y’all a hotel room for the night.”
“I appreciate it,” Wright said. “But I don’t want to spend a whole night away from you. I might make you shower if yousmell like alcohol, but I don’t want this to be a relationship built around you tip toeing around me until I’m no longer messed up. I want you to have fun too.”
“Believe me, baby, I’m having all the fun I need.” Xander smiled and Wright let out a long breath. He’d been going over in his head all the ways that conversation was going to go. Most of them involved Xander actually getting mad at him and accusing him of trying to control him. “And I’m proud of you for talking about it. You may not see it, Wright, but you are getting better. When you first got here, you barely spoke and kept to yourself those first few days. Now, I have to fight you and Paxton when you gang up on me.”
Xander moved closer, pressing their bodies together. He shifted down, leveling his lips against Wright’s ear. His hand traveled down Wright’s body, squeezing him in all the right places to make Wright consider trying for another round before they go to sleep. “Besides, I’m pretty sure you’re going to have a long night fighting off all those guys that want to dance with you. Just promise that at the end of the night when you’ve had your fun, I’m the one you come home to.”
Wright shivered at the growly nature of his voice. It was like his deep morning voice, but intentional so that southern accent was heavier. The way he said ‘home’ though. Wright was immediately on board with that.
“I’ll always come home to you as long as you want me.”
Chapter Seventeen
~ Xander ~
After their conversation about Wright’s fears, Xander spent most of the night thinking. He knew that healing and therapy was a process. He understood that Wright had a horrible upbringing, way different than his where he came out without fear to his whole family and dated a good bit in college. He understood where Wright was coming from about the drinking. He’d been around Patrick and even Tracy with a beer in their hands in the evenings and it didn’t seem to bother him. Or maybe it was because they poured them into glasses so he didn’t register it as alcohol. Either way, Xander’s late night thoughts had him wondering if it was scaring him because of how close they were. His dad was supposed to be someone he could trust, not be terrified of. Did he see Xander the same way? As someone that he trusts and he was scared that would be taken away with the addition of a couple drinks?
He talked to Wright when he woke up around nine, after caring for the horses. He’d been sleepy-eyed and cuddly, but they did talk. Really talk. Wright confirmed his fears about things changing if he drank and while Xander promised him that he would never hurt him, he knew he’d have to put it into practice. So, with Wright’s knowledge, he enjoyed a single beerwith his older brother on the porch after supper on Sunday night and then again on Wednesday. He wasn’t going to push it, but he did want to show Wright that he meant all the words he said. He brushed his teeth thoroughly and then kissed his boyfriend silly and snuggled up next to him each time. One beer did absolutely nothing to him, but he wanted to prove a point. They documented the moment on Wednesday with a photo for his therapist, figuring she’d want to see that progress on top of the rope stuff too.
By Thursday, Wright seemed more open to the idea. He even sat in Xander’s lap in the rocking chair while he sipped on his drink. It was set to rain all day Friday so they all pulled extra shifts to prepare for it with getting the horses bedded and ensuring the cattle’s shelters were intact and stocked. It was a long day and they had a late supper around eight-thirty. The rain was already in the air, clouds rolling in from the distance. Xander loved the rainy weather. The last storm they had was rough, but this one was supposed to be a single day thing and then pass over without much fuss.
Friday morning, as predicted, was wet. He could hear the rain hitting the tin roof above them. Wright was sleeping soundly next to him, his face squished into the pillow and his lips slightly open. He was so fucking adorable and every morning he watched him, Xander wondered how on earth he was lucky enough for him to come into his life. He was so close to saying those three words to him. The words had been repeating in his head all week, but he wasn’t sure if it was the right time. Too soon, he told himself. There was no way that Wright could love him back so soon.
He leaned down and kissed his head before getting up to start their breakfast. It was Paxton and Patrick’s turns to care for the horses this morning, so he could take his time. He’d still peekout and see if he could see anyone. It was already seven-thirty, so he was sure they were nearly done anyway.
He moved quietly through the house, aiming to stand outside for a minute. He flicked the coffee maker on his way, already prepped. Wright always made sure they had it ready to go. He suggested getting one with the timer so they would wake with the pot already brewed. Apparently he had that before coming to Family Ranch. The outside world was in a state of rest. The animals were up, he could see the barn door cracked and one of the horses was braving the misty rain. Everything smelt fresh, like only a good rain could do. It was one of his favorite smells.
Arms snaked around him and he jolted for only a second before relaxing and turning his head to the side to see Wright. It was a bit comical to see him hugging Xander’s frame from behind. His hair was rumpled, he seemed to be wearing just a large hoodie, bare legs on display for anyone to walk by and see, but his eyes were crinkled from a genuine smile. “Morning.”
“Good morning, beautiful.” Xander side stepped him so he could swap their positions. “You didn’t have to get up yet. Aren’t you still tired?”
“I’m good,” Wright said. “I wanted to enjoy as much time with you as I can before I’m dragged away tonight.”
“You’re going to have fun. Clark and William will keep you safe and I’m sure Paxton will provide more than enough entertainment.”
“I’ve never danced before,” Wright said. “I don’t know how it all works. I’ve seen movies and stuff, but it looks crowded and hot.”
“It’s definitely hot,” Xander muttered. He remembered the times he’d been to clubs when he was Wright’s age. He’d gone with friends at least twice a month while in school and he always had fun. Growing up in Texas, he wasn’t the only one that developed muscles working on a ranch and most of his friendshad no problem hooking up with girls. He wasn’t closeted by any means, but most of the guys that asked to dance with him were what society deemed twinks. Younger men with slight builds that looked good, but it wasn’t what he was interested in. Or at least, until now. His brow furrowed and he looked at Wright in a new light.
“What is that expression for?” Wright asked. He reached up and smoothed his thumb between Xander’s eyes.
“I just realized that you’re going to be hit on by a lot of older men. I’m assuming you’re going to a gay club. We definitely didn’t have those when I was younger. You’re like prime real estate for anyone with eyes.”
“Thank you?” Wright laughed and hugged Xander tightly. “But I can promise you that I won’t be interested in them. I’ll be thinking about you the entire time some random stranger is grinding up against me, sweaty, hands on my waist.”
“Okay, you better stop now. I know what you’re doing and it isn’t going to happen.”
Wright squirmed and Xander could see the smirk and glimmer of mischief in his eyes. “Maybe I’ll let them buy me drinks.”
“Non-alcoholic,” Xander warned. Wright nodded, his smile faltering for just a second. He wanted to kick himself for even mentioning it. Of course he wouldn’t be drinking. Not even because of his age.
“I wonder if I could find two guys and just sandwich between them,” Wright mused. “What do you think? I’m picturing two men, probably a couple, taller, broader, practically hiding my body from the world. Maybe they’re kissing each other while I let their bodies move against mine.”
“You are fucking wild,” Xander said. He nipped at Wright’s ear and buried his face into the side of his neck when he started giggling. “You’ve also been reading way too much because Iknow what book that scene came from. You are not allowed to sandwich between a couple, got it? They might think- Fuck, I’m going to have to have a full-on conversation with the others about keeping you safe, aren’t I?”
“You’re the one that pushed me to go,” Wright said. He tilted his head to give Xander more access to his neck. He wished he wasn’t wearing a hoodie, but all the same, he ground his hips against Wright’s backside. “Shit, Xander. Not out here.”
