“You are too stubborn for your own good,” Xander said. He opened the door to the bedroom and led Wright to the bed. It was made up, like no one had been laying in it the night before. Xander wasn’t sure if that was something he wanted to do or if it was drilled into him to keep things clean. He’d have to work on that, remind him that it was okay to leave a mess from time to time. “Are you still hurting?”
“A bit.” Wright lifted his good hand to rub against his opposite shoulder. He winced and Xander dropped to his knees to scoot between Wright’s knees. His hands found the hem of his shirt and lifted slowly, giving Wright time to protest. The bruises still looked fresh, hues of yellow, red, and purple mixing together. His finger glided gently across the discoloration, Wright’s sharp intake of breath giving him everything he needed to know.
“You’re in more than a bit of pain, Wright.” Xander made him stay still while he took his shirt off. He moved his arm as little as possible to slide it through the shirt. “Lay back so I can get your pants off. You need to stop pushing yourself so much. No one is expecting you to do anything until you’re healed. Andyou won’t heal completely if you keep ignoring the pain and me telling you so.”
“I’m sorry.” Xander was so focused on getting his pants down his legs that he didn’t realize how his voice had changed to mild irritation. Wright’s voice was watery, he almost choked on his words. When Xander looked up his nearly naked body, Wright’s head was turned away from him. His good hand was wiping against his cheek. “I just don’t like feeling like a burden.”
“Hey, hey.” Xander dropped the sweats and moved to sit on the bed next to him. He took Wright’s hand and squeezed it. He made sure to keep his voice soft again. “I’m sorry. I’m not frustrated with you. I just want you to be healthy and you not following the rules is keeping you from healing. I’m frustrated with myself mostly, that I can’t be right here with you the entire time.” Xander helped Wright sit back up and brushed his hair back from his face. His eye was healing a bit faster than the other bruises, but he still could barely open it. That in itself worried him if he was cooking or using a knife without him around. “I want you to get better and that means taking it easy and resting. How about I make you a deal? If you take this seriously and rest during the day, we’ll go for walks in the evening. I’ll show you around the ranch and we could pack some light foods and a blanket.”
“Like a picnic?” Wright looked from his lap to Xander’s eyes. His voice sounded hopeful. Xander smiled at him and nodded.
“Exactly like a picnic,” Xander said. “But only if you promise me that you’ll take it easy during the day. And you’ll let me help you with the things you need help with. I don’t want to think about you being in pain because you’re scared to ask me to help, okay?”
Wright leaned against Xander’s side and he wrapped his arm gently around his smaller frame. Wright’s head was resting against his shoulder. He couldn’t resist kissing the top ofhis head. He noticed white flecks in his hair, probably dried shampoo he couldn’t rinse properly out of his hair.
“Thank you for making me supper, though. It smelled great when I came in.”
“It’s not as good as Tracy cooks,” Wright mumbled.
“I bet it tastes just as good,” Xander said. “Can I ask you something and you really give it a good thought before you answer?”
Wright pulled back and looked at Xander. He had a tear stain running down his cheek and his swollen eye was wet around the edges too. He couldn’t wait until he was healed; he hated seeing him hurting. That constant reminder of what the asshole had done to him. “What is it?”
“I know you’ve been doing your best on your own, but will you let me help you with a shower?” He’d noticed a few times when Wright got out of the showers that he still had shampoo in his hair or he’d struggle to dry his back. Xander offered to help him towel dry his hair and would do his best to get the remaining soap out without Wright noticing. Wright had long since given up the pretense that he could get dressed on his own without hurting, although he always put his boxers on himself.
“I don’t know,” Wright said quietly.
Xander nodded. He wouldn’t push him for it. He promised him that he’d never make him do something he didn’t want to do. “If you change your mind, just let me know, okay? Are you going to be okay if I take a shower really quick?”
“I’ll be fine,” Wright said. “And thank you. For the offer, I mean. I promise I’ll do my best to rest up. I want to get better too.”
“And you will,” Xander said. He stood up and slipped out of his shirt. He’d been shirtless around Wright before, and most nights he slept in just a pair of pajama pants. He tossed the clothes into the hamper in the corner of his room. They’d haveto do laundry this weekend. “We’re going to get through this together, okay?”
Wright stood up and Xander was well aware of how different they were. Wright’s body was naturally slight with a slim waist. He told Xander about being the one to do the yard work growing up, which he was sure was where some of his muscles came from. Small muscles, but still there all the same. Xander could almost wrap his hand around his arm and touch his fingers. He could see his ribs. Xander had a smattering of hair across his chest and abdomen. It wasn’t thick, but enough. A trail led below his navel and disappeared past his jeans. He wasn’t ripped with abs, but keeping physical gave him a body he was proud of. Most of his muscles were in his arms and legs.
He moved his eyes away from Wright and turned to enter the bathroom. He turned the water on and stripped out of the rest of his clothes. The water felt great on his body after a long day. Patrick was right when he said the animals were acting strangely. Even the horses today were more antsy than usual. He reminded himself to check the weather report before bed.
He was soaping up his hair when there was a knock on the door. He slid the glass door open a few inches and stuck his head out to hear. “What’s up?”
“Can I come in?” Wright asked. He wasn’t sure which door he was standing at. His voice was just loud enough to hear.
“Of course,” Xander said. “If you need to use the bathroom, just don’t flush. I’ll get it when I’m done.”
The door leading to the hallway creaked open and Wright stood there, looking at Xander. He was still in only his briefs. Xander noted that his skin looked flush and he wasn’t sure what it was from. “Um, can I take you up on that offer? I put the dinner in the oven so it’ll stay warm.”
“Sure,” Xander said quickly. He wiped the shampoo out of his eyes. He needed to rinse it out. “Are you okay with me being naked?”
“Yeah, that’s fine.” Wright didn’t look at him when he said that. “Is it okay if I keep mine on?”
“Whatever you want,” Xander said. “Come in whenever you’re ready.”
Xander left the sliding door slightly ajar and turned toward the water to rinse his hair. His back was to the door when Wright joined him, but he heard the door slide open and closed again. He gave Wright a couple seconds to change his mind before he turned around to face him. His hands were hugging his stomach and he looked very uncomfortable.
“Hey, it’s okay.” Xander didn’t move closer to him and kept his voice even. The water wasn’t too hot, but enough that steam was rising around them. The glass doors separating the shower from the rest of the room didn’t reach to the ceiling, but it trapped enough of the warmth in. Wright’s back was nearly pressed against the opposite wall. He looked much smaller now. “You’re safe here.”
“I want to believe that,” Wright said. Xander stepped forward slightly just to keep the water on his back, so he could see Wright clearly. He closed his eyes and rested his head against the wall, looking toward the ceiling. “I just keep hearing his voice in the back of my mind any time I think of… something. I know it isn’t wrong, but the bruises and pain are a constant reminder of what happened last time I took a chance to be myself.”
“Let’s just focus on the shower,” Xander said.
