‘Okay. But I don’t mind – just because I’m paying you it doesn’t mean it can’t be fun for you as well.’
No sooner were the words out of her mouth than she realised what an idiotic thing that was to say. There was probably no way this was going to be fun for him. He was just doing a job: the sooner it was over and she was out of here, the happier he’d be. She bit her lip, cringing with embarrassment and wishing she could take the words back. It was obvious he didn’t find her remotely desirable. He didn’t even want her to touch his dick.
‘Well,’ she said abruptly, pushing away from him and sitting up. ‘I’d better go.’ She made an effort to sound bright and nonchalant, turning away and pretending to look around for her clothes while she blinked tears from her eyes. She was being ridiculous. This wasn’t a rejection. They had a business arrangement, not a real relationship. She had to remember that.
‘There’s no rush,’ he said. She felt him sit up beside her, but she didn’t turn around. ‘Is there?’
‘Um, I have to… I’m meeting someone,’ she said, her eyes raking the floor for her clothes. Her heart sank as she realised they were all on his side of the room. Damn! She pulled the duvet around herself, suddenly feeling very naked. ‘And I’m sure you have things to do too.’
‘No, not really.’ He yawned. ‘You’re welcome to stay as long as you like.’
‘Oh.’ She wished she’d known that earlier. She couldhave lain in his arms for longer, but it would seem silly now to get back into bed – besides, she’d already said she had somewhere else to be.
‘Are you okay?’ he asked, and she felt his warm hand on her shoulder.
‘Yes, I’m fine,’ she said, half turning to him and giving him a shaky smile. ‘Could you, um… give me my bra and… stuff.’
‘Sure.’ The bed sagged as he got up and she heard him moving around the room. The next thing she knew he was standing in front of her and she was eyeballing his crotch. ‘Here you go,’ he said, holding out her clothes to her.
‘Thanks,’ she mumbled, grabbing them from his hand, still not looking up. God, this was mortifying. Why had she ever thought it would work? She didn’t even know how to get out of bed and get dressed – it was hopeless! She stared at the clothes in her hand, still holding the duvet to her as she pondered how she could get dressed and out of there. Maybe she could shimmy them on under the bedclothes? Or make a quick dart for the bathroom? She really hadn’t thought this through at all.
‘You sure you’re okay?’ Luca asked, hunching down in front of her so he could look up into her face. ‘Do you want to take a shower or anything?’
‘No, I’ll… I’ll have one at home.’
He grabbed the duvet where she held it against her chest. ‘You do realise I’ve seen you naked already?’ he said, with a smile.
‘Yes, I know. I just?—’
‘You have nothing to be embarrassed about,’ he said, one finger gently stroking her cheek. ‘You have a gorgeous body.’
‘Thanks,’ she said flatly. The empty compliment made her feel even more foolish.
‘I mean it,’ he said sternly, as if he had read her thoughts. ‘Maybe one day you’ll let me paint you and you can see yourself as I see you.’
‘Look, you don’t have to say things like that to me just because I’m paying you,’ she said, irked that he thought she needed his cheesy lines. God, he must find her so pathetic! ‘Your job is to have sex with me, not to romance me.’
He sighed exasperatedly, releasing the duvet and standing up. He stepped away from her and leant back against the wall, his arms folded. ‘My job, as I understand it, is to turn you into a sex goddess.’ She looked up at him, startled by his anger. ‘But you’re never going to be a sensual, sexy woman if you don’tfeelit, if you don’t believe in yourself as a desirable person. Do you think this is sexy,’ he said, waving at her, ‘cowering there like a wounded dog, trying to figure out how to get dressed under the bedclothes?’
Her eyes widened.
‘Yes, I know what you were thinking. Do you think the girl who writes your blog would be shrinking under the duvet like a fucking outraged Victorian virgin?’
She flinched at the harshness of his words. ‘N-no.’ She was horrified to find tears welling up in her eyes. ‘I know I’m not sexy, but that’s why I need you to?—’
‘But youare!’ He groaned in frustration, pulling at his hair. ‘That’s what I keep trying to tell you. But I need you to meet me halfway.’ He sighed heavily, leaning his head against the wall. ‘We need to rethink this whole thing.’
She gasped. Was he dumping her already? Even though she was paying him? It was almost funny – she was so crap in bed, she couldn’t even get a guy to screw her for money. She couldn’t speak. It was taking all her concentration willing herself not to cry.
‘It’s not going to work if you’re just coming over here for lessons in techniques,’ Luca continued. ‘We need to have a more… holistic approach.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I can teach you how to give a blowjob or whatever, but that’s not going to turn you into the person you want to be. The technical stuff is only a tiny part of it. It’s mostly about turning you into a sexually confident woman, making you feel like the desirable person you really are. And to do that we’re going to have to ramp it up.’
‘So… how exactly do we do that?’ she asked, relieved that he didn’t appear to be quitting after all.
‘I think you should plan to stay over on nights when we have a lesson – at least some of the time. You can’t run off like a scalded cat the minute it’s over. Okay?’
