‘So you’re going to have to be whatever you said you were in your profile.’
‘Yeah.’
‘And you want my help?’ she said. ‘I’m flattered. So, tell me.’
‘Well… I gave the impression that I was really sort of… sexy.’ Claire blushed, feeling ridiculous.
‘Sexy? Is that all?’ Yvonne looked aghast.
‘Um… yeah. But I meanreallysexy, you know – really experienced and stuff.’
‘You mean a bit of a slapper?’
‘Not that. Just a nice girl who likes sex.’
‘Huh! Like the girl on that blog you’re obsessed with.’
‘Yes, exactly like her.’ Yvonne had often caught Claire reading ‘Scenes of a Sexual Nature’, but she had assumed she was just a devoted fan, not realising she was proofing her own posts.
‘Well, I don’t see why you need my help with that.’
‘Because… I need to seem sexy and sassy and sophisticated, and, well, I’m not.’
‘You are sexy! You just choose not to show it.’
Claire looked down at her drab, nondescript clothes. There was nothing remotely sexy or appealing about the way she dressed. She’d lost her way style-wise in recent years, and had pretty much given up bothering. ‘Well, anyway, I thought you might be able to help me.’
‘Because I’m a bit of a slapper?’
‘Of course not!’
‘Let’s face it,’ Yvonne said cheerfully. ‘Iama bit of a slapper.’
‘No, you’re not. You like men, that’s all. And sex. There’s nothing wrong with that.’
‘Well, this is going to be easy-peasy. I thought we were going to have to make you six foot tall or something. You just need a bit of a makeover.’
‘What would you have done if I did need to be six foot tall?’ Claire wondered.
‘I’d have thought of something. Anyway, don’t worry, we’ll sort you out. I take it this means we get to go shopping.’
Claire sighed. ‘Yes, it does. But I don’t have a huge amount to spend,’ she warned.
‘I can do sexy on a budget. I could do your makeup for you, if you like. When are you meeting this guy?’
‘Saturday night.’
‘Well, I could come round to yours – help you get ready.’
Claire could tell from the gleam in Yvonne’s eyes that she was already excited at the prospect of having her own life-size dress-up doll to play with. She didn’t know if she liked the idea of being Yvonne’s plaything, but she was being so kind, Claire didn’t have the heart to say no. Besides, she needed all the help she could get. ‘That wouldbe great – if you really don’t mind. I mean, you probably have better things to do on a Saturday night.’
‘I’d love to help. And I can get ready to go out myself at the same time.’
‘It’s not just about clothes and makeup, though. I need to learn how to act the part too – you know, be flirty.’
‘I can totally help with that. I’ll give you a crash course in seduction techniques.’
‘And dating protocol. I don’t know what guys expect these days – how far you should go on a first date, things like that.’
