Anyway – gossip. We were all at a friend’s birthday last week, including Mark’s ex, Sophie. (I don’t know if you follow her on Twitter – @Soph?). Anyway, she’s still carrying the most ginormous torch for Mark, but he’s with someone else now, and she came out all guns blazing, making it really obvious she wanted him back. And when Sophie wants something… well, let’s just say she’d give the Terminator a run for his money.
Anyway, long story short, things got a bit messy and she was all over Twitter the next day hinting that something had happened between them. Mark swears it didn’t. So it’s all very he said/she said. Sophie can play dirty, and I’m more inclined to believe Mark.
Luckily I don’t think Mark’s new girlfriend is on Twitter, so she may have missed the whole thing. Mark asked us to delete all the tweets relating to it – I obviously missed one. Oops!
So, that’s all the gossip. It’s probably nothing, and I shouldn’t even be telling you. But I guess it’s okay since you don’t know any of the people involved – except Mark, of course.
He tells me you’re going to stop writing the blog…
The rest of the email was publishing talk.
When she had finished reading it, Claire shut down her laptop and sank back against the pillow. So somethinghadhappened between Mark and Sophie at Patrick’s party – or maybe not. And Claire found she didn’t care either way. The numbness was back. She heard Luca going into the other bedroom, the door closing behind him with a soft click. She turned off the light and settled down.
33
Claire slept late, and woke feeling relaxed and refreshed. Luca still wasn’t up at noon when she sat outside with toast and coffee. She was pleased he was getting lots of sleep – he needed it. She was also glad of the quiet and solitude to mull things over in her head and sort out her feelings. She knew she should have been distraught or at least unnerved by Emma’s email last night. She ought to have been fretting about what might have happened between Mark and Sophie. But instead she just felt a wonderful sense of freedom that she didn’t really mind. She wasn’t in love with Mark, and she knew now that sleeping with him wouldn’t change that. The utter indifference she felt at the idea that he and Sophie might have got together again said it all. The feeling just wasn’t there, and she could no longer fool herself that it would come in time.
Luca, on the other hand, only had totalkto another girl to bring out the green-eyed monster in her. It was a real shame because Mark was the one who wanted to have a real relationship with her. But there was no point in denying it any more, at least not to herself – she lovedLuca, and she’d rather be his fuck buddy, if that was all that was on offer, than have something more meaningful with anyone else.
It was almost one when Luca finally emerged, yawning and blinking in the sunlight, but bright-eyed and looking rested.
‘Good morning,’ he said, sliding onto the bench beside her. ‘Or should I say afternoon?’
‘I take it you slept well?’ She suddenly felt shy and awkward, hoping he wouldn’t say anything about her attempt to seduce him last night.
‘Yeah, brilliant. You?’
‘Yes, great.’ She was relieved that he was his usual friendly, easy-going self.
‘I could get used to this,’ he said, turning his face to the sun and closing his eyes.
‘Me too. I wish—’ She caught herself. She had been about to say that she wished they could stay here like this for ever, just the two of them. But she couldn’t say things like that to Luca – it would scare him off.
‘What?’ He opened his eyes and turned to her.
‘Oh, nothing. I wish I didn’t have to go back to work tomorrow. There’s coffee in the pot…’
They spent the afternoon on the beach, swimming, reading and lazing in the sun. Since her mother had died, Claire had found that some days were better than others, and today she was engulfed by one of those waves of sadness that left her feeling submerged and remote from the world, rendering her catatonic. Everything – the sound of the waves, the roughness of the sand against her skin, even the smell of the air – evoked other times, and she was swamped by memories of her mother, remembering all thetimes she had come here as a child with her brothers, and later, when it was just Espie and her, the wonderfully indulgent weekends they’d had there together. The long days playing on the beach; the nights when their caravan had become Party Central, Espie inviting all their neighbours over for barbecues that went on long into the night. They were happy memories, yet they hit her like punches, leaving her weak and aching, longing to have her mother back, just for an hour – or even five minutes…
Luca seemed to pick up on her subdued mood, and she was grateful for his sympathetic, undemanding presence beside her while she let the heat of the sun and the gentle crash of the waves soothe her.
She felt her spirits lift towards evening, and she was almost happy later as they sat side by side at the picnic table, eating pasta and garlic bread, and drinking red wine warmed by the sun. If she wasn’t quite blissful, she was at least content.
‘Feeling better?’ Luca asked her.
‘Yeah, thanks. Sorry I wasn’t great company today.’
‘Don’t be daft.’
‘So – home tomorrow.’ She sighed as she poured more wine.
‘Yeah, and just when the book’s getting exciting,’ Luca said. ‘I mean, there was practically a car chase. I can’t believe Lydia ran off with Wickham!’
Claire was enjoying watching him discoverPride and Prejudicefor the first time. It was so familiar to her that it was hard to imagine anything in it coming as a surprise.
‘And now she’s ruined. It’s a bit harsh, isn’t it?’
‘Yeah, poor Lydia. But that’s the way it was in those days. Once a girl had sex, she was ruined for life.’Like me, she thought wryly.Being with Luca has pretty much ruined me for anyone else.
