‘Thank you.’
She took his hand and they walked upstairs to her bedroom. It seemed to take Claire for ever to get undressed and into her pyjamas. Her limbs felt leaden and uncoordinated, as if she was drunk. Luca stripped down to his boxers and climbed into bed beside her, pulling her into his arms and rubbing her back soothingly until she fell asleep.
She woke early the next morning, and left Luca to sleep while she showered and dressed. Her head was already buzzing with all the things that needed to be done that day. She didn’t bother with breakfast, unable to decide whether she was hungry or not. She was having a cup of tea when her brothers and their wives arrived. Ronan and Neil were red-eyed, Michelle and Liz pale and drawn. No one looked like they’d had much sleep. Michelle gave Claire an awkward hug, which felt weird because Claire didn’t think they’d ever hugged before.
Liz made tea and they all sat around the kitchen table to plan the funeral, making lists of what needed to be done. All the while, Claire kept expecting her mother to stick her head around the door and ask if they wanted a cup of tea or a piece of cake warm from the oven. She was jolted every time it hit her anew that Espie was gone.
‘I suppose Jim and that lot will want to play the music,’ Neil said, when they were discussing the finer points of the funeral.
‘Oh, I never thought of that!’ Claire said. ‘But, yes, I suppose they will. It’d be nice.’
‘As long as that mad old bat with the fiddle isn’t involved.’
‘Mary?’ Claire said. ‘If the others are playing, Mary has to join in. That’s what Mum would have wanted.’
‘I doubt it,’ Neil argued. ‘Mum wasn’t tone deaf.’
‘That’s not the point. She loved Mary. She always let her play. You know Mum – she wouldn’t want anyone left out.’
‘Well, on your head be it.’
‘Hello.’ Everyone looked round as Luca came into the kitchen. There were a lot of raised eyebrows and furtive glances, all eyes shifting curiously from him to Claire.
‘You remember Luca,’ she said.
‘Good morning,’ he said to everyone, then crossed to Claire. ‘You should have woken me up,’ he said quietly, dropping a kiss on top of her head.
‘No need. Help yourself to anything you want for breakfast.’ She smiled weakly up at him.
He went over to the worktop and flicked the switch on the kettle. ‘Does anyone want toast?’
‘No, thanks,’ Michelle said. ‘We had breakfast at home.’ Liz, Neil and Ronan declined too.
‘Claire?’ Luca looked to her. ‘Toast? Scrambled eggs?’
‘No, thanks. I don’t want anything.’
‘He’s making himself at home, isn’t he?’ Michelle muttered, eyeing Luca suspiciously as he busied himself with the toaster.
Claire said nothing. She didn’t feel like justifying his presence in the house to anyone.
‘I thought I’d say a few words,’ Michelle piped up. ‘At the funeral – you know, a eulogy.’
‘Really?’ Even Neil was aghast at this announcement.
‘Yeah. I’d like to talk about Espie – what sort of person she was, what she meant to us all.’
‘Are you sure?’ Liz asked her. ‘You and Espie didn’t exactly see eye to eye, did you?’
‘Oh, I’m not denying we had our moments,’ Michelle said, with a tinkling laugh. ‘But sparks are bound to fly when two strong women are pushed together. We were very fond of each other, really.’
‘You were?’ Ronan frowned.
‘Of course! You know, I don’t think Espie reallygotme until the children were born. But she started to appreciate me after that, when she saw what a good mother I was. She was always telling me how much she admired my parenting skills. I think she was a little bit envious, if I’m honest, because she didn’t think she was a great motherherself. And she often said she wished she’d kept a record of the minutiae of her kids’ lives like I have in my column.’
Claire gritted her teeth and said nothing.
‘I have lots of ideas already,’ Michelle said.
