‘What about us?’
‘Will I ever see you again? Will we still be friends?’
‘Yeah, of course,’ he said immediately, and she sagged with relief. ‘I mean, if you want to be?’
‘I do.’ She nodded eagerly. She couldn’t imagine not having him in her life now.
‘Me too.’ He sank back against the sofa and blew out a breath. ‘So, this is it?’
‘Yeah.’
‘I’m going to miss this,’ he said, waving his hand between the two of them.
‘Me too.’
He reached for her and pulled her into his lap so she was straddling him.
‘So, what do you say?’ he asked mischievously, as he trailed a warm hand underneath her skirt. ‘One last undress rehearsal?’
They didn’t have any dinner in the end, instead spending all the time they had together making love. Claire knew she was kissing Luca more passionately, clinging to him more fiercely than ever before, sucking his cock like it was the last time – because it was. He seemed more intense, too, kissing her frantically, pushing into her faster and harder than he ever had before, touching her everywhere as if he were trying to memorise every inch of her skin. He went down on her for so long that she thought she was in danger of forgetting his face. It had been the most intense, exhilarating, satisfying sex of her life.
So why did she feel so deflated as she travelled home later that night in a taxi? What had she been expecting? Some display of jealousy? Luca begging her not to go? It wasn’t as if he hadn’t been clear from the start about what their relationship was – and what it wasn’t. He had told her right from the beginning that she wasn’t to think of him as a boyfriend, so she could hardly expect him to declaire undying love for her and beg her to stay. But, still, she couldn’t help feeling rattled by how cool he had been about it all – the ease with which he could watch her move on to another man. Maybe she’d fallen a little bit for Luca’s easy charm. But the kind of casual, no-strings arrangement that was all he could handle would never be enough for her. He was wrong for her and she had always known that. With Mark she could have a proper grown-up relationship and the kind of life she wanted. She was probably just feeling wobbly about taking it to the next level.
It was a pity Luca didn’t want to be in a relationship because she thought he would be better at it than he gave himself credit for. But he didn’t, so he would go back to his old ways, and she would go to London next weekend and sleep with Mark. There was nothing stopping her – certainly not Luca.
27
On Friday evening Mark took Claire to the same village bistro they had gone to last time. The restaurant was buzzing, and her niggling doubts melted away as they chatted over the delicious food and wine. He was wearing a casual lightweight suit and a beautiful dove-grey shirt, and she was struck anew by how handsome he was. She found herself starting to wonder what he would look like naked, and felt a little shiver of excitement at the thought of finding out tomorrow night – or maybe even tonight, if she decided to break her own rule. The idea of sleeping with him didn’t faze her. She had no worries about disappointing him in bed, and she was suddenly overcome by a feeling of well-being, as if everything was as it should be. Luca was right. It would be like riding a different bike.
‘When are you off to New York?’ Claire asked.
‘Next Friday. A friend’s getting married there so a few of us are going over and staying on for a few days after.’
‘That should be lovely.’
‘I wish you could come. I don’t suppose there’s anychance…?’ He looked at her hopefully. ‘I know it’s short notice.’
‘No,’ she said, with a wistful sigh. ‘I wish I could.’ She hadn’t had a proper holiday in ages, so she could probably have afforded it. But she couldn’t leave her mother just now. ‘I’d love to go to New York.’
‘You’ve never been?’
‘No.’
‘Oh, you have to go. Let’s go together! I mean not now, obviously, but we should plan it.’
‘That would be great.’ Claire felt excited already at the idea of going to New York with him, even if it was just a vague, far-off prospect.
‘We’re invited to a dinner party with some friends tomorrow night, if you’d like to go?’ he said.
‘That’d be lovely.’ She smiled across at him. ‘I’d really like to meet your friends.’ She was touched that Mark was so ready to make her part of his life.
‘Emma will be there, so there’ll be someone you already know.’
‘Oh.’ Emma was Mark’s colleague – Claire knew her on Twitter as @Locksie. ‘But she won’t know it’s me. I mean, you haven’t told her, have you?’
‘No! She won’t have a clue. But at least you’ll know who she is.’
‘It’ll be nice to meet her in real life, even if I can’t reveal my true identity.’ Claire laughed. ‘God, now I know how Superman and Spiderman and that lot must feel.’
