“Did I hurt you?” he asked.
She was feeling a lot of things, but pain wasn’t one of them. All she could manage as a response was a quick shake of her head.
A slight smile tugged at his lips. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”
“No.” Her reply was soft to hide the slight twinge of disappointment she felt. “Is…is that it?”
His grin widened, causing his dimples to deepen. “You dissing my skills again?”
“No, I was…I was just expecting more.”
“There’s more.”
With one thrust she realized how much more. He withdrew so slowly she felt every inch of him drag out of her before he pushed back in again. Pleasure shot through her like a bolt of lightning. She buried her free hand in his hair, bringing his lips down to hers. He groaned, pushing into her slow and hard. It only took a few minutes before she was so lost in ecstasy she couldn’t kiss him anymore.
He grasped her thigh, lifting it higher around his waist so he could hit that sweet spot deep inside her. In and out. And in and out. His lips dragged across hers with every up and down thrust. His sweat-dampened chest glided against her breasts, the tags of his chain lightly scraping the underside of her chin. She was panting, inhaling his exhales until she didn’t know whose air she was breathing. She felt herself nearing the edge again and this time when she tipped over, it was more intense, more powerful.
“Oh, God…Kevin…”
A few seconds later, his hand tightened over hers as he reached his own orgasm. He dropped his forehead against hers. He was trembling. It might have been her. She couldn’t distinguish between their bodies at that moment.
He stayed on top of her until they felt somewhat normal again, his lips and tongue lazily tracing along the side of her neck. After a long while, he lifted off her and she felt a strange emptiness as he slowly pulled out of her. “Give me a second.”
He walked to the bathroom to dispose of the condom and she stretched out her numb legs before getting under the covers. When he returned, he pulled on his boxers before he shifted one single bed next to the other and climbed in beside her. It was a little weird because she didn’t know if they should cuddle or hold, so instead she simply stared up at the ceiling.
“I didn’t know sex was like that,” she said.
“It’s not.” He tugged her arm until she moved her head onto his chest and then he wrapped his arm around her. “It’s just like that with you.”
She smiled, lightly caressing her fingers across his skin. He placed his hand over hers and she felt his breathing begin to slow. It may have been because of the constant fighting, or him not sleeping at all last night, or even the emotionally draining afternoon, but he fell asleep within minutes and she was alone with her thoughts. Maybe this had started out because they’d both needed comfort, but it didn’t end that way. This was so much more. One of her objectives for this road trip was to have a few one-night stands, meaningless sex. It was supposed to be mechanical, but what happened between them was anything but. He made it mean something, something she wasn’t entirely sure she would be able to let go of at the end of this road trip.
November, 25
Amarillo, Texas
Kevin woke up in an empty bed. He’d never woken up with Jasmin in the room because she always snuck out at the crack of dawn to workout. Today was no different, but the sound of running water told him that she was already back and in the shower. He moved to sit on the edge of the bed and dropped his head into his hands.
Last night they went past the point of no return. This was exactly the type of complications he’d been trying to avoid. He didn’t know what the next step should be, which path he should choose. He’d never been that vulnerable around anyone before. Perry’s death was a loss he’d carried by himself for three months. He’d told her the things that hurt him to the depths of his soul and now he felt completely exposed. His first instinct was to close up and shield himself from her. But he didn’t know if he could do that again.
He cared about her too much, and if anything, last night had solidified that even more. He still had his doubts. The guilt and pain hadn’t eased because of one night, but it felt so good to let it go for a while. Just a little. Just so that he didn’t feel it every single second. Being around Jasmin did that. She didn’t take it away, but she made him forget. He just had to keep reminding himself that this was temporary. It would end soon and he would go back to being miserable, but until then there was no reason to keep hurting her.
She walked out of the bathroom and completely avoided eye contact when she saw him. She was feeling as vulnerable as he was. They were definitely in this together.
“So I was thinking that we could have breakfast at the Little Texan,” she began nervously, “and if we get on the road early enough, we could still do some sightseeing in Oklahoma. It won’t be too dark by the time we get there and…”
She was rambling on about nonsense and he realized that she was giving him a choice to opt out, treat it like a one-night stand if he wanted. But that wasn’t what he wanted.
“Are we gonna pretend last night didn’t happen?” he cut in.
She froze for a moment. “Last night was sort of…unexpected and I’m not sure what to make of it. We were both in a weird place and…that’s not us. We don’t like…emotions and we don’t cry. We’re them big dick motherfuckers…well, at least I am. Yours is just kinda…average.”
He chuckled, shaking his head. He’d missed this. “That joke’s a little offensive now that you’ve…actually seen it.”
She gave half a smile, her eyes darting to his boxers, and when she noticed that he caught her doing it, she flushed and immediately looked away. “My point is that if it was about comfort for you—”
“It wasn’t.”
“Or…if you maybe got caught up in the moment…and one thing led to another…If you regret it…or if you didn’t really want to do it…”
