He hadn’t meant it as a compliment, merely stating a fact, yet she took it as one. She smiled, dropping her head to hide her reddened cheeks. He should have used the opportunity to end the conversation, but instead he reached over the small space between their beds and lifted her chin until their eyes met.
“And just for the record, what you’ve done…what you’re going to do…it’s about the coolest damn thing I’ve ever heard.”
“Thank you.”
Her shy smile stretched wider and he had to resist the urge to run his thumb over her lips. This was exactly why boundaries were needed. He was dying to kiss her…just one more time. Surely, one more kiss couldn’t be that bad. But he reminded himself that he wouldn’t be able to stop at one kiss.
She was staring at him with the same expectant hesitance, both of them trying to figure out what they wanted to do with that moment. His choice was the one that led to less complications.
He dropped his hand and reached for his phone. “You wanna get pizza again?”
She waited before she responded, as if she was testing to see if he’d reconsider his decision. “Actually, Connie packed dinner for both of us,” she said eventually. “She thought you could use a home-cooked meal too.”
When she was sure that the moment couldn’t be rekindled, she slipped back into normal conversation, telling him all about her day with Connie and Beth.
They ate and she had a quick catch-up with her cousins over a video chat. It was amazing how good they were getting at pretending these moments didn’t happen. But they were happening and, no matter how many boundaries he tried to put in place, he still felt powerless to stop it. He was restless, edgy. So close to the edge that one little thing could tip scale either way.
Bob:So that just fizzled and died. Not his best performance. He must be having an off day…or maybe it’s just what I’ve been saying this whole time. He’s not as bad as we thought he was. I have to be honest, though. I’m not sure if I should be proud or disappointed with what happened here tonight. What do you think, Dan?
Dan:I wouldn’t be proud if I were you. I wouldn’t be disappointed either. He’s bound to make a comeback. You see, he wants this girl and right now he’s trying to convince himself of all the reasons why he can’t have her. It’s bugging him, Bob. And I think what we just witnessed…was the calm before the storm.
November, 20
Gallup, New Mexico
It almost felt like a wasted day, but Jasmin still had fun nevertheless. They’d barely been on the road for two hours before they’d stumbled upon Gallup. It wasn’t a scheduled stop, yet the quaintness of it had begged her to explore. There was so much culture in this small town. One of the locals she’d met at the gift shop recommended that she go to the Native American dance show and the Gallup Cultural Centre and that pretty much took up the rest of the afternoon.
Kevin, the buzz-kill, hadn’t been happy about another unexpected delay, but he’d relented quite easily. And because it was too late to get back on the road, he’d suggested they close off thewastedafternoon by doing some much needed laundry. The continuous drop in temperature meant that she was running out of clothes faster, so she hadn’t argued.
He was in a strange mood today. Actually, he’d been in a strange mood since the day he’d kissed her, constantly blowing hot and cold. Brash and snappy one minute, playful and joking the next. She didn’t let it trouble her too much. He was moody and she’d given up on wishing for consistency.
Though, the fact that she accepted his moodiness didn’t mean she wasn’t confused by it. It seemed like she was caught amidst a fishing game with him. He’d toss her out and then reel her back in again. Crude remarks and then sweet words of encouragement. Shouting and then tenderness. He’d shut her out and then there were those brief moments when it looked like he wanted to let her in. She wanted that. She wanted his trust and his friendship…maybe even something more.
It was a ludicrous thought. Her head kept telling her that it was impossible to like someone she knew nothing about. And she really didn’t know anything about him. Foods and movie preferences, yes. A little about his family, but not much. There was no concrete reason why she was feeling this way. All of herlikewas based on fleeting glimpses she saw of the person hidden behind the walls. The guy who sat outside the restroom for almost an hour. The guy who unstrapped her shoes when she was drunk and watchedFrozenwith his nieces. That guy was hidden behind a thick layer of asshole, yet that didn’t stop her from feeling the way she did. Add to that the tingles every time he touched her and…God help her.
He looked at her differently since they’d kissed and it made her body react differently. She felt…hot. All the time. Not flustered. Hot. She hadn’t known it was possible to fantasize about a person while being in their presence, yet now she was doing just that. She wanted him to kiss her again, touch her. Secretly she obsessed about how his hands would feel caressing her body and she was driving herself crazy trying not to think about it, but being with him twenty-four-seven made that impossible. Then there was also that penis-groping from the other night that led to a whole array of very…naughty thoughts. Hormones really were a bad thing.
She took out another stick of beef jerky from the packet in her hand and forced herself to chew on it. It was awful stuff, but she was missing South African food and this was the closest thing to biltong she could find.
“So I was thinking,” she said, sitting down on the wooden bench beside him. “We should stay at the South Star in Albuquerque. It has an indoor pool for you. You seem to be taking longer and longer in the shower, which means you have some sort of swimmer’s withdrawal thing going on.”
A puzzled expression crossed his face. “How do you know I’m a swimmer?”
“The same way I know everything else about you. I figured it out. That rocking hot body of yours is from cardio not weights, you’re anti-social which means you’d choose a sport that doesn’t involve other people and you love water. Do you see how easy it is?”
“And it must besoooeasy for you. You’re agenius.” He reached over and took a stick of jerky too, flashing her a sarcastic smirk as he did so.
She couldn’t understand why he was still upset about that. He’d been dropping comments like that all day when she thought it had been sorted out yesterday. It was almost like he was trying to make it an issue and she wasn’t going to get sucked into another argument, so she simply ignored the comment altogether. “And we need to go shopping. I’m running out of shampoo and body lotion. And I need to stock up on my pill.”
That immediately got his full attention. “Are you sick?”
“No, it’s my birth control pills. My period is kinda sporadic, so the doctor put me on the pill to regulate my cycle.”
He shut his eyes, shaking his head as if trying to get her words out of his head. “I don’t know why I asked. Why do I do that to myself? It’s gonna traumatize me forever.” He took a few seconds to collect himself before he looked over at her. “I think I’m gonna go Will Smith on you and institute a box like what he did in Bad Boys 2.” He used both hands to outline a square. “And in this box we’re gonna put in everything that we—and when I say we, I mean you—are not allowed to talk about for the rest of the trip. So your—”
“What color is the box?”
“It’s…it doesn’t matter.”
