“I think that’s a relative term. My nieces are adorable. Thatthingis disgusting! And this is just my own personal rule, but anything with compound eyes doesn’t feature on my cute radar.”
“I don’t know why you’re freaking out. He’s more scared of you than you are of him.”
He cringed, watching how she let it crawl all over her hands. “I hate it when people say that. Did you see him screaming like a girl and running into the bathroom? No, Jasmin. That was me. Now can you get it out of here?”
She seemed too smitten with its grotesqueness to focus on his request. “He’s a giant crab spider, Olios Giganteus. They’re native to Arizona. He’s not poisonous, so you don’t have to worry.”
She went on to give him an entire biology lesson about its habitat, what it ate and even how it mated. Kevin found it fascinating how she could sound so smart while doing something so stupid.
She was completely captivated as she watched its thick, hairy legs hook over two of her fingers. “He really is a beautiful specimen, isn’t he?”
“Aw, Jazz. How touching, and I really hate to be the one to ruin this sentimental moment with common sense, but…there’s a motherfucking SPIDER in your hand!”
She walked closer to the bathroom and he had to fight the urge to slam the door shut again. “Do you want to touch it?”
“No! Get it away from me!”
“Grouch!”
She disappeared for a good few minutes. Saying goodbye was probably heart-wrenching for her. He only came out of the bathroom when he saw her return empty handed.
“Are you happy now?” she asked, glaring at him like he was the bad one. “Scared of a defenseless, little spider.”
“It wasn’t little.” He didn’t know why it was necessary to point that out to her again. It was called aGiantcrab spider. There was a reason for that. “And yes, I was scared. I’m man enough to admit it. Your problem is that you’re too naïve to sense danger. You see me, on the other hand, I know how to not get dead, and I do that by avoiding big-ass fucking spiders.”
“Pansy!” She smiled and his lips tilted up in return.
“You wanna order pizza tonight?” he asked. “I could use some comfort food.”
“Yeah.”
She unpacked her toiletries while he made the call to place the order. It was a rather uneventful evening. The sockets sparked every time they plugged something in, so no movies tonight, and the electrical issues became a real problem when the temperature started to drop. The lack of heat didn’t bother him, but Jasmin was a shivering mess.
Her teeth chattered as she ate her pizza, and a hot shower after dinner didn’t seem to help her either. The complaints hadnot stopped and Kevin was a tad irritable when they finally decided to call it a night.
Her bed was only a few feet away from his, which made it impossible to drown out every annoying sound she made. The knocking of her teeth. The constant shuffling of the sheets as she tossed and turned. He was exhausted and he just wanted some peace and quiet.
“Jasmin, can you please settle down and go to sleep?”
“I’m trying.”
She was still for all of two minutes and then the shuffling started again.
“It’s really not that cold.”
“It’s freezing, Kevin.”
More tossing. More turning. More complaints.
“Fuck, Jasmin. Go. To. Sleep!”
“My toes are frozen and my fingers are blue. I can’t even feel them.”
“If you can’t sleep, at least stop moving and stop talking. Just lay there quietly.”
She pulled the covers over her head, but he could still hear her muffled moans of distress. “I can feel my heart rate slowing down. I’m already starting shrivel.”
“Shut up.”
