“Maybe they were depressed,” Clayton offered, “and she was justspreadingher little ray of Hope. That is living up to her name.” His expression drooped with fake sadness. “You know…I think I’m feeling a little depressed too.”
Kevin sharply turned to face him. “Really, Clay? You’d have sex with my ex-girlfriend?”
“Kev, from the looks of it, everyone’s had sex with your ex-girlfriend. I’m starting to feel left out.”
Perry burst out laughing. “You’re such a dick!”
It wasn’t a joke. Clayton was a dick and he would make a move on Hope, because he was a whore like that, but at least he was honest. Kevin liked that about him.
“Hope is sex-crazed,” Kevin said. “I know this for a fact, and honestly, there is nothing wrong with a woman having a healthy sex drive. I love women who love sex and I don’t care how many guys she’s been with. All I’m asking is that if said woman is in a relationship with me, can I be theonlyone she’s having sex with? I just want a good, faithful girl that I can take home to my mom. Is that too much to ask?”
Rose returned to the table and placed a sundae in front of Shandré, a milkshake in front of Clayton, and a bowl of vanilla ice cream in front of Kevin and Perry. She handed Perry a bottle of chocolate sauce and left. Perry squeezed out almost a quarter of the bottle over his ice-cream and then handed it to Kevin.
“I don’t know how you guys eat that stuff,” Clayton said, looking a little repulsed. “Why not just have chocolate ice cream?”
“Clayton,” Perry began, “there are only three things in this world that you canneverhave too much of. The love of your momma.”
“Chocolate sauce on ice cream,” Kevin added.
“Andfaton a woman’s ass!” they finished together.
Perry threw an arm over Kevin’s shoulder and gave him a reassuring smile. “And don’t you worry. One day you’re gonna meet a girl with an ass so fine, you gonna wanna keep tappin’ it. Forget about Hope.”
Kevin shrugged. “Well, so far I can’t seem to last more than a month with a girl. I’m starting to think it’s me.”
“It is you,” Shandré quipped, tossing her long braids over her shoulder.
Kevin was intrigued by this and leaned forward. “All right. As the only one at this table with a vagina, give me some insight to the female mind.”
“Kev, you get bored so easily and even if a girl can keep your interest for longer than a week, you never open up. You shut everyone out. It’s just about sex for you, but a woman wants to feel like the man is equally invested in the relationship emotionally.”
“I don’t shut people out. I’m actually a very caring guy.”
Clayton snorted at his response and she actually laughed. “As soon as someone gets too close, you turn into an asshole. I saw it with Melissa. I saw it with Christy. You do it to everyone except Perry.”
“Which is why I really think we should make those rumors about us true,” Perry said, leaning closer like he was about to kiss him.
Kevin snickered, pushing his face away, and then turned back to Shandré. “Well, thank you for that advice. It was very enlightening. I now completely understand why my girlfriend fucked five guys behind my back.”
She shook her head. “See? You just proved my point. That’s exactly the type of asshole I’m talking about.”
“You’re right, Shan,” Clayton said with a nod. “Don’t even waste your time talking to him. There’s no…Hopefor him.”
“I agree. He’s absolutelyHopeless.”
Kevin laughed and rolled his eyes. “Fuck off! The both of you.”
He’d meant it as a joke, but Shandré stood up and exchanged a look with Perry. He nodded and she tugged Clayton’s shirt. “C’mon, let’s go get a round of Cokes for everyone.”
Clayton didn’t know them well enough to pick up anything weird, but Kevin saw right through it. Perry wanted some time alone with him.
“What’s up?” Kevin asked once they’d left.
“So it’s your birthday…and I got you something.”
“Sentimental shit again, Perry?”
“Of course. It’s me.” He took two small boxes out of his pocket and placed it on the table, but only slid one across to Kevin.
