Agitation pressed his lips into a tight line. “What you think of me is an opinion, not a fact. A fact is me telling you that you’re fucking crazy! And seriously annoying.”
“There you go with that grumpiness again,” she shot back. “It’s such a shame. That face is wasted on you.”
“Are you done?” He was already standing. “Can we leave?”
Despite the fact that he wasreallypissed off, he still met her outside her room and carried her bags to the car. He packed everything into the boot, got into the passenger seat, and slammed the door shut.
“Are you still mad?” she asked as she started the car.
He turned to face her and his angry eyes were boring holes into her. “Seatbelt,” was the only thing he said before facing the window again.
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
She strapped on her seatbelt, switched on the GPS, and headed towards the road. They sat in silence for about twenty minutes and it started becoming unbearable. The very reason why she’d wanted a companion was because she hadn’t wanted to suffer like this. His head was against the window and his eyes were closed, but his breathing wasn’t deep enough for her to believe he was actually sleeping.
“You awake?” she asked.
“No.”
“You wanna talk?”
“No.”
“I have a ton of music on my USB. I can put on a few songs and we can sing along like they do in the movies. It is a road trip after all.”
“It’s a fuck no from me for that one.”
They fell back into silence and it was so, soooooooo boring. “Hey, Kevin.”
He didn’t answer.
“You wanna play a game?” She waited a few seconds and when he still didn’t answer, she decided to respond for him. She cleared her throat and put on her best male voice, trying to make it as low as possible to mimic him. “Yeah, sure, Jasmin. That’s a swell idea.”
He didn’t move or open his eyes, but he spoke then. “I would never use the word swell.”
In her normal voice, she said, “How about I-spy?” Fake male voice. “That’s a dumb game!” Normal voice. “Gosh, Kevin, you are so grumpy.” Fake male voice. “I’m not grumpy.” Normal voice. “You kinda are.” Fake male voice. “I’m super-hot so it’s okay. And it’s not grumpiness, it’s my dark and mysterious charm.” Normal voice. “No, that’s just plain grumpy.” Fake male voice. “Yeah, I guess. You know what I think it is? I think I’m just intimidated by you because of your gigantic shlong.”
He chimed in again. “I sure as fuck would never use the word shlong. And you either have penis envy, or a severe identity crisis.”
She ignored the real Kevin and carried on talking to the fake one. He was much more fun. “Just because mine is huge and yours is just kinda…average, that’s no reason to be intimidated, Kevin.” Fake male voice. “I don’t believe you, Jasmin. There is no way someone could be so spectacularly awesomeandhave a big shlong.” Normal voice. “Well, believe it. It’s big, Son. It’s massive. I’m talking extraordinarily massive…like a rapper. I don’t wanna brag or nothin’, but on windy days I gotta strap it down to my ankle so that it doesn’t fly up and hit someone in the face.”
He finally opened his powdery blue eyes and looked at her, seemingly more amused than he was this morning when shewas hanging on the door handle. His jaw twitched, but he didn’t smile.
“Come on, Kevin. You can do it.” She reached over and gently pinched his cheek. “You’re so close. Just smile.”
There was a flicker of a smirk and for a second—only a second—she saw someone who might actually be likeable. It disappeared just as fast and then he took her hand off his face and placed it back on the steering wheel.
“Hands on the wheel. Eyes on the road.”
And that was the end of that. He closed his eyes again, rested his head against the window, and remained quiet for the rest of the trip.
She didn’t bother him. Instead, she plugged in her USB and sang along with all the songs she knew. She took in the landscape as they passed through Idaho. Just like Montana, it had that serene kind of beauty. God had made it so tranquil in its wide, open splendor that this road was the only urban convenience man had dared to taint it with.
She drove for almost five hours and it was just before one o’ clock when she finally stopped. Her ass and stiff legs were most grateful to have reached their destination.
“We’re here,” she announced chirpily.
Kevin stretched and rubbed his eyes lazily. “Are we stopping for lunch?”
