They drove to a motel a few miles outside of town and they spoke all night, exchanging stories about what happened over the last few days. He told her about Momma B and Clayton. She told him she’d patched things up with her father and the whole sordid past of her mother. Repairing broken relationships seemed to be a primary focus for them and it gave him hope that theirs could be saved too. He told her what happened with Claireand she told him the truth about Dalton. Although it grinded his nerves raw, he accepted it as a consequence of his actions.
When they climbed into bed, he decided it was time to finally open the box. Inside it he found a Ken doll, which he assumed represented Dean, and a rubber spider. Sitting up against the headboard, he took out a keychain that had a small plastic penis attached to it.
“What’s this?” he asked.
“That’s the actual size of your penis,” she replied with a giggle. “The theoretical size of mine couldn’t fit in the box.”
He laughed and continued sifting through it. He saw a snowflake similar to the ones they’d hung up on the Christmas tree, a CD of Michael Bolton’s greatest hits. There were some other trinkets that he didn’t pay much attention to. What intrigued him was a piece of paper right at the bottom of the box. It was her list of objectives for the road trip and there was a tick next to number six: No matter what, no regrets.
Just below it, she wrote a message for him:
Dear Kevin
You were the rock during my storm. Strong enough to hold me up. Heavy enough to bring me down. You are a paradox, a walking contradiction to everything I thought I knew. You taught me that falling for someone means I have to abandon all reason because what I feel for you defies logic.
We are both imperfect, but it is within those imperfections that we found a way to understand each other. You saw all my flaws and accepted me in spite of them. I see everything good and bad in you and love you regardless. You gave me a lifetime worth of memories in just one month and I will carry them with me foreverto remind me that once upon a time I met a boy who changed my life.
This box is my way of giving you the same thing, a collection of all our moments of imperfect bliss.
Same gift, different package.
He folded the piece of paper and after placing it back in the box, he looked down at her. “So you were gonna leave this on my doorstep and disappear?”
“I just wanted you to know how I feel…and it was my way of letting go.”
He was glad that he’d chased after her, because reading that after she left would have killed him. “I should’ve called you. I wanted to every day, but I just…” He threw his head back, frustrated that he still seemed to be making the wrong choices. “I should’ve called.” He scooted down until he was lying next to her and pulled her into his arms. “I’ve made a royal mess of this, but I’ll do it right this time.We’lldo it right this time.”
“We will,” she assured him.
She snuggled up against his chest and he gently ran his hand through her short hair. It wasn’t the same. He couldn’t even twirl it around his fingers anymore.
“I can’t believe you butchered it,” he complained.
“Oh, get over it. It will grow back.”
“Your hair was your only saving grace. Now you look exactly like a twelve-year old boy.”
She pressed her body against his and he held back a groan. “Well, you must have some sick kind of fetish, because this twelve-year old boy got your dick on H again, Kevin.”
He couldn’t deny it, so he simply smiled. He wanted to reclaim every part of her. His hands were itching to slide beneath her shirt and he had to bite his lip to stop his mouth from wreaking havoc on her body. But he couldn’t do anythingbecause they’d agreed to just be friends. Yeah, sharing a bed with her was really not a good idea.
She obviously noticed because a naughty giggle escaped her. “God, you are dying to fuck me right now.”
“With my penis,” he confirmed with a nod.
Her giggles turned into outright laughter and that brought the laughter out of him too. He pulled her closer and kissed her forehead. “I really do love you, Jasmin.”
“I know. It doesn’t take a genius to figure that out.”
“Tomorrow…can you not wake up at the crack of dawn? I just wanna know what it feels like to wake up next to you.”
She smiled. “Okay.”
She held onto him and her eyes began to drift closed. This felt different to how it had been on the road trip. She was going to leave the next day and yet it didn’t feel like so many of their last days together. In fact, it felt like their first.
December, 26
Great Falls, Montana
