Although the woman put on her friendliest smile, she must have seen something on his face because wariness showed in her eyes. “Sure.”
He reached into his pocket and took out the dog-tag chain that was identical to the one he wore. “Just hold this.”
He didn’t seem to realize that he was holding on so tight and it took a few tugs from Ariel before he finally loosened his grip. It was over in a matter of seconds. He took the picture on his phone, yanked the chain out of her hand, and started walking towards the exit. Jasmin scampered after him as he ploughed through the masses to get out of there as fast as possible.
When they reached the parking lot again, she noticed that he wasn’t heading towards the car and she grabbed his arm to stop him.
“Kevin, slow down. Tell me where you’re going.”
He kept his eyes on the ground when he answered. “I need…I need to get out of here. You go. Just leave me here. I’ll find a way—”
“I told you I’m not leaving you here.”
“Fuck, Jasmin! Just go!”
She grabbed both his hands and squeezed them tightly. “Do you realize you didn’t even take your bags out of the car? You’re not thinking straight and I’m not gonna leave you like this. So calm down and tell me where you want to go. I’ll take youwherever you want. You want to get on a bus, I’ll drop you off at the station. Anywhere you want, Kevin, but I’m not going to leave you stranded, okay?”
He was silent for a long time, weighing all his options and he still didn’t look up when he answered. “Can we find a quiet beach somewhere?”
She let out the breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding, feeling equally worried and relieved at the same time. “Okay.”
*****
Kevin felt like his entire body was losing functionality as Jasmin slowed down the car and pulled over on the side of the road. It wasn’t easy to find a secluded beach and eventually she had stopped at a gas station to ask one of the locals. They’d driven for over an hour and a half in silence to get to this beach and as he looked out the window, he could see that it wasn’t deserted, but quiet enough for him to say his final goodbye to Perry.
“Pop the trunk,” he said softly as he opened the door.
“Kevin, you don’t—”
He already knew this was going to be an argument about her not leaving him in the middle of nowhere and he immediately cut her off. “Jasmin, I already told you that this is something I need to do alone. You shouldn’t be here and I want you to leave.”
He got out of the car and walked to the back. She met him there and opened the trunk for him to get out his duffel bags.
After a loaded breath, she closed the trunk and turned to him, but he kept his eyes on the ground.
“Can I…at least call you…sometime?” she asked.
“I-I deleted my number from your phone last night.”
That statement shocked her because she was quiet for a few beats. She tilted her head to the right and then the left, tryingto get him to make eye contact, but he continued to stare at the ground.
“We agreed…that nothing would come after this road trip. You’re flying back to Chicago after Christmas. You’re starting a new job, a new life. There’s no point in dragging any of this out. Let’s just cut ties and end it here.”
“Is that really what you want?”
No, that wasn’t what he wanted, but that’s how it needed to be. “Yes.”
“Why won’t you look at me when you say that?”
“Because I can’t.”
He wasn’t lying. He couldn’t look at her. His eyes were begging for mercy. They had seen too much already. They had seen Clayton’s broken, mangled legs. They had seen Perry fly through the windshield. They had seen the look of desperation when Perry asked him to search for Shandré and then they’d seen his best friend draw in his last breath. After all his eyes had seen, Kevin couldn’t put them through the added torture of watching her walk away.
His eyes weren’t the only body part malfunctioning at that moment. He wanted to kiss her goodbye, but if he did, he knew his lips wouldn’t be able to stop. He wanted to hold her, but he knew his arms would probably never let her go. He just needed to keep himself cold, keep himself together because if she didn’t leave soon, he was going to have a breakdown.
“Just go, Jasmin…Go and don’t look back.”
She didn’t argue this time. Lifting herself onto her toes, she held his face and placed a long kiss on his cheek. He shut his eyes and took in a deep breath, inhaling her strawberry scent one more time, memorizing the feel of her lips on his skin.
