“Nay.” Like a sudden awakening, reason returned, and she shoved hard against him, propelling herself out of his arms more than forcing him to move. “Ye may be me husband, but ye willnae convince me that ye arenae responsible for me kin’s deaths by bein’ a flirt! I want to go back to the keep, right now.”
Alexander’s eyes darkened with something indecipherable. “As ye wish.”
She suddenly wanted to cry and scream in frustration all at once. Confused by the myriad of emotions rising inside her, she turned back toward the healer’s hut, gathering her skirt so she wouldn’t trip.
She ran back to where the bay horse awaited them and hugged its neck, taking comfort in its warmth. She rubbed circles on his broad back, the feel of its mane beneath her palm comforting.
It didn’t take long for Alexander to catch up to her. Though he had walked up the hill slowly, giving her a brief moment to collect herself before they had to endure the short ride back to the keep.
“Thank ye for waitin’ for me and nae makin’ me walk back to the keep on foot, wife,” he muttered as he lifted her onto the stallion, before swinging himself up into the saddle behind her.
They were halfway to the castle when she finally broke the awkward silence. The question was digging a hole in her mind so hard that she had to ask it.
“How did ye ken that boy?” she inquired hesitantly. “Ye kenned his name.”
“Torin? Of course, I ken him. I’m the Laird of the keep. It’s me responsibility to ken me charges. Each one of them is important to me. Without them, there would be nay need for me.”
The conviction in his voice surprised her.
He truly cares for his clansmen. Perhaps he isnae such a brute, after all.
The realization touched her heart. She liked the fact that he had a sense of loyalty to his kin and clansmen alike.
Sadly, she could not say the same about her father. That was why Alexander surprised her. It was strange to her that such a beast of a man would know each of his clansmen.
Ever since she had the idea to wed Alexander Gordon, to sacrifice her freedom for the sake of her people, she had thought that it would be a great undertaking. That her life would be miserable from that day on.
As it turned out, it wasn’t even half the sacrifice she had anticipated.
She didn’t ask anything else, sitting as straight as she could in front of him, determined to keep as much distance between them as possible and her heart closed off.
CHAPTER NINE
Alexander guided the big bay straight to the stables when they arrived back at the keep. The courtyard was busy as the inhabitants went about their daily business.
He dismounted and reached for Helena to help her down without a word. For a brief moment, he thought she may break the silence. Instead, she opened and closed her mouth several times, then turned away from him and headed toward the main hall.
He watched her go, her long dark hair glistening under the midday sun. He waited until she disappeared inside before he turned back and took the horse into the stables. Dozens of thoughts assaulted his mind all at once.
She had enjoyed their kiss; he had kissed enough lasses to recognize the signs. The way she had melted against him, the way her breathing had quickened, the way her fingers dug into his flesh.
All this hot and cold friction between them wasn’t helping his self-restraint. In fact, he was fully aware that it was growing weaker. He was in dire straits and needed a release.
If ye had taken the lass to bed and consummated yer marriage like ye should have done, ye wouldnae be in such a state now, would ye?
His mind continued to wander until they headed to bed.
Lately, he had taken to watching her sleep. Her soft, feminine breaths soothed him as he watched the rise and fall of the swell of her breasts. He fell asleep staring at the enchanting way her hair fell around her like an ethereal crown.
He woke up the next morning and headed to the stables. The lass was still sleeping, as she was much his opposite; she would snuff out the candles and wake up well after sunrise. He wondered if it was not an attempt to avoid him as best as she could.
The bay drew him out of his thoughts, nudging him impatiently. Lost in his daydream, Alexander had yet to remove the horse’s bridle so that he could eat his hay.
“Aye, I ken, I ken. Ye’re dyin’ of hunger, are ye nae?” he said affectionately.
Alexander unbuckled the throatlatch of the bridle and slipped it over the horse’s ears. He was careful not to clank his teeth withthe metal bit, attempting to guide it out of his mouth while the horse spat it out, eager to resume his munching.
The horse had been a gift from his father and was one of the constant warm reminders of all their years together.
