“And you let the ton believe that you killed her.”
“I did.”
She shook her head. “I was right, Alaric. About everything – you are not a monster. Just as you are not a killer.”
He stiffened. “But I am –”
“No,” she spoke over him. This time, when she took him by the face, and he tried to pull back, she refused to release him. She held strong, turning his head so their eyes met. She looked right at him, through him it felt like. She was angry. She was determined. She was unyielding in her belief, and that gave Alaric strength… if only a little. “Do you remember the first night I met you? Do you?”
“Of course.”
“So, you remember what it was that I needed – why I sat down beside you?” She raised an eyebrow at him.
He winced and tried to look away, but she would not let him. “You… you needed someone to save you. But I told you, I am not –”
“Which you did,” she pressed on him. “You saved me from Lord Ayles. Just as you saved me from my father. You might not have wanted to. Dammit, you did everything to try to avoid such a thing. But in the end, you did as only you could do, Alaric…” Her eyes began to water. “You saved me. And again today –”
“You were almost killed because of me!”
“But yousavedme!” she cried. “Just as you saved Helena, do not dare blame yourself for her death. Do not act as if you killed her when you know deep down in your heart that is a lie. It is a lie because you are not a killer, Alaric…” Her voice was pleading, and he could see it in her eyes as much as he could hear it. “You are a hero, whether you want to be or not.”
“I am not…”
“I am going to give you an option,” she continued, still holding him by the head. “If you wish it, I will go. If you truly think that I will be better off, I will leave here and never come back. If you honestly think that my staying with you will be a danger to me, then I will not try to change your mind.” She bit into her lip, her stare increasing. “But if there is even a part of you that loves me…”
“Of course there is,” he said softly.
“Then prove it,” she said, a smile now taking her lips and filling her face. “Prove that you do. I need saving right now, Alaric. Just as I did on that first day. I need a hero, and I see one right before me. I just wish that he could see it too.”
Alaric didn’t know what to say.
But I love her. And she loves me. Is that enough? Can my love protect her as she needs…
He forced himself to look at her. He held her eyes as he searched her for an answer. He had come here because he wanted to tell her the truth. That was done now, and still she wanted to be with him. Was that not the point? Was he not for once giving her the decision to make?
“I… I…” He struggled to say what he felt.
“Say it,” she urged him.
For so long, Alaric had lived alone with his guilt. He had become used to it. He had learned to accept it because he thought that was all he deserved. But Clara had changed that in him. She, like no one else, saw another side of him and brought it to life. She gave him a reason to live.Can I let that go? Can I live with myself if I do?
“I… I don’t want to hurt you,” he said softly.
“You never could.”
“All I want is for you to be safe.”
“I am safest with you.”
“I…” He hesitated further, the words right there, struggling to be free from his tongue. “I do love you, Clara. You must know that.”
“As I love you…” She was smiling now, tears beginning to stand in her eyes. “And where I need saving, so do you, Alaric. Let me save you as you saved me.”
He broke then. It came on suddenly. The walls he had spent his life erecting. The shell that he lived in. The determination to never let himself feel or want or love again… it shattered as a glass dropped from the highest tower, spilling forth all the emotions he’d kept pent up for so long.
But he did not cry. He did not weep and withdraw into himself. Rather, he bloomed, and a smile took his face because, for once, the path before him was clear. For once, there was no confusion. For once, he knew what he had to do.
And so, he did it.
