His stomach knotted with guilt and shame, and he walked across the room, looking out the window next, where he spied the garden. It was still a work in progress, but numerous flowerbeds had been planted, grass had been laid, and dozens of hedges were piled together, not yet planted in the ground, but ready to be set so they might one day grow into beautiful things. It was… harder to look at than it should have been. Not that Alaric needed to guess why.
I should never have sent her away. At the very least, I should have given her the option. She needed to hear the truth from my own lips so that she might understand the situation herself and then come to her own decision. But I was a coward.
He found that he was missing her. Her presence in the castle. When he supped the previous evening, Alaric had found his appetite diminished, for he had grown used to her seated at the end of the table. Even though they rarely spoke, just having her there had brought a warmth into the room that he had not known was missing until it was gone.
The justification that he had done the right thing was becoming harder and harder to swallow. Despite everything, Alaric did not want to turn his back and forget his wife, as he thought he must. Where once he had coveted his isolation, he now loathed it. Clara had changed everything, and Alaric was only just now starting to realize it.Too little too late…
He stormed from the music room, desperate to forget. But there would be no forgetting, and this was one mistake he could not run from. It had been just two days since Clara had left, but it felt like months; time stretched to its breaking point so that Alaric was just about ready to break with it.
It was thus that he realized what he had to do.
If he were being honest with himself, he might have said that he’d always known this was the path he should have taken. His cowardice had forced him in the wrong direction, but his feelings for Clara were such that he had no choice but to redirect and dothe right thing for a damn change! It might still end in tragedy, yet it would be a tragedy on Clara’s terms, and that was what mattered.
With this in mind, Alaric left his castle at pace, saddled his horse, and then rode from the estate with a sense of determination so compelling that he knew for once he was doing the right thing.
It was time he spoke with his uncle again. And then, once he learned of where Clara had been sent, he would go to her, he would tell her everything, and whatever she decided from there, he would accept.And if she still chooses to leave me… at least then I will have nobody to blame but myself.
“Lord Wolfe is not at home, Your Grace,” the footman informed him a short while later.
“Do you know when he will be back?”
“I am afraid I do not, Your Grace.”
Alaric clicked his tongue with frustration. “Did he tell you where he went, at least? So I might go to him?”
The servant hesitated… “I am afraid he did not, Your Grace.”
It was clear to Alaric that the footman was lying through his teeth, and he might just have pushed the issue and forced theanswer out of him. The way the poor man was shaking with nerves suggested a weak constitution, and there were few who could say no to Alaric when he was in this sort of mood.
“Alaric, I will thank you not to terrify my staff.” He turned to spy his uncle gently reining his horse down the drive and toward him. “I did not expect to see you here.”
Alaric waved to his uncle and started down the steps, meeting him as he pulled his mount up before the manor. “I did not expect to be here,” he admitted. “I must speak to you.”
His uncle frowned down at him, very likely sensing what it was that Alaric was here to ask him. “Is that so?”
“Might we speak in private?”
“Here will do just fine.” His uncle climbed down from his horse, at which point a stable hand hurried from the side of the house to collect the reins. His uncle handed the reins off and dusted his hands, then started toward the manor. “I take it that this unexpected visit is to do with your dear wife?”
“I wish to see her,” Alaric said at once. “Ineedto see her.”
His uncle paused at the base of the steps, and Alaric wished he could see his face so he might surmise what the man was thinking. It was no secret that he wished for this marriage to end and was likely beyond pleased with the way everything had gone. There were times when Alaric cared about the man’s opinionenough that he would allow it to influence him. But times had changed, as had Alaric.
“Are you sure that is such a good idea?” His uncle turned, his expression soft, even concerned.I doubt he feels anything of the like for me, as empathy was never my uncle’s strong suit.
“Perhaps,” Alaric said. “Perhaps not. But the answer is the same. I need to see her.”
“To what end?”
“That is between my wife and me,” Alaric said with a bite. His uncle was sure to do everything he could to deny him, and Alaric had to do the same to see this through.I cannot leave here until I get what I came for, and where my uncle will do what he must to convince me… he is not my father, nor is his word law. I must remember that.
“Is it?” Still, his expression was soft and laced with worry. “Alaric, speaking to her will do you no good. You do remember why you asked me to speak to her in your place, yes? For her own safety, as well as yours.”
Alaric grimaced. “I was wrong to do that. Just as I was wrong about so many things. Clara deserves to hear the truth from me – she deserves to look me in the eyes and decide for herself how she feels. If she hears what I have to say and still decides that leaving is in her best interests, I will honor that. But she is the one who must make the decision, not I.”
“And what truth is that?” his uncle asked. “That you killed your wife?”
“That is not…” Alaric’s jaw tightened as he heard those words spoken so simply and matter-of-factly; it still undid him. “That is not entirely accurate.”
