And that…that isn’t something I ever thought of. But I am now.
“What about you, Birdie?” Arlo, who has been silent through this entire conversation, asks me the one question I don’t know if I can answer.
The truth is, bit by bit, this town healed all of my mental wounds, stitching me back together seamlessly. All that shall remain of years of hurt will be nothing more than a thin silver scar.
Yet in that moment, I know exactly what I want for Christmas. “I want…” I blow out a nervous breath as all eyes stray to me, anticipating what I have to say. “To experience Wonderland. At first, I didn’t get it. I got here before the town put up lights. Then over the weeks, I watched them piece together something that I know won’t just be magical, but life changing. I kept thinking that at some point, one of them would flip a switch and turn the lights on, but not one of you did, and that…that is a level of self-control I didn’t know existed.” I nod to myself with a half-smile. “I want the experience,” I whisper.
I throw back my eggnog, not feeling alone, and yet experiencing something so much bigger that I can’t quite put my finger on it. Not yet, at least.
Needing air, I push up and head to the front door. No one stops me, and I’m thankful for that. There’s only so much self-therapy a person can take before they combust into a thousand little pieces.
I slide my feet into my boots, put my coat on, and step onto the porch. Crisp air teases my nose as the floorboards creak under my feet and I rest in the rocker. Cooper is sprawled out in the lone sliver of sun that refuses to fade into twilight.
Off in the distance, I hear the town. Laughter echoes back to me through the almost bare trees, and I close my eyes, envisioning life. Here.
With Lark and Arlo.
It might be too soon to listen to wedding bells, but now that I’ve removed all the grit from my mind, I can see the world as it should be. It’s full of hope and second chances and love.
Knowing now what this little town puts into the holiday and why they make such a big deal out of Wonderland is an emotional roller coaster. I don’t want to just ride it, I want to operate it.
I didn’t know just how much I wanted to be a part of something wholesome and amazing, where I could grow as a person and Lark would have such an incredible childhood. She will grow up here, seeing what it truly means to give, and that is a gift worth giving.
“Hey.” Arlo’s soft voice strokes my soul, and without opening my eyes, I reach out to him. His fingers twine with mine as the chair beside mine creaks, and there we sit, our fingers interwoven, just enjoying each other’s presence.
“Thank you,” I whisper, finally opening my eyes and looking at the man who turned my world upside down, all because of one conniving little skunk.
“For what?”
“You told me weeks ago that this town would suck me in with its magic,” I murmur, snuggling deeper into my coat.
“I did,” he says with a hint of insecurity.
“You forgot to mention one little thing.” I give him a half-smile, rolling my head along the back of the rocker.
“I rarely forget anything,” he replies, throwing my words back at me from weeks ago.
“You, darling, forgot to mention that it isn’t the town that’s magical, but the people.” I squeeze his hand, mimicking the emotions constricting my heart.
“I thought that was implied,” he teases while rubbing his thumb across my knuckles.
“No, I don’t think it was, though you told me I had to experience Wonderland for myself to understand it.”
“It is an experience.” He stares at me, his baby blue eyes shining with so much affection that I almost turn away.
I don’t. I stare right back at him with everything I feel in this moment.
“One to remember.”
“Thank you.” Arlo’s voice is almost so low, I have to strain to hear him, but before I can ask him why, he tells me. “For staying.”
I nod because there isn’t much I can say. A part of me always knew from the moment I stepped foot here that I wouldn’t be leaving.
Wonderland is but a few days away, and for the first time in my life, I’m looking forward to something so much that I just might burst.
Or maybe that’s just Autumn’s eggnog.
CHAPTER 30
