“I, uh, I’m really not sure this is a good time for this conversation,” Dex said weakly, his eyes dropping to the bed.
“The doctor said I’m cleared for it,” I said firmly. “That’s why they spent the afternoon trying to jumpstart my noggin, remember?” I stretched my arm out and extended my hand. “Come sit with me?”
Dex blew out a slow, controlled breath but didn’t move toward my hand and I wavered, considering for the first time that just becauseIwanted Dex didn’t mean thatDexwanted me.
“It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way,” I said, trying to keep my voice level. “We can just be friends. I didn’t mean to pressure you.”
“You’re not.” Dex shook his head and when he looked up, his eyes were shiny with tears. “It’s just..” He heaved a sigh that clearly carried some heavy emotions. “When you remember, you’ll change your mind. I, um, I’m not strong enough to go through that right now.”
“I’ll change my mind about us being friends?” I could hear the doubt in my voice as I lowered my hand. “Dex, that doesn’t make sense. I’ll always be your friend.”
“About loving me,” Dex clarified. “We, um, we’ve been spending some time together, but it wasn’t going well. That, um, that was what the fight was about.”
“Not going well how?” Dex was still standing several feet from the bed and his distress was souring his spicy sweet scent. “Baby, will you come snuggle with me? I think the contact would help, if you don’t mind.”
“Oh, of course.” Dex set the book he was carrying on the seat of the chair by the door and dropped his small canvas bag next to it.
He hesitated when I pulled the covers back but went ahead with stripping down to his shirt and boxers before crawling in beside me. Reaching over, I wrapped my arm around his waist and dragged him closer to my side.
“That’s better,” I sighed, pressing my nose against his neck to steal a quick whiff of his skin. “Now, would you please tell me what happened between us? I promise not to get mad but it’s incredibly frustrating having these big holes in my memory, especially when I know they’re hiding something that hurt you and I can’t make up for it.”
Dex sighed another of those heavy sighs and pushed against the light blanket. “Yeah. Let me go sit in the chair.”
I tightened my arm around his waist. “No, can’t do that,” I disagreed. “It’ll be easier on both of us if we’re touching. Please?”
Dex drew in a deep breath but stayed where he was, sitting stiffly against me as he started to speak.
I listened in a kind of fascinated horror as Dexlaid out all the ways I let him down since being released from prison. Oh, Dex was careful to tell the story from the point of view that made him sound the worst -pushy, demanding, greedy, selfish, you name it- but as he talked, little bits of memories flashed back into place. Just like the doctorhoped, the holes began to fill in, and I was beyond appalled at my own selfish, asshole behavior. When Dex finally finished speaking, his voice was barely over a whisper and he'd had to dash tears from his eyes several times.
“Oh, baby. I am so sorry that I’ve put you through that,” I said sincerely, pressing a soft kiss to his tear-stained cheek. “I can promise you that I do love you, even though I haven’t done a very good job of showing it.”
I kept Dex tight against my side until he shuddered and relaxed against me. I rubbed his back with my palm and considered everything he’d shared. Something was bothering me. There wasn’t any mention of the baby until several minutes into the telling.
I drew in a deep breath and brushed another kiss on his cheek before taking the plunge. “Dex, love, the baby is mine, isn’t it?”
“It..I..” Dex floundered for a long moment and collapsed back against the pillows in a faint.
“Good job, fuck head,” I hissed under my breath as I shifted him to reach the nurse call button. “This is exactly why you can’t have nice things.”
ChapterTwenty-Four
Dex
Otto knew. He fuckingknewthat he was the baby’s sire, buthow?
There was a cool, wet cloth on my forehead and a vaguely familiar female voice was speaking softly while gentle fingers pressed to my wrist, checking my pulse I assumed.
“Dexter? Can you hear me?” Paula’s words were close to my ear.
I managed to nod.
“There he is!” she said enthusiastically, plucking the cloth off my head as I opened my eyes. “Barely out for a minute. You feeling okay?”
I nodded again and sucked in a breath to respond. “I’m fine,” I managed to croak. “Probably just over tired, you know?”
Paula clucked sympathetically and slipped an arm behind me, urging me to sit up. Once I was situated to her satisfaction, she pressed a small plastic cup of juice into my hand. “Of course, dear. Your vital signs are all good, but let’s have you drink some apple juice to help get your blood sugar up, hm?”
I obediently swallowed the juice down and managed to return her smile when I handed the cup back. “Thank you.”
