“How in the hell did that give you the idea that I was pregnant? You know we use precautions.”
Another shrug.
“Why the hell didn’t you talk to me? Is that what all that bullshit about milk and warm turkey sandwiches was about?”
“I thought maybe you didn’t know yet,” I admitted. “At first, anyway, and I was trying to take care of you until you did. But then you went to the doctor, so I was sure you did know but had just decided not to tell me.”
“Do you have any idea how gross warm deli meat is?” Shelly demanded. “So fucking gross!”
I blew out a breath. “Pregnant people aren’t supposed to eat deli meats without warming it because it can carry listeria,” I tried to explain. “I was just trying to protect you.”
I dropped my eyes back to the ground in front of me at Shelly’s frustrated growl. Then held my breath when he stalked over and dropped into the chair across from my seat on the couch.
“And the sex?”
My head popped back up. “What sex?”
“Exactly,” Shelly replied dryly. “We haven’t had sex at all since I was grabbed.”
Oh.
“I, um, wasn’t sure how safe it would be for the baby, with you being human.”
I forced myself not to break the fraught silence that dragged out between us, giving Shelly time to process. After several minutes, he exhaled sharply and when he spoke, his voice was gentler.
“Why didn’t you just ask me, Dane?”
That was an excellent question, wasn’t it? I took a minute to collect my thoughts and try to find the right words. “You know I was married and have adult kids.”
“I do.”
“Well, we’d been together several years when I had the accident that injured my leg. That was when she filed for divorce and to have the claim dissolved.” I snuck another glance at Shelly but he just looked confused. “She said a disabled Alpha wasn’t worth being bonded to.”
Shelly was still silent but now he looked angry.
“We’ve never talked about having kids or what our future looks like, so once I got it in my head that you were carrying and didn’t want me to know..” I trailed off and shrugged. “I tried to show you that I could take care of you, that I could co-parent with you, but you seemed to just pull away more. Then I realized you might not want to tie yourself to an old man, even as a co-parent. And once you didn’t even want to sleep with me, I assumed you were breaking things off.”
“Well, you certainly did succeed in the making an ass of yourself part,” Shelly grumbled and I almost smiled.
“Yeah, I guess I did. I’m sorry for the entire stupid mess, Shelly.”
He sighed. “I know you are but I don’t know where we go from here.”
“I get it.”
Shelly stood and grabbed his phone from the arm of the chair and stuffed it into his back pocket. “I need to get some air.” He stopped at the door and raised a brow at me. “You’re not following me?” Disbelief was threaded in his tone.
“No.” I held in a sigh and forced back the damn beast that had perked up like it had been meant as an invitation. “I know I’ve been overstepping in a big way,” I said quietly. “It was never out of a desire to make you feel helpless. Or unwanted.”
Shelly stayed by the door, staring at the wall like the answer to our problems was written in the texture there. “Okay. I’ll be back later.”
I sat and waited until the room was dark. Then, when only a faint light from the rising moon filtered in from the windows and Shelly still hadn’t returned, I shuffled off to bed.
Forty-One
Mitchel
I walked to the greenspace where we took Bear to shift and sank to the ground under the mostly bare branches of a maple tree, staring at our kitchen window as I considered Dane’s words. And remembered both Jackson and Clark encouraging me to talk to Dane and that I’d childishly balked at the suggestion of having an adult conversation and refused to have it. And admitted to myself that I was the reason Dane and I hadn’t talked about our future; every time he mentioned anything even close to plans more than a few months away, I rushed to change the subject.
