“I’m sorry,” I started to apologize but Ari interrupted me.
“No,” he said firmly. “You don’t have anything to apologize for.” Ari reached for my hand, threading our fingers together. “Can I touch you?”
Like there was anything I could refuse him. I nodded.
Ari smiled and squeezed my hand. “Thank you.”
He started down the short hallway, pulling me along with him. I dug my feet in when we reached the door and I could see the bed beyond it.
“Ari, I’m not sure this is a good idea.”
“I just want us to be touching,” he argued, jutting his chin up defiantly. “I won’t press you for more than that, I promise.”
Press me for more, I thought to myself, stifling a snort of laughter. Like it would be a trial for me to have him again, for us to be one.
“It’s not that,” I started to explain, losing track of my train of thought when Ari began to strip his clothes off, leaving him deliciously naked in front of me, his erection pressed firmly against his slightly rounded stomach before I could remember what I was trying to say. “Oh, Gods.”
My hand was on his belly before I even realized I’d reached for him and Ari groaned, moving closer, pressing our bodies together and trapping my hand between us. We held each other for several long moments and despite the desire thrumming through my body, I was perfectly content until he took a step back and offered me a sheepish grin.
“I think we should get the talking part done before I forget I wasn’t planning on molesting you,” he said with a teasing note in his voice, tugging me toward the bed and crawling on without releasing my hand, forcing me to either pull away or cuddle up behind him. No decision to make there.
Ari waited until I was laying down to wiggle back against me, groaning again when he pressed his butt back, lodging my hard cock between his plump cheeks and pulling my hand over to rest on his tummy.
Then he started to talk.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Ari
Being back in Roger’s arms, surrounded by his scent was absolute heaven. The safe, protected feeling I’d experienced when he was perched up on the bluff was a hundred times stronger with him pressed skin to skin against me and as he settled in behind me in the bed, I wondered briefly why I hadn’t noticed it before when we were together.
The same as always, being close to Roger had my hormones flaring, my body begging for him to own me, master me, to make me lose myself in the pleasure of coupling, but I was determined to ignore it until after I’d said everything I needed to.
Roger followed my lead, exactly as he had since our first time, something I’d learned was unusual behavior for an Alpha. He held me quietly, stroking my belly lovingly as I talked, not interrupting as I explained everything I’d learned in our time apart. When I was finished, I ended by offering a heartfelt apology for having hurt him and there was the slightest stuttering in his breath and a very slight wetness where his face was buried against my neck.
“You don’t owe me an apology,” Roger finally said after several minutes of silence. “I knew that you didn’t understand the differences between us. Hell, you didn’t even know about some of them,” he said with a sigh. “I’m sorry I made you feel like an unwanted obligation. I swear that I never saw it that way.” He hesitated for the briefest second and pressed on, “If anything, I think I fell a little in love with you on first sight,” he admitted with a snort, like he didn’t believe his own words. “I’m sorry I walked away.”
“You were just trying to protect your heart,” I said quietly. “I understand now. Can you forgive me?”
Roger tightened his arms around me, hugging me close before relaxing his hold and returning to stroking my belly. “Of course, I do,” he assured me. “Can you forgive me?”
“I already did,” I said quietly. “Can we be friends again?”
Roger stilled and even though he didn’t physically move, there was a sudden distance between us. “Is that what you want?”
I swallowed and drew in a deep breath, reminding myself that I had to be able to tell him what I wanted if there was to be any chance to get it. “Not really,” I hedged. “I, um, would rather be the way we were.”
“Lovers?” Roger’s voice was hesitant but warm, as though he wasn’t sure he should say the words, but he wanted to.
“Yes, but only if you want that, too.”
“Ari, there was never a time when I didn’t want to be with you.” Roger’s voice was firm. “And there was nothing that we did together that I was anything less than enthusiastic to do with you. The only reason that I didn’t initiate sex with you was that I wasn’t sure you really wanted me to.” He hesitated and blew out a breath. “You reacted somewhat unpredictably afterward, so I wasn’t really sure what you wanted to do.”
I nodded, feeling my hair rub against his chest. “I know. Doctor Mike says it all tracks back to the negative view of sex I was raised with.” I’d already explained that in detail, but it didn’t seem repetitive to bring it up in response to his statement. “I’m, um, working on it.”
Roger didn’t respond but I could feel tension in his body that hadn’t been there a minute ago. I ran through my words in my head, looking for what I’d said wrong and rolling my eyes when I caught it almost immediately.
“That didn’t come out quite right,” I said quickly, holding back a nervous chuckle. “I didn’t mean I’m having sex with other people. I meant that I’m working on retraining my brain to make positive associations about sex instead of the negative ones.”
