Oh, I’d put all the needed plans in place, first. I’d signed the paperwork for the administration office to officially list Ari as a carrying dependent on my file so a monthly stipend would automatically be withheld from my paycheck and forwarded to the address he’d provided. At least, I assumed there was an address in the sealed envelope I’d found on my kitchen counter several days after I’d walked out on him. I hadn’t opened it, just dropped it into Lieutenant Jay’s in box and assumed the best when I didn’t hear back.
Then, I’d asked Jeremy to screen the Omegas in the child development program to see if any of them would make an appropriate nanny after Ari dropped our child on my doorstep and walked away. I’d even contracted with a local interior designer to have my townhouse pup-proofed and the third bedroom remade into a nursery.
And with those plans in place, I’d signed the correct forms to have my pack identified as the baby’s protectors and to have all of my worldly possessions placed in a trust for the child if the worse happened to me. Then, I’d thrown myself into my work to blot out the constant reminder that the man I’d fallen in love with was planning on dropping my pup and handing it to me as a fucking thank you gift, a repayment of sorts, and then walking out of my life for good.
Alfried was still talking so I nodded along, muttering responses at the right times until he handed me the unmarked manila envelope with the mission details in it. Pulling the single page free, I scanned the printed lines, fire-hot rage burning in my gut as I read the bullet points. Even though I knew we wouldn’t have been moving forward without supporting evidence, the facts we’d found so far completely supported our suspicion of Omega trafficking.
When the Omega Auction House had burned down a few years back, the Council of Packs had finally moved to squash the centuries-old blue law that allowed Omegas to be bought and sold like so much chattel. Naturally, not everyone had taken kindly to the change and that had resulted in a significant spike in the number of trafficking tips we received. This one, though, claimed a Hunter clan was trafficking in both Omegas and human children. It didn’t often get much worse than that.
“You know the drill,” Alfried was saying. “Get in, document as much as you can with the night vision camera, get out without being seen.”
“Lather, rinse, repeat,” I confirmed, making him laugh. I looked out the window at the still bright early evening light. “I’ll go tonight.”
Alfried nodded and dismissed me with one last reminder to take care of myself. I was pretty sure he was talking about the demons chasing me rather than reminding me to take precautions on what would be a fairly standard reconnaissance job, but I just nodded agreeably and headed out into the fresh air.
After leaving Ari in my townhouse, I’d never gone back. I’d stopped at the local megastore to grab the essentials that I hadn’t taken with me and booked myself into a vacant bunk in the barracks, so that was where I headed to get my supplies prepared for the night and then shifted into my lupine form for my evening run.
As he had every night for almost two months, my wolf ran easily along a trail that led to the bluff, stopping to wait where it overlooked the small park-like area below. Truthfully, I hadn’t gone looking for Ari, hadn’t trusted myself enough to be near him without begging him to come back or worse, using the Alpha voice to force it. But when I’d caught a whiff of his familiar scent on one of my evening runs, I also hadn’t been strong enough not to return.
When the sun began to set, a familiar figure stepped out of one of the small cabins into the evening air, settling onto the worn wooden bench that faced west.
There was no doubt that Ari had grown since we’d last spoken and while he didn’t know it, I’d watched from afar with both amazement in the changes and a bone-deep grief that I wasn’t able to touch him, hold him, to actuallybethere with him through the changes as his body cradled our child.
If I’d been closer to him, I’d probably already know if he carried a boy or a girl. Would have been able to convince myself that the baby was healthy through their combined scents. Could have already begun to bond with our child through my mere presence. Because I wasn’t strong enough to be in Ari’s presence knowing what was coming in the following months, I instead spied on him each night as he enjoyed the sunset with a glass in one hand, the other resting on his expanding belly.
As it did every night, my wolf whimpered quietly at being forced to keep a distance from our mate and pup. As I did every night, I ignored it, reminding us both that Ari didn’t want us. The faint chemical scent of the pheromone replacement spray used to keep Ari’s neglect in check wafted up on the breeze, making it easier to convince myself of it.
When the washes of color faded into the grays of early dusk, Ari pushed to his feet and wandered back down the path that took him out of sight and I lifted my muzzle to the sky, howling into the coming darkness before heading back down the trail toward the job waiting for me.
Chapter Twenty
Ari
My stomach tightened and I glanced up at the clock hanging on the wall. Quarter to eight. The sun would just be beginning to set and as it did, Roger would arrive to stand on the hill above my little house, not realizing I knew he was there. That he’d been there every night for weeks, checking on me, watching over me, proving he still cared even if he wasn’t willing to see me face to face.
Reaching for the jar of sun tea that I’d taken to setting on the kitchen windowsill each morning, I filled my glass and dropped in a few ice cubes. Then I made the short walk out to the courtyard where I sat facing the setting sun, basking in the comforting veil that Roger’s presence settled over me.
Every night it became harder for me to keep from looking up to where he sat in the brush, to alert him that I knew he was there. I wanted desperately to see him, to touch him, to talk to him but I was terrified that if he knew that I knew he was visiting me, he’d stop and I’d be back to suffering through more long, hopeless nights of the sort I’d had after he left. Those few moments of comfort were better than nothing. I didn’t want to risk losing them, but it was becoming increasingly clear that I was going to have to make the first move if I ever wanted the stubborn werewolf in my life in any meaningful way again. Tonight, I was screwing up my courage and taking the first step.
Between my skills and my pregnancy, the caretaker job ended up being absolutely perfect for me. I only worked about four hours each day which left me plenty of time for other things. Things like continuing with the online education program and beginning trauma counseling with a therapist who volunteered with Omega Destiny, International. Through one of the classes, I’d learned a lot about the traditional dynamics between members of what was commonly referred to as ABO genetic groups, but the therapy sessions had done the most good, helping me to realize that the way I’d been brought up had poisoned me against healthy sexual relationships.
Ironically, it wasn’t any of the trained instructors or Doctor Mike who had shown me how unfair I’d been to Roger, how much I’d hurt him. That lesson had been courtesy of Marge at The Hole in the Wall when Jeremy dragged me in for lunch one day. He was insistent that it was time for me to get past the negative association I had made between the sweet fizzy drinks and what I still sometimes struggled to accept was perfectly normal, healthy, andappropriatebehavior for one adult person to exhibit toward another consenting adult that they were attracted to.
The spotty cell phone reception had Jeremy popping out the front door to take a phone call when Marge brought our drinks over, studying me with a raised brow as she set mine down.
“Can’t say as I’d thought I’d see you with anyone but Fang,” she’d commented with a little sniff.
Fang. I was so used to thinking about him as Roger that it still startled me when I heard people call him that. Then the meaning of her words set in and I blinked in surprise.
“Oh, Jeremy’s just a friend but, um, things didn’t work out with, um, Fang. He wasn’t interested, just being nice because I was..am pregnant.”
“Bullshit.” The curse wasn’t loud or aggressive, just said in her normal tone as if Marge was commenting on the weather or any other mundane topic. “That boy was in love with you before he found out y’all had a bun in the oven.”
“I..what?”
Marge rolled her heavily made-up eyes and popped her right hip out, dropping her bar tray down to rest on it. “Don’t guess it can do any harm to tell ya,” she huffed out, “but he came in every night he could after the night y’all met and every time he ordered one of those, just in case.” She nodded toward my Shirley Temple.
“In case..” I trailed off, not sure if I could believe what she was saying.
