"He did," I admitted softly.
"That doesn't sound to me like an Alpha who is settling."
"No," I agreed, "but that was mostly the dysphoria talking, I think." I plucked a zebra cookie from the bowl and studied it before biting the head off with more force than was necessary. "I'm afraid that I was right about not belonging here, though."
"You're not," Cian said firmly. "I told you once that there wasn't a place for me in this world, remember?"
"Of course." I swallowed hard as I remembered how close we'd come to losing the young dragon to the beyond. "I told you that you had a place with us."
"You did," Cian smiled warmly. "Later you told me that I could stay as long as I wanted, that all Omegas were safe in Coruscation territory, right?"
"Well, yes," I agreed, pressing my fingers to my forehead. "That's not quite the same though. I know Clint would never make me leave, but I'm not sure I can stay without being his mate."
"This is silly."
I started at the frustrated sigh from usually sweet, calm Kenny. "I'm sorry?"
"I said, this is silly, Trevor," he repeated. "You remember when Drey was trying to convince me to forgive Colin for not protecting me from that bitch? You and Colby let me join you for tea on the porch."
Colby and I exchanged a grin. We remembered the conversation well. It was the one where we had shocked poor Kenny's sensibilities by talking about topping our Alphas. He'd been..startled, to say the least.
Kenny's ears turned red, confirming that he remembered that part as well. "When I told you that I wasn't sure that I could make myself ask my Alpha a hard question, what did you tell me to do?"
"To try," I admitted. "I told you that you had to try."
Kenny smiled gently at me and I nodded.
"I know you're right, but I did ask. When I told Clint that I wanted him to reclaim me, he declined."
Quinn's laugh startled me, and I threw him a questioning look.
"Sorry, Trev," he swallowed his next laugh and tried to school his face. "But, seriously, you wouldn't accept that excuse for a minute whenItried to use it." He looked around the room at several sets of questioning eyes. "When Lachlan told me that I wasn't a fit for the Wounded Veteran's program, Trev shoved me right back through the door." He laughed again. "Well, technically, he read Clint the riot act about Alphas pushing Omegas around and had Clint march me back through the door, but the end result was the same." He met my eyes. "You weren't going to let me give up."
"That's not quite the same thing," I protested.
"Maybe not," Spencer agreed from the corner, "but he has a valid point." He sipped his water, a move I knew was to build courage. Talking to groups still didn't come easy for Spencer. "But you kind of did the same thing to me, didn't you?"
"I did?" I questioned weakly and hung my head a bit when he nodded emphatically. "When Harry didn't believe I could hold my own in Terena de Dragoni, who packed all my stuff and shipped it to the castle while I began traveling North?"
"Oh, well, I did," I admitted, "but I was just trying to help you find the courage that you already had."
"Exactly," Spencer huffed. "Now it's time to find yours."
"I already did," I snapped, my head starting to throb. "I can be brave and strong and communicate and do everything else you are all suggesting, but I can't force an Alpha to claim me." I exhaled sharply. " You're all missing the part where Clint doesn't want me anymore."
"Trevor?" Sebastian had remained silent through the entire conversation but now seemed to be ready to speak. He rose from the chair he'd been sitting in, slid the plate on the table in front of me aside, and sat on the coffee table facing me, forcing me to meet his eyes. "After Alrick dissolved our initial claim, you and Clint brought me into the office for a heart-to-heart, right?"
"We did."
"I thought Clint was mad at me. That I was going to be sent away for causing his friend problems."
"Seb! We would have never.." I held my tongue when Sebastian shook his head.
"I know that now," he agreed, "but, at the time, things were less clear to me." Sebastian scooped my hand up and held it between his. "Do you remember what Clint's main concern was that day?"
"Of course. Clint's a huge believer in Omegas having the right to refuse an unwanted claim." I knew I was frowning, but I couldn't see where this was heading. "He wanted to be sure that you hadn't been claimed against your will. That you had really consented and not forced or tricked into anything. He was concerned that you might have been manipulated into accepting the bite. He wanted to be sure that it had been your choice."
Sebastian sat in front of me without speaking for a long moment, and the pounding in my head became almost unbearable as comprehension thundered through me.
