It was as if every pivotal moment of the past two years of my life was intertwined with this place, so why did it seem like I belonged there less and less every day?
Clint
Before I'd taken leadership of the Coruscation pack, I was a leader in the Böxenwolf Brigade. Before that, I was a member of a secret special forces division of the Council of Packs Military Forces. Helpless wasn't an emotion that I was used to. Still, as Trevor pulled away from me yet again, that was precisely how I felt.
I went back to bed, giving him the space that he was looking for, but in my heart I knew that we couldn't go on like this any longer. We were going to have to talk, even if all signs pointed to the possibility that I wasn't going to like the outcome.
I heard the door creak closed behind Trevor as he moved outside. Like the distance between us, his midday excursions were increasing. He spent more time awake when the pack was asleep; moving about restlessly in his human form. He was sleeping more at night when the rest of us were awake, and he had skipped the last two pack runs.
When I thought about it, I couldn't seem to remember the last time I had seen one of his shifted forms. For a being who used to delight in the ability to shift, to run in the woods with his pups, the entire situation seemed….unnatural.
~*~
Trevor had taken to crawling into bed for a nap as soon as Eric and Adrian had been delivered to the tutors at the pack schoolhouse. Most nights, the nap lasted until it was time to bring the boys home. On more than one occasion, the tutor had walked them home after all the other children were gone when Trevor had overslept. The pack was beginning to talk.
Two days passed before I was able to catch Trevor while he was still awake after taking the twins to school. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at the rising moon with a faraway look in his eye.
"Trevor?" I called his name softly, trying not to startle him.
"Hi." He continued to stare out the window.
"We need to talk."
My Omega's response was a sigh that could only be described as bone-weary.
"Will you come to the other room?"
"I'm tired, Clint," he growled. "I wanted to catch some sleep while the boys are at school."
"I know," I tried to keep my voice agreeable, "but we need to talk and I think it's best that it happens while the boys are gone. Will you please come to the kitchen?"
Trevor grumbled under his breath but stood and followed me.
"I'm here," he snapped. "What do you want?"
WhatdidI want? I thought about that for a minute. What I wanted was the sweet, kind Omega that I had taken to mate. The one who used to say he loved me. What I was willing to settle for was some insight into the situation.
Luckily, Trevor hadn't seemed to pick up on my thoughts. Or, possibly, unluckily since I knew I would never verbalize the first part.
"I want to know what's wrong, honey." I actually flinched at the venomous look he shot me at the nickname. "Sorry. Trevor."
"Itoldyou, nothing is wrong."
"You did," I agreed with forced calm, "but I don't believe you."
"Not really sure that's my problem," he sniped in return. "Can I lie down now?"
I almost gave in, unwilling to anger him further. Then I remembered an old saying my father lived by."Ninety-five percent of being successful is knowing what is worth fighting for."There was no doubt in my mind that Trevor was worth fighting for.
"Not yet." I drew in a deep breath, finding the action I was about to take to be morally repugnant. When I opened my mouth again, my Alpha control threaded through my words, wrapping around Trevor and forcing his response. "Why are you angry with me? Is this because I didn't want you to work with the bog witch last month when Connor and Devlin needed help?"
"What?" Trevor's confusion was evident in his voice. "No. Of course not." He sighed deeply. "I'm honestly not angry with you, Clint."
"Then what's wrong?" I swallowed hard. "Do you still love me?"
"I..I think so," he said slowly, dropping his face to his hands. "I mean, whatever this has been, it has remained steady."
"Whatever this has been?" I repeated, my stomach clenching. "You used to say you love me. Now you don't know if you ever did?"
