She heard his wounding. She recognized the concealing of his emotions to accommodate hers. Oh, how she loved this motherfucker.
“Sometimes,” she replied truthfully.
“Rip a nigga heart right on out his chest, Bird,” Demi said, placing his free hand on his stomach because, damn it if her words didn’t make it ache.
“You have this dream of how our life should be. It’s so orderly, baby. Like the most OCD version of what a life could be. You’ve organized it in your mind, and you want it so bad, I’m afraid of it. I’m afraid to tell you I don’t want some of those things too. I’m afraid of wearing pre-picked clothes. I’m terrified of following your GPS for your life. You’ve already passed all the pit stops I want to make in my 20’s. You’re in Thirtyville, where the speed limit is slow as fuck.”
“You calling a nigga old?” He asked, a hearty laugh skipping out of him, breaking up his stern demeanor.
“You kinda old, nigga!” Charlie exclaimed. “Especially since I moved in here. You giving me sugar daddy vibes and I just want to live.”
Demi was wrecked with laughter so badly his stomach hurt. “Aww shit, that’s fucked up, Bird.”
She laughed too. “What? I’m serious, baby,” she said, amusing tears coming from her eyes.
“Come climb this mountain, baby,” Demi said. He smacked her little booty on her way to the summit. She laid on his chest, and he rubbed her back.
“I love you. I plan to love you for a long time, Bird. I plan to give you everything you want. I forget sometimes that you’re young. I forget that what I’m ready for you might not be. I never want to control your life, baby. I just want to take parts. If you don’t want this baby right now…”
Charlie put a finger to his lips.
“I just wanted you to acknowledge my wants,” she whispered. “And my pace.” She lifted her head to look at him. “I want to have our baby. Just one right now. More can come later. But if I get one stretch mark!”
Demi smiled and chuckled.
“A nigga can’t control your stretch marks, Bird.” He sighed. She could feel his relief. “I’m driving in reverse to make sure you don’t miss your stops, baby. That’s my word. Whatever I got to do. I’ma be here. Your career. Fucking pussy popping around town with Stassi on your girls’ nights.”
“Ain’t nobody pussy popping,” Charlie said, laughing. “You just old and boring.”
“Yeah, whatever, be having niggas all in your DM’s every time you go out with her. Little booty-ass twerking and going live and shit. All y’all do is yell ‘aye’ and dance in circles, then get mad when niggas shoot they shots.”
Charlie hollered.
“Well, I’m somebody’s mama now, ain’t I?” She asked. “Guess my twerking days are on pause for a little bit.”
“I’ll keep my kid while you do your thing, Bird. You can still shake that li’l ass with your sister.”
Charlie hugged him so tightly. “I’ll never leave you, Demi. I’ll never unlove you. I could do this for a lifetime.”
“That’s the plan, baby,” Demi answered.
“You promise?” She asked. “Don’t leave me. Don’t let someone else make you feel something new and make you forget how you feel about me. Don’t do me like…”
Demi interrupted her. “Like I did Lo?”
She nodded. “She really fucking got you on her side, huh?” Demi asked.
Charlie snickered. “I just don’t want to become her. I don’t want to be introduced to that kind of betrayal when you get bored. Don’t ask me for a kid if this has the potential to end.”
“I didn’t get bored with Lauren, Bird. I was suffocating with her and not because of anything she did. I just couldn’t feel my pulse with her. It was a marriage that should have never happened, but she gave me my son, and I wanted to do right by my son.”
Charlie nodded, but he saw her worry.
“This isn’t the same,” he said. “I want you, not out of obligation, either. I wantyou.”
“Are you sure, Demi? Because in that hospital, you didn’t want me without this baby,” she said.
“I want you to have my baby because I love you so fucking much. I want to love something that comes from us. I want to share something with you, baby, but if we never have that, I’ll still want this with you. Nobody else, Bird. Just you. Only way I’m leaving is if God make me. Who else gon’ sing a nigga to sleep?”
