Stassi sighed. “I don’t know. You know I have this thing. I don’t fuck with niggas I work for, so I never wanted to cross those lines with Day. He has thrown business my way in the past, and he’s so connected, so I just never wanted to take it there with him, but there was always this chemistry. Everytime we’re in the same room, there’s this flirtation between us. I never gave into it, but at your dinner…”
“I knew I noticed some tension between you two! At the dinner table! His girlfriend was there!”
“Girlfriend is laughable. That nigga don’t do relationships. That’s what he told me. He was probably paying her too,” Stassi replied. “I still can’t believe I let shit get so far.”
“You aren’t the first, and you won’t be the last bitch in the world to take a little paper from a nigga. If he was fucking you, low-key, you shouldn’t have been worried about anything. What you look like sleeping with a man of his caliber but struggling? People don’t say it but there is always a price to pay for a woman. One way or another, a woman is going to get what she’s owed from the man she’s with.”
“I mean, I get that, but it’s never spoken. This was a fucking contract basically. I literally sold pussy and then got mad when he treated me like shit. I would be embarrassed to be seen with me too. I can’t believe I let myself even entertain having more with him.”
“So, you know I’ve spent a lot of time with Day in the studio. Like to the point I would consider him a really good friend. I’vebeen around him and other women. I mean, literally a new bitch would pop into our sessions every day and Day has never given this much energy to any of them, Stass. He’s a bachelor in the industry. He’s a ho. Like, he got bitches. His bitches got bitches, like it’s that type of vibe with him. He’s living a real rock star life…”
“Okay, sis, damn, I get it,” Stassi interrupted. “I’m saying, though. A nigga with that many options taking the time out to come clarify some shit with you? He was almost begging you, Stass. I don’t think you were the only one catching feelings.”
“Guess we’ll never know.”
The reflection in the mirror was one that Lauren hadn’t seen in a long time. It was a peaceful version of herself, and she scoffed in disbelief as she sat in silence, admiring the view. She hadn’t even known how much disruption she had handcuffed herself to until she let it go. While Demi had been a great love for her, he was always a great source of insecurity. She had thought love was supposed to come with the extremes. The pit in her stomach when she thought he was displeased or unsatisfied. The pressure of trying to be and do it all in her career while still being Susie Homemaker for her man. She had been bogged down by expectations and roles that other people had of her, and she had just accepted it as the way things should be. Even when Demi had left the baggage of emotional damage he had left her with so heavy, she couldn’t lift herself out the bed sometimes. If it wasn’t for DJ needing to be carted off to school or practice or needing breakfast or downloading her on some school activity, she was sure her divorce would have broken her. For the first time in her adult life, she felt peace, and she knew it was because she had finally gottenclosure. Sitting down with Charlie was like the cut that let the poison out of her heart. She had been able to sit across from a woman who had hurt her and truly forgive. Her power was restored, and she felt it.
She finished rubbing beauty cream into her hands and then applied eye cream to her puffy eyes. She had cried after Demi and Charlie had left. She had cried for the death of her marriage. She had cried for the end of an era where the word family had meant just she, Demi, and DJ. She had cried for Demi’s growth at the hands of another woman, but most of all she had cried because she had faced that pain head-on and allowed it to come out. Now she was done. She wouldn’t cry over any of those things ever again.
“Ma?”
Lauren didn’t turn. She saw her son through the mirror and she didn’t want him to see that she had been emotional.
“Yes, baby?”
“Can I sleep with you?” He asked.
She turned at that. His feelings were hurt. He didn’t need to say it; she heard it in the quiver he was trying to be tough and disguise.
“Sure, babe, come on in,” Lauren said. She lifted from her seat and slipped her Versace cotton robe over her silk nightdress.
She knew her baby so well that she saw his melancholy in every step. She pulled back the duvet on her bed and fluffed her pillows. “Come on, hop in.”
His bottom lip was so heavy she thought it might hit the floor. She climbed in and turned on the television.
“What we watching?” She asked.
“Walking Dead new season is on Netflix,” he said half-heartedly. Yup, something was definitely wrong. If her son wasn’t amped to watch the zombie adventures of Rick Grimes, she knew something was bothering him.
“Let’s do it!” She said. As she clicked through the apps on the television, she tried to enter the conversation to come delicately. If she were too pushy, her son would shut down.
“Today was a lot. You want to talk about it?” She asked.
He shrugged.
“You’re going to be a big brother. That’s a big deal, right?” Lauren asked. She threw out the bait and waited for him to bite.
“I don’t care,” DJ said. He was near tears, but nothing more than Demi in a mini body, so his pride stopped him from giving into what he felt.
“You always wanted a baby brother. This may be your chance, kiddo. You will make such a good big brother.”
“The show’s on, Ma, you’re making me miss it,” DJ said.
She ached a little bit because she knew he was feeling replaced. He was used to being the center of Demi’s universe. He was an only child. The thought of sharing his father’s attention and time when the time was already so limited due to the split had to be scary.
“We love you, DJ, and a lot of things may change, but that is one thing that never will,” she said.
He ignored her, and she made a mental note to have a conversation with Demi about DJ’s sentiments regarding Charlie’s pregnancy. One thing she wouldn’t have was her child being placed on the back burner. Demi would have to put in extra time to make DJ feel like a priority.
