“No chance,” I said. “Attorneys will not be present. Apparently, the court thinks couples that come to their own decisions and agreements are less likely to go back to court later.” Unfortunately, I couldn’timagine Robert agreeing to any split of our money and assets, which was likely the reason he’d claimed bankruptcy.
“How are you feeling about that?” Alicia asked.
“Not great,” I admitted. “But it puts me one step closer to divorce, and I love that for me.”
She tipped her head, eyes narrowing. “You’re being incredibly casual. I’m not sure if you’re putting on a show, repressing your feelings, or truly don’t care.”
“I care.” I sucked a dollop of ketchup off the side of my thumb. “But I mentally divorced Robert years ago. That’s the only way I could put up with him intentionally ignoring me and dismissing my needs.” Those things had become so normal that we’d barely interacted at all most days.
“Another reason I will always hate him,” she said. “Withholding attention and affection is cruel. Abusers do it to wear away your self-esteem.”
There was that word again, the one that crossed my mind more and more.Abuser.
“He didn’t care what I wanted,” I said. “Do you know that sometimes when I spoke, he circled a finger in the air to rush me along, so I’d get to my point?” I said.
Alicia stuck out her tongue in a mock gag.
“I was in charge of everything, but he was the boss. I mean it when I say the relationship has been over in my heart for a decade. The paperwork isn’t finished, but I’ve been single for at least ten years.”
She pointed at me, her head bobbing in agreement. Then she raised her hand and signaled to the bartender she wanted another round for us. “Speaking of bosses, how’s Lucas?”
My heart fluttered nonsensically at the mention of his name. “Good. Funny. Stupid attractive.”
She smiled. “What did he say when you told him you’re the Invisible Baker?”
I pulled my lips into a low, dramatic frown. “I did not do that.”
She gaped. “Sophie! Why?”
“I don’t know. I’m not ready to out myself. The Invisible Baker has been a lifeline for me. Confessing I’m behind the name feels like letting it go. It won’t be the same after that.”
“What are you going to do? Work two jobs until you crack?”
“Basically, yes.”
She laughed. “At least you have a plan, I guess. What else have I missed?”
I considered the question, then jolted at a brilliant thought I’d had earlier this week. “I have an idea about how to find Sébastien Allard.”
Alicia stilled. “Your bio dad?”
I nodded, enthusiasm growing. “I ordered one of those DNA tests that tell you all about your ancestry. When the results come back, they tell you if you match with anyone else who’s taken the test. Maybe he took one. Or one of his other children did, or his siblings or parents.”
Her eyes widened. “That’s brilliant.”
The waitress delivered our new drinks and collected the empty food baskets. “Can I get you anything else?”
“Just the bill,” I said, and the woman walked away.
“I want to be there when you take it,” Alicia said. “And when you get the results.” She pulled her phone from her bag and tapped the screen. “I’m texting the guys to pick us up. We’re hammered. They can take our cars home too.”
I erupted into laughter. I was day drunk in a dive bar with a nose piercing and my best friend. “This is so embarrassing! I don’t want them to see me drunk. I changed their diapers.”
“Me, too, so they better hurry. I have to pee, and I am not using this bathroom.”
I cackled.
My life really was kind of lovely.
