Kieran meets my gaze steadily. “I find myself curious about you.”
“My parents are back at my pack. I don’t see them.”
“Why not?”
I turn to the window again, focusing on the rain instead of the man behind me. This is the first time since I came to the palace that I’ve let myself think about them. The first time I’ve allowed their faces to surface in my mind. I don’t want to answer. I should tell this man to mind his own business, to stop asking questions that cut too deep.
But after a moment, the answer slips out anyway.
“Because they were willing to sacrifice me.”
My lips twist bitterly, but Kieran can’t see my face. I can’t see his, either, but his expression must have changed; I can feel the weight of his frown even with my back turned.
“I don’t understand.”
I shouldn’t tell him. I shouldn’t tell this alpha anything about my life, my pain, my complete and utter destruction at the handsof people who were supposed to love me. But maybe that’s exactly why the words start to spill out of me.
“When Astra escaped the pack, Selene and I helped her.” The memory burns. “My uncle was furious. He agreed with our alpha to put the blame on me, and my parents—” My voice cracks, and I hate myself for it. “My parents agreed. I haven’t seen them since.”
The silence stretches between us, heavy with things unsaid.
“Do you miss them?”
The question is so soft, so unexpectedly gentle, that I want to scream. “You ask a lot of questions about things that have nothing to do with you.”
Something flickers in the air between us—regret, maybe. “Forgive me. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
I need to move. Need to do something other than stand here and let him see too much. “I’ll get you some food. And tonight, you leave. You’ve been here for two days already.”
As I walk past him, trying to ignore how close we are in this tiny room, his voice stops me. “Have you told the Queen about the attack on us?”
I hesitate, my hand on the doorknob. “No.”
When I glance back, I catch the relief that flashes across his face. It’s there and gone in an instant, but I see it. And it makes everything more complicated. He asked me not to tell anyone, didn’t want to face the political ramifications if word got out that he’d been injured, that he’d been vulnerable. I agreed in the moment, but now…
“I should go,” I mutter, but I don’t move. Can’t move. Something holds me here, rooted to the spot.
Finally, I manage to flee into the hallway, my heart hammering against my ribs. Why haven’t I told Astra? She’s my friend. My queen. Even if Kieran did ask me to keep quiet, I should have told her. Should have let her know that an alpha waswounded in her territory, that something happened that could affect the fragile peace between our packs.
But instead, I’ve hidden him in my room. Tended his wounds. Let him ask me questions I’ve never answered for anyone.
The rain pounds harder against the roof, each drop a reminder of all the things I’m trying not to feel. All the things I’m failing not to feel.
I lean against the wall, pressing my palms flat against the cool stone.
What am I doing?
And more terrifying still: Why can’t I make myself stop?
I haven’t seenKieran since he left my room three nights ago. I thought that would be the end of it.
Instead, the nightmares are getting worse.
They’ve plagued me for months, ever since I helped Astra escape. But lately, they’ve intensified. New images bleed into the old ones. Recent blood mixing with ancient guilt.
I wake up gasping, sheets twisted around my legs, heart racing like I’ve run for miles. Every single night. Sometimes twice.
By the time my shift with Astra ends and another guard takes over, I’m practically swaying on my feet. I need sleep. Real sleep. Not the fractured, terror-filled hours I’ve been having.
