The shop and its ghosts were haunting me today, and I had to break out of there before I lost it. My steps took me to Tompkins Square Park, where I found a bench away from people.
During our years together, Carlos and I would come here on many mornings—him with a sketch pad in hand, and me watching him, forever amazed that a guy like me somehow found a man like him in this crazy city. A man who, knowing the mess I was, loved me despite everything.
With the heel of my hand, I wiped at the wetness in my eyes and held my head. Fuck, I missed him. I missed our life together.
I missed being happy.
Someone sat next to me, and I shifted to put more space between us, resisting the urge to curse at them. Twenty damn benches in the park, and they had to plant their ass on mine. I glanced over with a ferocious scowl, only to see Grady by my side.
Shit. The last thing I needed was for my brother to see me emotional. I pasted a smile on my face.
“Hey, what’re you doing here in the middle of the day?”
“What’s wrong?” The problem with having a brother who was a psychologist as well as a lawyer was that your every word and mood was analyzed. I had to watch myself.
“Nothing. It’s lunchtime. I’m taking a break in the park.”
“Didn’t look like it to me. We hardly had a chance to talk at my party.”
My smile turned into a smirk. “In case you don’t remember, you were kinda wasted.”
A pained expression crossed his face. “Oh, yeah. Took me all Sunday to recover. No more tequila shots for me. And I had to hear about it from Lauren. She was not pleased.”
I cackled. “Not even married and already getting lectured. Man, you are in trouble,” I singsonged.
“Speaking of being in trouble, I saw you left with Bailey. You guys dating now?”
I rolled my eyes. “I don’t date. You know that.”
“What I know is that you were having fun with him.” The normally harsh lines of his face softened. “I haven’t seen you like that in a long time.” He put a hand on my arm, and despite him being my brother, I tensed, but he held on. “Not since Carlos. I didn’t have the chance to see you two together for long before—”
“He’snothinglike Carlos. What the hell, Grady?” Panic welled up inside me, and all the hurt and anger threatened to burst out of me. “I gotta go. I’ve got clients soon.”
“I didn’t say he was like Carlos. He doesn’t have to be. But I watched you at my party. Your face…your smile was genuine, you looked alive.”
What the hell was I supposed to say in response? Not the truth, for sure. Bailey scared the hell out of me because it was all so damn easy with him. The laughter and jokes. The teasing and banter. I didn’t have to worry about being myself—if Bailey didn’t like something I said, he challenged me. And if I told him to lay off, he didn’t badger me.
“Bro, you were trashed at the party, who’re you kidding?”
Of course my brush-off didn’t work. “Maybe so, but it wasn’t too hard to see. And Lauren barely had one drink. She mentioned it to me as well.”
“Well, she’s a smart lady. You’re a lucky guy.”
“I know it. She’s the one.”
“Damn. That’s…that’s great, Grady.”
“I’m tired of the scene. I’m ready to settle down, make a family. I’m in a great place in life. I’ve got my brother, and now I want it all. Wife, kids, even a damn dog.”
Shit, why were my eyes tearing up? I didn’t get emotional about stuff like this. “You deserve it.”
He put a hand on my shoulder. “So do you, baby brother.”
Unwilling to accept that, I shook him off and got to my feet. “As I said, I got a client in a few.”
Dogging my steps, Grady came along into the shop, where, as I feared, Ambrose jumped on him.
“Grady. I’m glad to see you. What do you think?”
