“So what is it? He’s married?”
“No. Not married and not seeing anyone.”
The chicken tenders arrived, and we ordered our mains. Dev dipped a piece into the sauce. “I’m confused. I’m not seeing a problem.”
“No. You wouldn’t. It’s, uh, he’s not out.”
Dev’s brows drew together. “Hmm. That’s problematic.” Nibbling on a tender, he thought for a moment, and his face brightened. “Wait. You said you haven’t spoken in years. Maybe he—”
“No,” I cut him off. “He’s definitely not out and not about to come out either.” I drank a little of my bellini. “So there’s the problem. Or not. Maybe I should just forget about it. He’s not going to change for me.” I dipped a piece of chicken into the honey mustard and ate without tasting, the thought of never kissing Patrick again depressing as hell.
“How do you know?”
I set the food on my plate. “Trust me. I know.”
“That sucks. But you’re not going to be in a relationship where you have to hide everything, are you? You can’t. It’s not fair to you.”
“You’re right.” I traced the stem of my glass with my fingers, unable to forget how one kiss from Patrick had awoken everything dead inside me. “But…what if I’m okay with it? For a while,” I added hastily, seeing the storm brewing in Dev’s eyes.
“Fucking hell, Fallon. Why would you do that? I won’t let you.”
I winced, but I understood his anger. It wasn’t directed at me but at a world that made it necessary. Dev and Brody had walked that path, and he’d always chafed at living a lie.
“Last time I checked, I was over the age of consent,” I responded mildly. “I don’t need your permission, Dev. I’m asking you as a friend.”
The anger in his eyes faded, and he sighed. “I understand. And I’m not telling you to give someone an ultimatum, because that’s not fair to him either.” He pushed his hands through his dark hair. “Dammit, Fal. Why the hell do we have to live like this?”
“It’s all premature, because I haven’t decided whether I want to tell him who I am.”
“Any man would be lucky to have you as a friend. I know I am.”
Our food came, but neither of us made a move to eat it. I was too emotional. Once again, I wanted what I couldn’t have—my brother, parents who loved me, and now the man who couldn’t come out.
Chapter Eight
Patrick
“So we’re heading to Birmingham first, then Austin.”
I was going over my schedule with Fallon. He was an organizational wizard and had my days color-coded by personal and professional appointments, and drilled down even further, dividing my time between things I had to finish by day’s end and things that could wait.
“Yep. I have you scheduled for press interviews in both cities. Both are Saturday at your hotel and should be quickies. Plus, an interview with a sports radio station in Birmingham. That’s on Saturday before dinner. I have the questions he’s asked previous guests, but you should expect him to push you about replacing Dev and the rivalry between the two teams. I emailed you everything.”
“Damn,” I swore, and his gaze flicked to mine.
“What? Is something wrong?”
“Hell, no. I’m just amazed how you stepped right in and took control like you’ve always been here. I wish I’d found you years ago. My ex-wives got annoyed when they had to answer the phone.”
“Thanks, but it’s my job.” He ducked his head, concentrating on the screen in front of him, a pink blush creeping up hischeeks. I had to wonder. A man like him—young, great-looking, intelligent—why was he alone? I decided to push a little.
“Now that I’ll be away for a couple of weeks, you’ll have some time to yourself.”
His smile was wry. “The work doesn’t stop simply because you’re not here.”
“No, but I want you to relax and have a break. Go hang out with your friends. Meet a guy and have some fun.”
His color deepened. “I’m fine,” he mumbled. “Okay, so I have an email fromNFL in Motion. They want an interview.”
