He shook his head. “I’ll call the agent today. But I want it, so you can go ahead and order what you think will look best in the space. I don’t have time, and I don’t care that much. I’m not into anything fancy. Plain, neutral stuff. Except like I said before, my bed.”
“Got it.” I clicked on the sites I used helping Dev with his apartment. “You’re pretty sure you’ll get it, even though other people might be bidding against you?”
He winked and slung his duffel over his shoulder. “Something else you’ll find out working for me—I always get what I want.”
He left, and I alternated between wondering what the hell he meant and smiling at his absolute confidence. You had to be born with that. Self-worth and that slight arrogance wasn’t something you could learn. Patrick Sloane had that enviable “it” quality I wished I possessed but didn’t. Ever. My parents had made certain of that with the subtle putdowns and comparisons between me and Rory, which had only increased after I’d come out to them.
As if my gayness had explained everything to them.
Rory had told me to brush it off, but I’d found it impossible. Being the golden child, he hadn’t understood. And I didn’t hold it against him because he loved me for who I was. No matter what, losing my brother, the only person who’d loved me unconditionally, had irrevocably changed me. Knowing there wasn’t another person who understood me completely—someone I used to cry to about never finding someone to love who would love me as well—was the loneliest feeling in the world. It was why I chose to use sex clubs. Love wasn’t going to happen for someone like me. I’d settle for an escape.
With the floor plans of the co-op downloaded, I ventured out to the stores and spent someone else’s money. I got Patrick squared away and even had them hold the delivery date, none of which could’ve been accomplished without using Patrick Sloane’s name.
Back at the suite, I waited for Patrick, but around six my phone buzzed with a text from him.
Having dinner with Dev and Brody. I’ll see you tomorrow.
I sent him a thumbs-up and left, my plan for the evening decided.
Intensity, I’m ready for you.
Chapter Six
Patrick
“A podcast? What’s the focus, football?” I stabbed at my steak. I had no desire to bring the mood down, but I was pissed. After a full day of practice, Coach had pulled me aside and told me he wanted to give it another week before starting me. He promised I’d get some playing time, but I was a starter, not a backup. Two weeks of forced inactivity was making me restless, and when I got restless, I did stupid things.
“Yeah. We’re calling itThe Huddle. We’ll talk about football, of course, but also focus on the needs of LGBTQ students who want to participate in sports. Plus, we’re hoping out athletes will want to come speak on the show. And anyone else,” Brody answered.
“Sounds good. I’ll be listening for sure.”
“If you want to come on and talk about your dating life, feel free. It’s not only about us gays.” Dev chuckled.
I chewed, imagining what the guys would say about me going to a sex club to get my rocks off with a guy. While I was friendly with them, I didn’t feel the need to spout off about something so personal, although I had a feeling Dev wouldn’t mind. He’d probably enjoy hearing about it.
“I’ll pass. At this point, I just want to play football. What I’m doing on the side to get a little action isn’t all that interesting.”
“Doubtful. You know people love to hear about people’s sex lives, especially hot football players.” Dev popped a shrimp into his mouth. “But we’ll let it slide this time.”
“Thanks.” I smirked, then became serious. “Really, though. I think it’s a great idea. People should see that they can be anything they want, no matter who they choose to sleep with. But let me ask you something. Do you think it’s necessary for a professional athlete to come out? You’ve been there. Did you feel pressure?”
Dev and Brody exchanged glances. Brody nodded. “Every single day. We hated having to hide for the sake of the game.”
“And you never thought about coming out while you were playing?”
Sadness darkened Dev’s green eyes. “I struggled with it every damn day, but I didn’t think the fans or our teammates would be ready to hear that.”
“That sucks, guys. I’m sorry you had to deal with that.” I finished my meal, and the server whisked the plate away. “It’s not fair.”
“I believe sooner rather than later, the tide will change,” Brody said, his usually mild face surprisingly fierce. “All it needs is for someone to take that first step.”
“We came close many times.” Dev put a hand over Brody’s. “But with both of us on the field, on the same team…we decided to wait until we retired. It would’ve turned the games we played into a circus. Maybe we were wrong, but what’s done is done. Now tell us about practice. How’re you liking the team? Are you nervous about starting?”
I’d hoped they wouldn’t ask. Embarrassed, I ducked my head. “I’m not starting.”
Shocked, they both stared at me. “What?” Brody sputtered. “Why not?”
My sigh came out as a growl. “Because Coach feels I’m still not ready or in top form. He wants to make sure my ankle is a hundred percent, even though it is. Dammit, I wanna get in there and show them what I’ve got.”
