Before answering, Armi drank some of his beer. “Honestly, I’m not sure. That’s what Tom is here for—to point out what we’re looking for and how they’ll fit with the future of the team.You’re right in that I should know what it is I’m directing the scouts to do. If I’m going to do this, I have to learn from the field up.”
“Why do you still keep saying if?” Hayden frowned. “You’re doing a great job from my point of view.”
“Which might be a little biased?” Armi teased, and Hayden liked him this way. Relaxed and comfortable in his skin.
“No, I don’t think I am. On my first day, you were hesitant and tentative, almost afraid to give an opinion. In the past few weeks, you’ve given multiple interviews, gotten one of the top running backs to sign with the team, and now here you are, at a scouting.”
“None of which I could’ve done if I didn’t have your support.” Armi finished his beer and signaled for another. He caught Hayden’s eye. “It’s the weekend, and we’re away from the office. I’m entitled.”
Grinning, Hayden held up his hands. “Hey, I’m not saying anything. Go for it. You deserve it.”
“And so do you.” Armi called over the bartender. “Bring him another, please.”
When Hayden received his Tito’s and soda, Armi held up his bottle. “To a great weekend. May we accomplish everything we need and want.”
“I’ll drink to that.”
But Hayden knew that wasn’t going to be the case. He wanted Armi. He needed to hold him, but that wasn’t going to happen. They’d agreed to be friends and nothing more.
Anything else would be a very bad idea.
Chapter Twenty
As they ate, Armi feigned interest in his grilled fish but studied Hayden instead. After revealing his startling secret, Hayden had continued his exemplary work as if nothing had happened. Almost. But Armi, who was used to spotting the tiniest beginnings of disease in his plants, noticed what most people wouldn’t—occasionally Hayden would stare off into space, or his fingers would tremble when he held the phone or took notes. Hayden could pretend he wasn’t affected by the revelations of his past, but Armi knew better because he now knew Hayden. There was so much hurt from the supposed damage to his parents, and so much anxiety, years of always looking over his shoulder and wondering if that would be the day his secret was exposed.
There had to be some way to convince him that it didn’t matter, that his mistake wasn’t an unforgivable sin. Armi had always wondered what was behind the shadows waiting in his eyes. And now that he knew, he couldn’t rest until they’d been erased.
“Something wrong with your meal?” Hayden pointed to his plate.
“No, just thinking of something.” He took a forkful and chewed.
“I’m thinking of something too. Like why the hell Russell would pull shit like that.”
Armi swallowed. “I hadn’t said anything before, but he’s been giving me strange vibes for months.”
“Strange vibes meaning what?” Hayden set his fork down.
Armi shrugged. “Sometimes he’d say things that made me wonder if he was interested in me…or he’d get in my personal space. Initially I brushed it off because, I mean, it’s Russell. I never would’ve suspected him of trying to use sex to influence me to run the team his way, but now with this room mix-up…I guess it makes more sense."
Hayden snorted. “Come on. You guess?” His eyes darkened. “He was going to use this weekend to get to you.”
Armi choked and grabbed the water glass. “What the hell does that mean?”
Hayden laid his fork on the table and leaned in close. “You know.” The flickering candle between them failed to hide Hayden’s serious expression. “Russell was going to try and sleep with you.”
It hurt more than it angered him that another person in his life he’d looked up to had only pretended to care. He should’ve listened to his gut. He’d suspected something was off about Russell’s eagerness to help guide him.
Hayden continued. “Don’t you see? Once you and he are together, he’d use his influence to get the team to do what he wanted. Maybe he’d even talk you into making him the CEO.”
With each word Hayden spoke, Armi grew angrier. His appetite gone, he threw down his napkin. “So that’s what you think of me? That I’m some damn patsy who’s so desperate tohave a man in my bed, I’d roll over for him because he pays attention to me?” He left Hayden speechless at the table and found the server. “Put the tab on my room, please. I have to leave.” Without looking back, he walked away.
His eyes burned as he entered the room and tossed his key aside. Nothing would ever change. Here he’d thought he and Hayden were friends, and yet Hayden thought he was a stupid, desperate fool who’d do anything to have someone care. The saddest thing? It was Hayden he had those feelings for, not Russell or anyone else.
“Screw it. I’m taking a shower and going to bed.”
He kicked off his sneakers and pulled his shirt off, when the lock clicked and Hayden walked in. They stared at each other in the semidarkness. Armi waited to speak because he was too hurt.
“I’m sorry, Armi.”
