Dammit. I’m such an idiot.
Not for what happened. Never that. Hayden would carry the night with Armi like a precious memory, an heirloom to take outand reminisce about when the loneliness became too much to bear.
He’d hated having to do it, but he’d lied to Armi, saying he had no regrets. Now that he knew what it was like to be inside Armi, how perfect and beautiful making love to him was, he regretted never being able to do it again. It was going to be torture working with him, but he’d faced bigger obstacles before and managed.
And yet…Hayden could imagine himself side by side with Armi as a partner…a lover. Pain sheared a burning path through his chest. A fucking joke if there ever was one. He wasn’t good enough for a sweet guy like Armi. Kids made mistakes all the time. That was what he’d heard. You grew from them. But all he’d learned was that the weight of his stupidity followed him wherever he went. Being the kind and sweet man Armi was, he wouldn’t care, but the thought of telling him he’d had sex on camera caused his stomach to revolt. He’d never forget hearing his parents’ late-night conversations after he was supposed to be asleep. How people in town whispered about him. And them. Listening to his father cry because he couldn’t take care of his family and blamed himself for Hayden’s actions.
Nothing I can do about it.
He made a platter with the sandwiches, grabbed two beers and a bag of chips. Back in the living room, Armi jumped up to help him.
“Thanks.” Hayden set the bottles on the table and poured the chips in the empty bowl. He raised his beer to Armi. “To only good press. And to you as the owner.”
Armi shook his head. “To you. For making it possible.”
“No, you did. You need to have more confidence that you can and will.” But if there was one thing Hayden had learned, itwas that pretty words couldn’t erase decades of put-downs and criticisms, and Armi’s wounds ran deep. “Let’s eat, and you can tell me everything you hope to accomplish with the team.”
“You don’t have to do this, you know.” Armi nibbled on the edge of his turkey sandwich.
“What? Eat?” He took a bite, chewed, and swallowed. “I’m hungry.” He smirked at Armi’s huff of annoyance. He really was cute.
“No. Pretend to want to be here. I know you have better things to do on a Saturday than spend it locked in here with me, talking about work.”
Oh, Armi. They did a real fucking number on your head, didn’t they?
“But I don’t. I’m working because you need my help. I told you when I took the job that this is what I do. I don’t have a boyfriend, and I don’t particularly want one. So can we cut this out now?”
“Okay.”
“I’d like to start with some information.”
“Sure.” Armi took a bite of his sandwich and chewed it without much interest.
“Tell me about your relationship with Russell.”
Armi’s head jerked up, confusion clouding his eyes. “Russell? What do you mean, my relationship with him? He’s the general manager of the team. I’ve known him all my life.”
Time to tread delicately. “Yeah, I know. He was also very close to your father?”
“Yes. They were best friends.”
“And you’ve been leaning on him and taking his advice on running the team?”
“Yeah. Hayden, where is this going? I don’t understand what you’re getting at.”
Of course he wouldn’t. Because Armi was a good and decent person who’d never think of sabotaging someone else for his own benefit. That was why he needed someone like Hayden, who knew all about the ugly underbelly of people and life in general.
“I’m just curious why. Someone who was best friends with your father—a man who wasn’t nice to you—why do you trust him? Shouldn’t he have stopped your father from talking all that shit? Shouldn’t they both have tried to bring you into the team instead of shutting you out?”
With each word, Armi seemed to deflate, and Hayden hated that he’d brought Armi to such a low point. His phone buzzed, and he pulled it out. “Shit,” he exclaimed, and Armi glanced at him.
“Plans you forgot? Don’t worry. I have plenty to keep me busy tonight.” Armi waved him off. “Go ahead.”
Hayden’s lips twitched. “Not me, Armi. You. I put it on your calendar for today, but I guess with the article, we both forgot. You have dinner with your friend Trevor.”
“Oh, shit.” Armi shot up from his chair, dumping his sandwich in his lap and knocking over his beer. “I’m such a klutz.”
“Stop it,” Hayden scolded and took a bunch of napkins to sop up the liquid. Jesus. It wasn’t only the father who was to blame. Where was Armi’s mother in all this mess? No time to think about it. He had to get Armi ready. “Leave it to me to clean up. You have plenty of time—it’s only four thirty, and dinner isn’t until seven. Go get ready. I won’t leave before you’re finished.”
