“I knew you wouldn’t listen to me,” he groused, but didn’t mind and settled into Colson’s arms. It felt so damn good to be held. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d let someone touch him without it leading to sex. Not that he didn’t want Colson, but now was a time for baring souls, not bodies.
“Get used to it,” Colson murmured against his temple. “What a terrible, horrible thing to have happened.”
“I wish…I wish they could see us now. David is so happy, it’s so hard to see him trapped in his mind and body. I’d like to think I’ve helped him feel loved and protected.”
“I’m sure he knows,” Colson soothed. “He’s your brother. You have a special bond.”
He shifted away from Colson. “Six years ago, I had a relationship, and he pretended to be in sync with me and how I was taking care of David. I was wary but thought he cared. I thought it would be okay. So I allowed him to meet David,and after several months, he started to hint that a special home would be best and David wasn’t getting the best care he could with me. That he should be with other people like him.”
He coughed, and Colson touched his knee. “I’ll bring you some water.”
Light-headed, he nodded and waited, drawing deep, ragged breaths. Colson pressed a cold glass into his heated palm. The condensation made it slippery, and he clutched it tighter, his knuckles turning white. His hand trembled slightly. He took a sip and set it on the table. Without saying anything, Colson held him again.
“When I told him no, that David stays with me, he grew angry. Then I found he’d left David alone in the park when he should’ve been watching him. I knew he didn’t understand. It’s been just the three of us since.”
Much in the same way he comforted David, Colson rubbed his back, and Harper wished he could stay there, listening to the thump of Colson’s heart under his cheek. It was nice for a brief moment in time to think of no one but himself. His wants. His needs.
“I think I’ve met your brother. His aide’s name is Luis?”
Harper’s lips twitched. “Yeah. He told me he talked to you.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
Harper disengaged from Colson and captured his gaze. “Because of everything I just told you. I couldn’t risk bringing someone into David’s life again who might hurt him. As much as we…mesh.”
“Is that what you’re calling it?” Colson’s lips curved in a grin, but his eyes were tender, and Harper’s heart gave a funny bounce. “I hope you know I’d never do anything to hurt David.From the few times I’ve met him, he looks happy and well-loved.”
“He is. He has Luis and me. We’d do anything for him.”
“I can tell. So where do we go from here? What happens now? Because I had time to think on the train going to my parents’ and coming home, and I’m not satisfied with only half of you. I don’t want to be shut out of your life. I’m a greedy bastard. I want it all.”
“That’s why I’m here. I’m ready to take the chance. If you want to.”
Chapter Nineteen
Colson’s heart broke for Harper. Who knew behind that arrogant smirk and brittle facade lay a man so shattered, he survived by sheer courage and love for his brother? He sensed that any pity or sympathy would be met with a chill rivaling the Antarctic, but that didn’t keep him from wanting to hold on to Harper and warm him up, soften the hard lines on his face with gentle kisses. Colson wanted to show Harper that what he believed to be a roadblock was in reality a door, opening up a new, fuller life.
“Meaning what? You’re willing to take a chance on something more for us?” Colson hoped that meant a forward step together, but with Harper, he couldn’t be sure. And it wasn’t as if he were an expert in healthy relationships. He’d rushed into living with Evan after only knowing him for a short while, caught up in the frenzy of lust and passion. By the end, he’d been clueless as to the distance that had grown between them, and Evan’s cheating.
“I-I guess. But I should ask if that’s what you’re interested in.” From Harper’s wary eyes and furrowed brow, it was apparent that he had no idea Colson wanted the same thing. He was so busy thinking up reasons to keep himself at a distance, he wasclueless as to how desirable he truly was. All the trauma he’d learned to deal with had caused him to retreat, tortoiselike, into a protective shell where no one could reach and hurt him.
“I know I make my living with words, but as the saying goes, actions speak louder.” Colson leaned forward and pressed a kiss on Harper’s lips, then traced the little constellation of freckles dotting the juncture of his neck and shoulder. “Does this answer your question?”
Finally a smile broke through, reaching Harper’s eyes. “Yeah. It helps. I know you’ve met David a few times, but this will be different. Like I said, I don’t bring people home or into my life. I don’t want David to become attached, only for them to disappear on him. I can’t be sure he’ll understand, and I’d never want him to think he was the reason. Because as far as I’m concerned, if someone doesn’t believe what I’m doing is right, that’s their problem, not mine, and I don’t want that kind of negativity in our lives.”
It made sense, but Colson knew from their previous interactions that Harper had little faith in people. “You must get overwhelmed sometimes. It can’t be easy to have that constant worry on your mind.” After his parents had told him to leave, he’d lived with his grandparents, and it broke his heart to see their health slowly deteriorate. He had no choice but to agree with their doctors to move them to a place where they’d be looked after by people better equipped than him to handle their increasingly complex medical issues. They needed care he couldn’t give. Even years later, the memories were still too painful, which was the main reason he’d never gone back to the house they’d left him in Connecticut.
“I don’t think of him as a burden. He’s just so pure and happy for the most part, how can I feel sorry for myself? He’s the one who’s had a raw deal in life.”
“Do you think you’re anticipating negativity?”
Harper shrugged. “I’ve had a lot of practice. However…” He paused and worried his lip. “I’d like you to come to my house and see exactly how we live.”
Colson knew that few people were allowed into Harper’s personal space. “I’d like that. I consider it a privilege to learn more about your brother.”
“Enough about me.” Harper laid heavy hands on his shoulders. “Tell me about what happened with your mother.”
As emotional as Harper’s story had left him, Colson was oddly detached relating his conversation with his parents.
