“Fuck. I knew it the second I saw you walk in. You’re fucking huge. Here.” A foil-wrapped condom was thrust into his hand. “It’s prelubed. Fuck me.” Brian dropped his shorts, baring his ass, and spread his legs.
He blinked, returning to the present. “And that’s how I lost my virginity. In a dirty shed with a guy I never saw again.”
As he told his story, Sean sat up and held him closer. “I think that happens with so many of us. We’re so scared to trust our truth.”
He almost didn’t want to ask the question, but as they were baring souls… “And you? Who was your first?” He smoothed his hand over Sean’s hair.
Sean dropped his forehead to Tristan’s shoulder. He trembled, and Tristan slid an arm around his waist. “You don’t have to tell me if it’s going to hurt too much.”
“No, I want to. I trust you.”
And his heart swelled at those words. Aside from Terry, no one had ever said that to him, and it made him feel special. Like he could accomplish anything. But all he wanted was to protect Sean and never let him get hurt again. So he listened.
“I was ten, and my foster family was having a picnic in the park. My foster mother’s uncle came by. He had a puppy, and I was playing with it when he asked if I wanted to take a walk with him and the dog. He wanted to teach him some tricks and said he wanted me to help him.”
Bile rose in Tristan’s throat. He knew what was coming, and he wanted to find this person and rip him to pieces.
“Of course I said yes. I was excited he’d picked me. We went into the woods and…” His breath hitched, and he jumped up. “I’m gonna be sick.” He took off across the apartment, and Tristan heard the bathroom door slam shut.
“Fucking bastard,” he growled and stomped around the room, needing to work off some of the anger from Sean’s story. The toilet flushed, and Sean emerged, pale and dragging his feet.
“Sorry.” He walked over and sat against the far wall of the living room, hugging his knees close. Tristan gave him space, facing him without crowding him.
“Don’t. Don’t ever apologize. So he hurt you.”
Sean rested his cheek on his knees. “Yeah,” he whispered.
“Did you tell anyone? Your foster family?”
“At first I was too scared, but when he announced he was moving in with them, I started acting out in school and causing trouble. I was so afraid to tell anyone—teachers, my foster parents, the other kids—but I figured maybe if I caused enough trouble, they’d send me away.”
“And did they?”
“Yeah. But even when I was placed in another home, I had nightmares and couldn’t concentrate in school. It wasn’t until I was about fifteen that I told my new foster family. They reported him, but it didn’t matter. Turns out he was killed by a neighbor who caught him trying to do the same thing to his son. I wish I’d said something sooner, but I was too frightened he’d hurt me.”
“Of course you were.” Tristan wouldn’t allow Sean to beat himself up, and scooted over to hug him tight. “You were a child. A victim who was threatened himself. I hope they got you help.” The fact that Sean managed to keep himself in one piece and get to this point surprised him, and he trembled with rage.
Clinging to him, Sean shivered and Tristan wouldn’t release him until his heart settled to a steadier rhythm. “I saw a therapist for years, and I’m okay now. Really. I know it wasn’t my fault, but it took a long time. I think that’s why I kept picking the wrong people in my life—friends and men—and maybe why I had a problem sticking with one job. I bent over backward for anyone to like me and would do whatever they wanted, always putting myself second.”
“That’s not love or friendship. People—the right people—will love you as you are without needing you to be anyone but yourself. Because from where I sit, Sean Lovett is a fucking awesome guy.”
“No one ever had faith like that in me until you.”
Tristan shook his head. “Not true. You had faith in yourself. You knew you could do it. That’s why you kept fighting and never gave up.” The buzzer sounded, and he kissed the top of Sean’s head. “That’ll be the furniture. Come on.”
He pulled Sean to his feet, and they waited by the door. Two burly men hauled the sofa out of the freight elevator and brought it into the apartment.
“Got the bed next,” one of them said and adjusted the belt around his waist. “We gotta bring that up in separate pieces.”
“No problem. We’ve got some water for you guys if you need it. It’s hot out there.”
The mover threw Tristan a grateful look. “Thanks. Appreciate it.”
“Sean, want to move it a bit to center it?”
“You mean so you can figure out the best way for you to watch the games while lying down?” Sean snickered, and Tristan pinched his ass.
“Yeah. With you right next to me.”
