Sean didn’t see him for two months. Then one evening after work, Sean arrived home around midnight to find Chad waiting for him, flowers in hand and begging Sean to take him back.
“I was dumb. I love you, Sean. I don’t want to lose you.”
And Sean, who’d never had a lover say that to him before, wanted to believe Chad and forgave him.
Things were good for another few months, until the drinking, partying, and disappearing act started again. The excuse was always the same:“It’s just the way I relieve stress.”
The last time it happened, Chad showed up at Sean’s smelling of an unfamiliar cologne, and he’d finally had enough. Sean stood at the door and didn’t let him in.“I can’t, Chad. I’m sorry.”
“You said you loved me.”
“So did you,” Sean retorted. “I should be enough, but it looks like I’m not.”
Never one to take no for an answer, Chad grabbed him. “You’re gonna regret this.” He pushed him against the wall, hard enough to bang his head, and Sean saw stars.
“Chad, stop.” He struggled, but Chad kissed him, taking his chin in a painful hold. Sean stopped moving and gave in to the press of a sour-tasting, whiskey-soaked mouth. He wanted to whimper in pain but kept still, hoping once he finished, he’d leave. For the first time, he was afraid.
Chad smirked and wiped his lips on his sleeve. “I knew you wanted it.”
And then he walked out.
Charlotte’s worried eyes met his. “You haven’t been in contact with him, have you? Please don’t tell me you asked him for help.”
“No,” Sean snapped, hating the fact that for a hot minute hehadthought of getting in touch with Chad. But pride stiffened his resolve to handle his issues on his own.
“So,” Charlotte continued, oblivious to his inner turmoil, “there’s no reason why you shouldn’t move on. Don’t let one bastard ruin your life.”
And if it had only been one, he wouldn’t. What Sean didn’t tell Charlotte, and never would, was that it wasn’t the first time he’d been used and tossed away. She didn’t need to know the ugly side of his life before they’d met. She had enough pressure dealing with her own struggles—a resentful mother-in-law, a husband who traveled often, leaving her with young children, and the lingering blowup with their parents. He didn’t want to add to her burdens. Giving in and falling for Chad proved what he’d already known. People didn’t give a shit, and they hurt you.
“I’m not interested in settling down.” He finished his coffee. “I’ll be out of your hair by this evening, I promise.”
“Stop it. I love you. Sometimes I wonder if you really know how much.”
“I love you too, Char.” He picked up his phone. “Lemme start calling my B list.”
“Oh my God, I’m so stupid.” Charlotte smacked herself on the head. “I just had a thought.”
God help me.
“Please let me do this on my own. I know you want to help, but—”
“Oh, quiet. This is serious. I can’t believe I didn’t think of it. Ray and I have an apartment in the city we’d use when we went to a Broadway show or to events Ray had to attend, but since the kids came, we’ve barely been able to get a night away. We’ve been subletting it, but our tenant left last month, so it’s sitting there vacant because Ray didn’t have a chance to get another subletter before he left for London. Why don’t you move in there until you figure out where you want to live and what you want to do?” Her smile broadened. “It’s on the Upper West Side, so it will be a straight shot for you to get to your restaurant, and I can guarantee it’ll be nicer than that dump you used to live in.”
“Thanks, Char.”
She lifted a shoulder. “I speak the truth, and you know it. It’s a one-bedroom, a little over seven hundred square feet, and it’s all furnished and everything. Just pay the maintenance, and it’ll be fine. It’s perfect for you.”
“Hmm. What’s the maintenance?”
“It’s around fifteen hundred a month.”
Sean considered it, but it was more than he was paying for his dumpy walk-up apartment. “I could afford it but not with the utilities. And not if I want to eat.”
“We can front you until you’re up on your feet. I’m sure Ray wouldn’t mind. And it’s not charity because I expect the money back.”
“I don’t know…” He liked Ray, and they got along well, but he’d always felt a little inferior to his older, hugely successful brother-in-law, even though Ray had never been anything but kind to him.
“Don’t be silly. It’s sitting there empty. You might as well stay and look after it. I know Ray was never happy about strangers living there, and now there won’t be.”
