He waited, hoping Tristan would give him a real answer and not a brush-off.
Tristan put his plate in the dishwasher. “Why do you keep making assumptions about me?” He grimaced. “I stink from my workout. I’m gonna go take a shower.”
Feeling stupid, Sean stood silent, and a few moments later he heard the water running. He looked down at the chicken wing he still held in his hand.
“What the hell?” He dropped it into the box and washed his greasy hands, then paced the living room, thoughts whirling through his head.
Was Tristan…gay? Bi? Usually he was good at picking up signs, even subtle ones from men who weren’t out. Tristan had presented a front that was so walled off, Sean had wondered if he was interested in sex at all.
“Maybe that’s why he was such a good undercover cop. He was able to hide who he really is.”
The shower stopped, and Tristan walked out with a towel around his waist. Water droplets fell from that glorious, thick mane of hair and clung to his shoulders. Sean didn’t realize he was staring until he caught the edge of Tristan’s smirk.
“Did I surprise you?”
“Uh, yeah.” Sean sank to the couch. “I was sure you were straight.”
Tristan’s lips twitched. “Well, it’s not exactly a subject I bring up in casual conversation or when I first meet people. But you seemed intent on talking about it, so I figured to get it out of the way so we can put it to bed. I’m gay.”
Sean scowled. “I wasn’tintent. I just thought there were things that didn’t add up, but I never got the vibe that you’re gay.”
“Why? Because I didn’t try and hook up with you?”
Face flaming, Sean wished there was a hole in the ground he could slide into because damn him. Tristan had said aloud what Sean had been thinking.
Didn’t Tristan find him attractive enough to want to sleep with?
“No, of course not. I mean…we hardly know each other.”
Did that excuse sound as lame as he thought? Because Sean had no qualms about sex on the first date. That basically summed up all his experiences with men. Sex on the first date, and then they disappeared. All except Chad. Maybe that was why he’d become so attached. Chad was the only one who’d ever come back to him.
Tristan remained as hard and closed off as ever. “It’s nothing personal, so don’t take it as such. Just is what it is.”
“Yeah.” His smile was as fake as a three dollar bill. “No problem.”
Nothing personal? He must be fucking kidding. He would gladly give up all the money he’d made that day to spend one night in Tristan’s bed. Conscious and sober this time, that was. Now only a towel stood between Sean and paradise, but it might as well have been the Great Wall of China. Sean was not going to get another chance to scale those heights.
Unaware of his internal torment, Tristan sat on the couch, his hairy, bare legs stretched out in front of him. “So you were a success your first day. Planning to hit up the same spots tomorrow?”
Focusing on something else besides what lay beneath Tristan’s towel, Sean licked his lips. “Uh, yeah. Definitely. From what I read up on buskers, people want consistency. They want to know that you’ll be there. You build up a rapport with them.”
Tristan rubbed his chin. “Makes sense. I’ve got six apartments to look at tomorrow.”
“Oh, great.”
This afternoon was proving more and more depressing as it went on. Hearing that Tristan was gay and didn’t find him attractive or desirable was bad enough, but knowing he was pushing hard to leave—because looking at six apartments was a physically and mentally exhausting endeavor—left Sean anxious.
Was he ever going to get out of this hole life had dug for him?
It might only be early evening, but all Sean wanted was to get into bed and pull the covers up over him.
Except he didn’t have a bed this week. And that was what had gotten him into trouble in the first place.
“I’m gonna have some cake.”
What should’ve been a celebration turned out to be him standing and shoving a fork into the chocolate fudge, then stuffing his face. When Sean awoke in the middle of the night with heartburn, he wasn’t surprised. And he knew once Tristan left, the pain of loneliness would be ten times worse.
Chapter Twelve
