“What big deals?”
“Commercial property. Commissions can really add up, so Marty’s been pushing hard.”
“For him or for me?” I held up a hand. “Don’t answer. I’m just curious. Did Marty tell you we had a big fight and he told me not to call you anymore?”
Her brows drew together. “N-no. I know you texted me, but I wasn’t feeling well. The humidity here makes it hard for me to breathe sometimes. He told me he’d tell you.”
“He didn’t. You mean you were sick and he didn’t let me know?” A red rage descended over me. “How fucking dare he?”
“Ronan, don’t be mad. You can see I’m okay. Really. Please don’t be angry with him. You and I weren’t in a good place, so he probably didn’t want to upset me.”
“He told me not to call you. He said you never wanted to talk to me again.”
“I’m sure he didn’t mean it that way.” Though given the lines of worry creasing her face, she didn’t believe it either.
But I was more interested in seeing if there was any possibility of rebuilding our relationship. I leaned forward. “Why didn’t you make more of an effort to come see me? It was so impossibly lonely, endless days and longer nights, and every day I hoped maybe you’d show up, but you never did. You were so…uncaringis the only word I can come up with. I loved you so much, and you were willing to throw it all away for a big house and a designer lifestyle.” Humiliation burned bright and hot, but I didn’t care. In my mind, I had one chance to make things right with my sister.
“There’s no excuse, so I won’t even try and make one up. I was so stupid. It was a horrible, terrible thing you did for us, and if I could go back, I would, but back then, all I saw was me going to jail and having my baby there, and I almost had a nervous breakdown.” Copious tears streamed from her eyes. “I knew if I went to jail, I’d lose the baby, and I couldn’t do it. So I sold you out, let you take the fall for me.” She buried her face in her hands. “I’m stupid and weak and I know you’ll never be able to forgive me, but I’m sorry, Ronan. I’m sorry.”
Her thin shoulders shook, and I wanted to comfort her, but my hurt ran bone-deep. I needed more. “All I wanted was for you to say you understood what I went through, that you appreciated it and were sorry. Why did it have to come to this? Why didn’t you even call me more? You know I’d do anything for you—I went to prison and now I have a record. Why wasn’t I worth the effort?”
She gazed at me with red-rimmed eyes still awash with tears. “I’m a coward, don’t you know? I let everyone carry my weight. You and Marty have been doing it for years.”
“Mommy, why are you crying?”
I was so focused on Cassie, I hadn’t even heard the door open, but when I turned around, the doorway framed three children. Nicky, the oldest, took after Marty with wavy dark hair and wide green eyes. But the two little girls…my heart hurt at how much like Cassie they looked. Three little faces stared at me.
“I’m not, sweeties. Come here.” She waved them over, and they ran to her, throwing Gabriel and me curious glances. I itched to hug them, but I was a stranger. For now. “I want you to meet someone.” She pointed at me. “That’s my big brother, Ronan. He’s your uncle.”
“Like Uncle Jeff? Daddy’s brother?” Nicky couldn’t take his eyes off of me, while the two little girls, Molly and Samantha, inched closer to Cassie. Of course he had no memory of me; he was a baby when I was sent away.
“Yes, exactly like Uncle Jeff. Uncle Ronan lives in New York City, and he came for a surprise visit.” She wiped her eyes.
“Why are you crying? Aren’t you happy, Mommy?” Molly tugged at her shirt. “He looks like you.”
“I’m very happy.” Her smile lit up the room.
“Who’s that?” Nicky pointed to Gabriel.
“That’s Gabriel, my boyfriend.”
Their mouths formed Os, and they all sneaked peeks at Gabriel, whose warm smile and little waves earned him ones in return.
“Nicky, I remember when you were a baby. You’re such a big boy now.”
“I’m eight,” he announced proudly.
Molly chimed in, “I’m six, and Sami’s three.”
Sami held her hands up to Cassie, who took her on her lap, where she snuggled in her arms but gave shy smiles to Gabriel and me.
“I don’t remember you.” Nicky’s eyes crinkled.
“I know you don’t, and that’s okay. You were too little. I bet you love being a big brother and having two little sisters to watch out for.”
Obviously, he’d never thought of it that way because he shrugged, but he gave Molly and Sami a look that said maybe that was going to change.
“They always wanna play with me.”
