“Fuck, that’s hot.” Ronan grasped my hips and pulled me near, his hips pistoning in and out of me. His fingers dug into my skin as he came, filling the condom with heat. His raspy cheek pressed to mine. “Incredible.”
“Mmhmm.” Exhausted and with pleasure still singing through me, I could barely speak. I clung to Ronan, needing his body heat and weight.
Ronan chuckled. “Cat got your tongue?” He nipped my lips, and I slipped my arm around his neck and kissed him hard, exploring every inch of his mouth.
“No, you do. My tongue, my mouth, my body.” I swept my hand over the curve of his spine. “My heart.”
His blue eyes softened. “For a big, tough bodyguard, you’re pretty damn sweet.”
“Don’t tell anyone. It might ruin my image and chance to get work.”
He slipped out of me, and after getting rid of the condom, snuggled next to me in bed. Ronan craved the same things I did—home, security, to be loved.
“You don’t need to do this anymore. I can hire you full-time to watch my body.”
I smacked his ass, leaving my hand to rest on him. “That’s a given. But I’m not going to mooch off you. When you decide you don’t need me any longer, I’ll figure something out. I need to be busy.” I squeezed a muscled ass cheek. “Maybe I’ll ask Ivan for office work.”
Ronan rolled over. “I don’t want you to feel like you can’t do what you love.”
“I love you. So I’ll keep doing that.”
Ronan shook with laughter. “God, that was bad. Not as bad as your singing in the shower, but still…” Abruptly he sat up and gazed down at me, his heavy-lidded eyes unable to disguise his concern, and I tensed, fearing I wasn’t going to like what he had to say. “Can I ask you something?”
“Yeah.” Warily, I braced myself against the headboard. “Shoot.” Inexplicably, my heart pounded.
Ronan licked his lips and dragged his hands through his tangled hair. “What do you think about contacting your brother and sister?” I opened my mouth, but he held up his hand. “Hear me out. I know you said you didn’t want to spring it on them, but my concern is you. Don’t build up all these horrible scenarios in your head that might never happen.”
My sweaty hands twisted the sheets so tightly, I was afraid they’d rip, so I forced myself to release them. “I can’t imagine how they’d feel if I suddenly popped up.”
His frank blue eyes held mine. “Imagine how they’d feel if something happened and they never had the chance to get to know you. I understand you’re freaked out. But look at Marshall.” He grabbed his phone from the floor and scrolled through for a few seconds and showed me the screen. “You guys look so much alike.”
I studied my half brother’s face. Ronan was right. Aside from Marshall having brown eyes, our faces were way too similar to be accidental. Anyone seeing us side by side would know we were related. And yet… “We do. I just…I don’t want to hurt them.”
Ronan tossed the phone aside and crawled next to me. “I don’t like seeing you hurting. Maybe nothing would come out of it and they’d end up saying they don’t want you in their lives. And that’s okay. We’d go on as we will. But if they do? Babe. You’d have a whole new family.”
How did you erase years of self-doubt about your own worth? It wasn’t going to happen overnight.
“Maybe.” It was the best I could come up with. “Let’s shower and figure out dinner before my life.” Suddenly I missed Isaac and wanted to see him. “I’m going to call Isaac and see if he’s free to come over. You guys should get to know each other better, and I want to bring him up-to-date.” I left the bed, needing a hot shower.
Ronan followed me. “I’d like that. And you can tell him what we talked about and get his opinion too.”
I didn’t answer. I already knew what Isaac would say.
***
“You gotta be fucking kidding me.”
At least that was what I thought Isaac said, since he was stuffing his face with pizza. I waited until he swallowed.
“Crazy, right?”
“That’s not the word for it. Un-fucking-believable. Your father is some piece of work.” He took a swallow of beer.
“Piece of shit, if you ask me,” Ronan mumbled, and Isaac shot him a look and a thumbs-up.
“I’m right there with you, Ronan. I’m soangryfor you, Gabriel. All these years beating yourself up, thinking you did something, when I told you it wasn’t your fault.” He tossed the slice away. “I hope you told him to go fuck himself.”
“Not in those words, but he knows I’m upset. He’s weak and let her dictate his life, and in the process, made me feel like shit. She’s probably the most selfish person I’ve ever met.”
